AIBU to refuse to change the car battery given my caring duties?

[Kardelen]

how easy is it to change car batteries?
we changed my dads one a few years back, but it was me, my husband and dad.
i remember it being very heavy, and also having a small electric shock midway.

at the moment, I have two young children im caring for, and my elderly parents, and also my husband who is unwell.
so my husband can’t help, it’s out the picture. But my dad also can’t help as he is elderly, chronic pain, breathlessness etc, but is eager for me to buy it and thinks he can do it alone.

he was gonna ask my brother, but as usual very reluctant and im the go to person. But this time I said I can’t do it, but feeling guilty.

am I being unreasonable of not wanting to do it? - only because I remember last time it was 3 of us and we struggled.

She explained excuses for not doing a very simple job. 2 kids? How is that an excuse 😂 I still change my own car batteries and I’ve more than 3 times the amount of kids. I cat believe it took 3 of them to change a the battery last time, my 12 year old can lift them into the car himself and it took 3 grown adults to do that!!
I can’t believe some comments here, how are people so utterly useless that can’t simply swap a car battery out, loosen the clamps, swap the batteries over and clamp it in, that’s literally it. It weighs the same as a young toddler ffs

She’s also caring for elderly parents. Some of us know exactly what that’s like, hence advising her to outsource everything possible.

If you can lift a baby you can lift a car battery ffs

I can relate very much. I needed a new battery and I kept putting it off. My car wouldn’t start twice so I had to call the RAC to come and jumpstart it and then went and bought the battery but I had it in my boot for so long because I had no one actually to fit. I didn’t want to pay Halford £45 to fit it because that could be my food shop for a whole week. Luckily for me, I had it in the car and And I randomly bumped into an ex Who I asked to do it.

It is a fairly simple job, but yes, the battery weighs about 20 kg. You need a spanner wrench to be able to undo the bolts and there may be a bracket that needs undoing as well. I would say knock on a few doors and see if there are any men there who would be happy to help. Most men can do this within a few minutes.

Or worst case, just watch a video on YouTube. I got the RAC guy to explain how to do it and he did say the battery can only fit in one way. If you have breakdown cover, I would also recommend just calling them and saying your car isn’t starting. When they come and it starts ask if they can fit the battery.

Endanger lives changing a car battery? Are you always this dramatic in life? 😂 There’s plenty of videos on YouTube for idiots to
follow, even dramatic ones lol
And “if you can afford a car you can afford to have someone experienced fix it” is a ridiculously snobby statement from someone who clearly isn’t living had to mouth like millions are these days!! People have cars to get them round, tax, insurance, fuel etc is just about all they can handle paying for as they’re feeding their kids and keeping a roof over their heads so don’t have anything spare. But also replacing a battery isn’t “fixing” a car, the cars not broken just battery needs replaced so doesn’t need any experience.

It's one of those things that's easy to do if you know how to do it. But, I'd just go to Halfords autocentre and buy one there and they'll fit it for you in a few mins.

Halfords will change a battery for a payment

RAC & AA breakdown will too if you have their cover, can't remember if it is free, but I have had one replaced in the past at home

Or a local mobile mechanic will do it

Okay apologies I have checked and it is £50 - still 100% worth it

It certainly doesn’t take three people to lift a car battery, but, if you don’t want to do it, book it into somewhere, as others have said.

Well, can I first ask if you are the dad or the mum? And your child is 12?! Doesn’t need constant supervision does he? And I bet your partner also helps to look after, and you also don’t have any other extra caring responsibilities to your family members?

Oh for heavens sake I was a single parent with 3 kids and a full time job. What excuse woulg tgat be to not do a 10 min job

@Kardelen use Halfords or a garage and don’t give it another thought OP.
I am 55 years old , DH is relatively good at mechanical related stuff and he has never installed his own battery, nor have I heard of anyone else installing theirs. it’s likely to reset something with cars being so sophisticated these days and cause a much more expensive trip to the garage.

Well that’s you my love. Congratulations to you. Not everyone is as ‘talented ‘ as you.

I also work, and also have caring responsibilities for 3 others ( not including children) and trust me, it’s much more difficult than looking after 3 kids.

Maybe this is more of a younger generation thing then? I am a couple of decades older than you, and we would always do this kind of simple maintenance stuff. We were taught by our Dads to be more self sufficient and thereby save money.

Be very careful with halfords fitting

Maybe - DF is spectacularly useless on anything practical so that could be true. But cars did used to be more straightforward as well, I am pretty sure the maintenance system on mine which operates the radio locks out if the battery is taken out and only the garage has the code.

Regardless @Kardelen you are right caring for adults is harder than DCs and you have my sympathies.

We do most things ourselves on the cars but we cant even change the bulbs in one of them because the amount of dexterity and strength needed to get the headlamps off, you literally need 3 hands each with 20 fingers to try to get purchase on it, its impossible for us

So for a simple bulb change, we have to take it to the garage.

I'm not particularly talented. Just didn't have any other. Bugger to do stuff for me and no money to throw away getting it done

Yet the weekend kids at halfords can do this amazingly complicated stuff.. my son's friend had a weekend job there. He was shown how to fit bulbs and wipers and left to get in with it. Certain cars ( assume the ones that are actually complicated) they don't do

We are not useless, we just can afford to and prefer to pay someone else to do it.

So just laziness rather than uselessness then

Laziness? Depends on what you understand by that.
I have better things to do, for sure. Which can include but are not limited to work, active hobbies, various errands. If that sounds lazy to you, then absolutely.

I've used my local garage in the past. It's something I feel better at getting someone else to do.

Depends on the car. I take mine out to charge up at least.once a year. Never had issues. Easy to book online with Halfords though.

So let me get this straight, to add to the list of

competitive undereating
competitive overeating
competitive bin management
competitive cleaning - particularly the 'deep clean'
competitive kids clubs/extra curricular activities

We now have, competitive battery changing and car maintenance.

I've jotted it down.