It’s a DP unreasonable one…..

[chellewillnotbebeaten]

So, DP says he might be going out to eat this evening, mid afternoon says he’s not sure but might. Anyway, I crack on with the usual, washing, cleaning, bathing dd, sorting her tea etc….. he’s laid on bed and asks what’s for tea. I said I wasn’t planning anything actually seen as you said you might be going out, thought you probably would.
launch massive rant about why didn’t I just say I wasn’t cooking, I shouldn’t be so selfish, I only think of myself etc….. lots of stomping around and eventually says well I’ll have to go out now……
I just carried on fold the washing from the dryer…… 🤣
surely this is HIM being unreasonable 🤣 surely my cooking a meal or not should not dictate if he has to go out or not …..
RANT over 🤣
SO…..
YABU - cook for the poor bloke woman!
or
YANBU - you are not his maid

Does he ever cook?

Poor communication on both sides , also why is he going out to eat without you?

so you're doing all the washing, cleaning cooking and he is lying on beds and stropping about, eating out when he pleases? Does he think he lives in a hotel?

I generally organise evening meals but he is more than capable of cooking a decent dinner for himself

Aren't you having any tea? You could ask him to cook for you both ....,

Is dd his?

If so, has he marked the fact it's mothers day or not? (Or are you not UK)

Happy mother's day. Sorry your eldest baby had massive mantrum and ruined it.

I mean you’re missing the wood for the trees here, this one interaction is clearly the least of your problems.
Not sure why all the laughing emojis when it’s clear you’re in a pretty shitty relationship

Me my mum and dd went out for lunch early afternoon so I don’t really want a big meal. For context he was invited but happy for the three of us just to go. He thinks Mother’s Day is a money making scam, which I’ve learnt to live with so wasn’t expecting anything in that respect, and yes dd is his.
Im annoyed at his response obviously, in the past it would have really upset me and I’d have probably backed down and cooked but I am fully confident this is HIS being unreasonable. I have to roll my eyes and continue to take my sertraline else I’d be very upset…… men eh? 🤦🏻‍♀️

It’s not “men”, no.
This isn’t remotely normal behaviour in an adult relationship with children.

He is being unreasonable. He is perfectly capable of sorting out his own dinner. My husband does.

The 'money making scam' doesn’t make sense though does it as it would cost him nothing to do some of the jobs round the house, cook dinner and generally be nice to you. I wonder why you bother with him, clearly he is a poor example to your child.

His behaviour is very confusing. He might go out, but then expects you to cook for him in case he decides he doesn't want to, and explodes at you while lying on the bed like a lazy arse watching you cleaning house? I wouldn't be cooking for him again until he learns to control his tantrums.

This is going a bit deeper so feel free to ignore, but you mentioned anti-depressants. How supportive has he been to you while you manage your low mood on top of everything else? And does his behaviour contribute to your low mood?

He doesn’t have to spend any money to not go out for tea without you on Mother’s Day and help with your DD though…

Why was he laying on the bed having a tantrum and watching you do everything rather than helping? I agree with the poster who said this isnt a men thing, this is your partner. I genuinely would not tolerate a grown man having a strop like a toddler whilst I was doing everything (I also wouldn't be doing everything, especially on Mother's Day!)

He sounds absolutely awful. You may find that if you get rid of him you won't need the sertraline.

I think I would have been tempted to just and laugh at him whilst he threw his ridiculous tantrum.
And yes he is being very unreasonable

What's his opinion on father's day?

Has he just engineered an argument so he can go out and/or spoil your day? Does he do that on other occasions?

He's a cock. Sorry, really sorry for saying that but his behaviour and treatment of you is appalling.

He’s very tolerant of my bad times with mental health and my debts, he earns well and organises everything for doing up the house, and he is really good with dd when he’s with her.
I’ve been in a terrible place mentally the last year, I finally seem to be getting myself sorted but I do question myself sometimes. I do work 34hrs a week so it’s not like I don’t have a wage coming in, I contribute to all bills etc….. but have very little left over from paying for nursery fees and paying of credit cards and getting dd everything she needs……. It’s a funny situation I acknowledge that.
and yes in the past I do feel he has in part contributed to my low mood, I don’t handle stress the best and felt so run down with doing a demanding job, running a house, taking care of dd even though she’s my absolute world, so I’ve tried to organise things better to alleviate some stresses like using the drier more much to his annoyance, and change things at work slightly, and not stressing about meals that take ages to cook as well as the usual evening routine with a small child, but I do cook! Usually haha. And we have bread and butter and baked beans in, and pasta and sauces so he could have made something, the dram was not needed……
this is in part a rant post and in part half hearted as luckily mentally I’m in a better place now and know this is not my being unreasonable…..

I couldn’t agree more with you tonight!

He’s not bothered about it but I do get him a card and present from dd despite never having to do it myself as I never had a dad

Leave the abusive twat!

He sounds awful!

No interest in making you feel at all special or looked after on Mother’s Day, doesn’t help at all, says he’ll go out to eat without you to spend money but won’t go for lunch with you due to “money making scam”. Has a go at you for not cooking for him when he’s said he might go out and also hasn’t had any discussion that suggested you might be cooking. All whilst lying about watching you work!

I really don’t see the point of him!