AIBU to suspect partner was messaging someone while in bed with baby?

[Bluebellpoppy1]

Our 9 month baby has been awake for a few hours so I have been up too. Partner has been sleeping. I shortly went back to bed with baby so he could say hi before starting work. Partner works from home and is always in lots of meetings all day so we dont see him much despite him being upstairs.

Baby started crawling over him and he titled phone away so I couldn't see. I then said to baby oh come here daddy is trying to work. He said "what" i repeated it and he said "yes". He then titled his phone back and I noticed the background was white and he closed the app.

I know from expiernce and from when he has checked his phone that ms teams is black background and so are his emails.

Maybe im feeling a bit hormonal as we havent had sex in a while due to baby who wont sleep. But my thought is he was messaging someone. A woman. What do you think? I wonder if I should ask.

Thank u

OP this sounds like it is about you, not him. I have to be honest, if a man were behaving as you are- accusing their partner of messaging other people with no real reason, not wanting them to have any privacy with their phone- it would be a huge red flag and would be held up as an example of coercive control. I’m sure you don’t mean it like that at all, but you will destroy your relationship if you carry on like this.

Was also going to say this 😂 DH likes to rib me about what I’m doing on MN

Do you think he was looking at something for mothers day for you and didn't want you to see? Like a moonpig card or a website ordering you a gift? If he's never given you any doubt before, i'd not think too much into it unless he had a history of doing it x
Edited for spelling

Shopping for mothers day? I only ever tilt my screen away from dp when I'm buying him something

Ive texted him asking

Why would you do this?!

1. It gives him the chance to delete messages etc if there was anything happening (which is sounds like there isn’t).
2. You don’t trust his answers anyway so it’s pointless.
3. If he is innocent, which it sounds like he is, it’s horrible for him to be accused of something.

Either look at his phone properly or get help for your trust issues.

He happily let you use his phone while he was out of the room yesterday evening, and he didn’t have notifications silenced? That doesn’t sound like someone who has something to hide on their phone.

My teams background is white.

Has he ever done anything to cause this lack of trust? If my DH accused me of cheating purely because I tilted my phone, I’d think he’d gone a bit mad. If he’d accused me multiple times before, I’d be starting to get a bit fucked off with it.

Well you believe him unless he’s given you reason not to trust him. There is nothing you have written that would suggest he was talking to another woman.

AI has white screen backgrounds.. so do a lot of shopping websites.

I think OP you are being a bit paranoid. I hope you both work it out

Yes I have to agree this is an enormous leap - so many websites have white backgrounds! Why would it only be teams or email, presumably he has to look things up elsewhere for work? Or he could have been looking at the news and didn't want the baby to see images of death and destruction?

I tilt my phone towards myself around my child all the time, and I don't have a partner.

I wonder what your husband must be getting away with

You can believe him after you use a lie detector

You have serious trust issues OP

See what happens on mother's day, why wouldn't you believe him? He seems really involved with the family and very hard working and he's obviously not meeting up with anyone. You sound very insecure really. Unless there is a whole back story of infidelity.

Wait a minute, you were being serious?

On what grounds do you assume the OP’s husband was speaking to an escort? My default position with men is not to trust them, but even I can’t see what the bloke has done wrong here. I can’t only assume you’ve had this happen to you, and it’s left you bitter. I’d recommend therapy as your reactions on this post aren’t those of someone healthy.

Guess you’ll find out on Sunday if there’s no surprise!

Even a surprise wouldn’t prove his innocence. He just has to come up with one to cover his arse.

Fecking hell @COYG69based on what she has put here that is ridiculous! If my DP did that I would end it immediately. And I’ve never been unfaithful!
Is this lack of trust a regular thing in your relationship OP? Where does it come from?

I have accused him of similar in past and theres always a reason which is never bad and he usually shows me.

Has he ever given you any grounds for not trusting you?

This sounds a bit exhausting TBH

OP, if it looked like a chat and had a white background, my first thought was that he was just using ChatGPT. Or it was a customer service live chat on a retail site.

It’s worrying that you’ve accused your husband of cheating multiple times and made him repeatedly show you his phone etc. That isn’t healthy. Why did you marry a man you apparently have such a low opinion of?

If my DP kept questioning what I was doing on my phone and demanding I prove I’m not cheating, I’d consider that controlling and paranoid and I’d leave.

I agree. That poster is either a goady troll or has severe issues - either way they should step away from this thread. Their comments will not be helping the OP.

Who the fuck are you, a Coercive Control Coach?

True. OP must receive her present on Sunday then ask for proof of time and date of purchase of the gift and if it does not exactly tally with the slight screen tilt in bed the other day then LTB

I’ve just checked their posting history. They’ve only been on the site a few days and pretty much every comment has been goady BS.

Sometimes my DH asks me what I'm doing on my phone and I'll tell him I'm talking to my other man!!
I'm not and he knows it

Why don't you trust him??