AIBU to feel upset about no Mother’s Day present this year?

[MrsHayds]

I'm trying not to be ungrateful and I feel a bit silly.
Had a lovely breakfast in bed this morning for Mother's Day. Breakfast was made with things I picked up form the shop yesterday, otherwise we wouldn't have had those things in. DS (7yo) had 2 cards for me. 1 he made at school and 1 shop bought with a small message from him and DH.
I said, sort of jokingly, "do I get a present?" because I was expecting flowers maybe, which has been the case the lash few years (sometimes with something else) and DS said "daddy said mummy doesn't need a present". DH came back to the room and he said "I asked DS if he wanted to make something and he said no". I said "well it's not really up to the 7yo to sort out.... I can't really tell if you're joking or not" (because he does sometimes joke about stuff like that). And his face fell and he said "are you serious?".
I've felt like shit the whole day. It's not really about the present but about feeling like an afterthought. DH was off last week for 5 days, including the weekend, so it's not like there was no time. He stopped at the shop on his way from from work yesterday to get oat milk as aldi had none when I went, so he could easily have picked up flowers there.
He said "we'll go now and get some flowers" and I told him not to bother because it was done now. He apologised and asked if there was anything that would make it better. I said no, I knew he was sorry but I was still going to be upset but that I would get over it.
He did take DS to the shop to get flowers and chocolates while I was in the shower which, as I said, wasn't needed.

Have just felt sad about it all day. Sorry this was so long, kinda ended up venting.

I can see why you’re upset op, but I don’t think it was from a place of malice. They still did something nice for you (making breakfast). At the end of the day, Mother’s Day is just another day, maybe try to think about how they show their appreciation all throughout the year? I do get your feelings but he obviously feels bad and has done his best to rectify, hopefully he won’t make the same mistake next year

Well, do nothing for Father’s Day and then see how he likes it.

Sorry Op. You’re lovely 7yo expressed his love for you in his own way. No way you’re an afterthought. Happy Mother’s Day.

I've actually planned to go over the top for Father's Day in petty revenge 😎

I don’t really get why it’s not the done thing anymore to get flowers . I just think it’s one day and any shop you go into this week you can’t move for flowers , so it’s actually a choice not to get flowers if that makes sense . Especially if he has been off and was in a supermarket yesterday. I didn’t get any this year and felt a bit sad too but I’m a single Mum of two boys so somewhere it got forgotten about. It’s a little hurtful but I wouldn’t be too upset it’s just a bit confusing. Just get the Mums flowers fgs it’s one day a year! I would never expect it but just hopeful! Im glad they got you some in the end.

No I don't think it was from a place of malice either, and I am so grateful for the breakfast. Just a bit disappointed in the lack of forethought.

Stop telling women they’re being silly or that a hug should be enough or that it’s just another day blah blah blah. We literally do everything for everyone ALL.THE.TIME and suck body parts that we don’t want to when we’re exhausted form the doing of everything so that our husbands don’t feel like neglected souls and run off with their secretaries! A £10 bunch of flowers is not fucking hard!! And it matters that they show their appreciation for everything we do IMO. And if that takes a gift that you can afford then so be it. I will assume that if you expected a gift then money isn’t an issue anyway. I’ve been absolutely roasted on another post (I’m not even reading them, I already know what they say 😂) but my position is unchanged.

Gifts are nice (to most of us, and her husband would know her enough to know she would like something) and not difficult to buy in this day and age.

Return his energy for a while OP.

That’s not revenge.

I am with you it's the lack of thought. I however have DH and DD 5
She made me two cards (one picked by me for my mum- she wrote in it and gave it to me...)
I have had no present
I made everyone breakfast and lunch, and he has been out for 4hrs today- I have done most of the tidying of the toys we were going to do together)
I had no present- apparently he forgot (I even sent links to things I might like).... And she wanted an afternoon tea- so I sorted the shopping for that too....

Agree. Men didn’t respond to stuff like that. All he will care about is that he got treated well. They’ve been taking advantage for centuries.

Sorry Apple, sounds a bit like mine. I also sent a link to something a couple weeks ago, nothing major, the thing cost about a tenner. I hope your afternoon tea was nice though!

That’s the opposite of revenge OP

My teenager made me the most amazing card at school on Friday. Totally her own idea, loads of detail (not her strong point at all!), and it’s the best thing anyone has ever given me or done for me.

I think you need to appreciate the little meaningful things. Which definitely aren’t flowers or chocolates.

Thank you! I don't think I'm BU, but so many people have voted that I am 😂
Money definitely isn't an issue for a bunch of flowers, and he does know me well enough by now (married nearly 12 years!!)

It wasn't so much the actual flowers or chocolates, it was the fact I wasn't thought of.

I have no words.

Clearly you’re unhappy but Jesus Christ your description of your own experience is not the norm.

That’s rubbish. So many awful blokes on MN. I don’t know any like this in rl.

Please treat him with the same disregard on Father’s Day.

i think you are being ridiculous. You had a nice breakfast in bed , 2 cards from your son and you turned the day to dust by sulking about no gift .

Hmmm - depends on the man. My DP would be mortified with a big fuss on Father’s Day.

But they made you breakfast in bed, so you were thought of.

Mother’s Day in our house has always been something small.

I had a shop brought card (from two children) and was pretty generic and boring. A very small box of chocolates. I did ask for chocolates. But I know full well they were from a shop where dh grabs a bit of lunch from. There’s been no thought into it at all. Was told we was going to go for breakfast but I had a fry up yesterday. Then told he was going to take me out for lunch, but we had that on Thursday!! So he’s done nothing. He has made dinner but we take that in turns anyway. Feel a bit let down and like no thought has gone into it. So I shall do the same on Father’s Day. But he’s so bloody blinkered that dh probably won’t care!! A bunch of flowers would have been nice. I nearly got myself some when I picked up my own mothers.

Haven't been sulking. I said I had been sad about it. Don't be offended by my feelings 😊

You were thought of though. I don't really understand you implying they didn't really think of you when they did. DS made a card (in school) and his dad had got him one to give you too. They also brought you breakfast in bed. I don't really get this fuss about it was only using items already in the cupboards, what did you think you should be getting?!
It sounds like they did something nice.

As I said, I was grateful for those. Just sad that he hadn't bothered to actually do anything other than make me some toast and coffee. This is my 7th mother's day and I've had flowers for 6 of them... So it's not weird for me to expect them today really.

FFS! What is it about fully grown women getting all sulky because they don’t get presents?! You got a card, so they did think of you.