About my DDs tutor - year 1

[plsnoroast]

I’ve signed my DD 6 years old up for tutoring with one of those tutoring services where the kids go once a week in a classroom and then get set worksheets based on any gaps.

I did this because the school have said she’s a bit ‘ low average ‘ in some areas ( for the private school’s standards ).

I have done stuff with her at home but wanted more targeted and tailored help so I’ve sought out this service to help me help my DD better.

anywhow, I’m not doing it because she’s so bright that I think she needs pushing, but more that I want her to be at expected level in maths and English.

some of the comments the tutor has made have made me feel like she’s expecting a bit too much for my DD. I’ve cross checked these expectations with some online research and it seems like some of the things DD is doing are normal. For example occasionally sounding out unfamiliar words when reading.

she’s at expected level of reading and always has been. ( she’s on orange books and I think about to move up, in RWI ).

But the tutor said she shouldn’t be sounding out words ever and other 6 year olds don’t do that…

the tutor has identified some gaps, like counting back and forwards to 100. Which we are working on and is already improving. Also she sometimes inverts a couple of numbers. Again, improving.

anyway I know there are 6 year olds breezing through this, so no need for all the ‘ my child was doing algebra comments ‘. We are talking about an average (maybe slightly lower average ) child- sounding out a couple of tricky words. It’s pissed me off and makes me think she doesn’t know what she’s doing and has the wrong expectations.

Get rid of the tutor OP. 6 year olds are actively encouraged by their teachers within schools to sound out words - it’s the norm, the tutor has no idea what they’re talking about. Sorry you’ve had this experience

Sounding out unfamiliar words at 6 sounds totally normal to me!

Tutoring for a 6 year old is properly full-on, though. I think you will tend to attract people who assume you're doing it because you want your child hot-housed unless you're very clear it's remedial.

Do you think she won't just catch up on her own?

the tutor knows our situation in detail. She knows I’m not just being a pushy parent.

I just want to be proactive. I know what it’s like when you don’t know what’s happening and it just gets worse and worse and not better. I don’t want her to think she’s dumb or behind. Already !

So you're paying for school and then paying for tutoring on top? At year 1? Either your expectations are too high or you really aren't getting your money's worth.

Anyway. My DD is 10 and secure or greater depth in all subjects. She still sounds out the occasional unfamiliar word. It's completely normal. Lots of 6 year olds are still on phonics.

I'm a 40 odd year old woman educated to post grad level who's currently reading a fantasy novel where the characters and places have made up 3 or 4 syllable names. I'm sounding them out phonetically. It's a very good strategy for reading unfamiliar words at any age!

What's your daughter's experience of the tutor? Does she like them? Are the lessons engaging/enjoyable for her?

The tutor and the school both sound like a huge waste of money to be honest.

Sounding out words is a completely normal strategy when encountering new words. I would ditch the tutor, remember your child is 6 years old.

I would also maybe look at whether this school is a suitable setting for her if they've decided she's behind. She sounds like she's doing fine but all this extra pressure on her is likely to lead to your daughter not reaching her potential a self fulfilling prophecy if that makes sense.

The school you're paying for should be giving your child the support to help her achieve the expected progress and level, OP.

Why aren't they?

Ugh, sounds awful!

Just hear her read every day and ask her about what she's read to check her understanding. Definitely encourage decoding still at her age and read TO her every day too so she gets to increase her vocabulary and her enjoyment of stories & books.

At age 6 that's what she needs, not sitting in a classroom "doing worksheets to fill the gaps". That's a sure fire way to put her off school and learning altogether!

What are the school doing to support her?

I don't think there's anything wrong with finding extra support for your DD either. Feeling confident and having an "I'm good at this" attitude makes learning new material easier. And the opposite is true too. Either way it can be a spiral of mindset and attainment.

Where ever possible, at such a young age, the aim should be to keep learning active and fun. Worksheets are the most boring of things. But you could write out tricky words on post it's and hide them around the house like a treasure hunt. You can use chalk to make a hopscotch and write out the numbers.

@plsnoroast Do you know what qualifications the tutor holds? Does she have QTS?

This.
Orange band at this point in the year is good!
Many year 1s are reversing numbers and still learning to count back from 100.
I teach Year 1 and none of this would worry me in the slightest.

They’re saying she has potential attention issues which may be causing her to not ‘ get ‘ stuff/ retain it properly. They’re looking into that and will contact us regarding next steps.

in the meantime, I think it’s sensible anyway, to offer her a little extra help. Slowly. Nothing intense, no ‘ hours of work ‘. Just a little bit, tailored to her.

she is responding well to it so far to be honest. Regardless of if there is any ADHD at play, she still needs to get up to speed and helped. Maybe in a more tailored way and more driven by how long she’s able to focus.

with me at home, she’s able to focus on her worksheets for 15 minutes a day and enjoys it. She reads every day and enjoys it. So far so good in that sense.

They’re saying she has potential attention issues which may be causing her to not ‘ get ‘ stuff/ retain it properly. They’re looking into that and will contact us regarding next steps.

She's on orange books and literally nothing you've saud suggests she is in any way behind, struggling or not achieving her potential. It honestly sounds like she's doing really really well and the school/tutor are putting ideas into your head about her needing more help so you'll hand over more money.

Oh, YY, I get that - you want her to feel happy!

I think if the tutor does know, then they're really, really not very good. It's not fair on your DD to be criticised for something totally normal.

@IndieRocknRollwhat you’ve written is also what I’ve read online and various sources. She is in a booster for maths and for writing and she’s improved So much. It’s incredible.

i don’t want to put extra pressure on her. At all. I just want to support her. I just want to help her. And I think at home with me, we’ve already made progress in a couple of weeks. Maybe she really does find it hard to focus at school. So she needs and extra few minutes to consolidate it. I was like that ( when I was older ). I never picked up stuff in class. Only learning by doing it after again and consolidating it.

she told me she likes the lessons with her new teacher because she just gets to ‘ do the work ‘ and not just have to listen to the teacher for ages.

The school have said that she’s not learning as they would expect her to and they’re worried she’ll fall more and more behind though. Surely as a parent you try to help in that situation or am I overreacting ?

she’s my first, quite clearly, right ?

They sound absolutely useless. How much are you paying in school fees??

But nothing you've written about her actual capabilities backs up the school suggesting she's not learning or retaining information. She sounds very capable and bright and the fact they have put her into booster groups and suggested she is behind would leave me wondering if they knew anything at all about the attainment of 6 year olds.

@Brewtifulit’s difficult for me to judge what she should and shouldn’t know at her age. I can just go by what the school say about her- of course I research and there’s a lot of info. They’ve made us feel like she’s not doing well and like something isn’t right ( adhd or something like that ).

Some prep schools standard is 2 years ahead of National curriculum, so below their standard could be 1.5 years ahead of National level. Please figure out what the school expectations are and get your DC to library and choose books outside school curriculum and get DC to enjoy reading. Read books from library for fun and even ahead of what is expected level.

Have you had a look at the end of year expectations from the national curriculum. She honestly sounds very bright and nothing about what you've written suggests she needs extra support let alone to the levels she's currently getting. If the school think she has some sort of additional needs then I'd be asking for evidence of this because so far I'm seeing nothing that raises any alarm bells.

She sounds like she's doing fine - very similar to my own 6-year-old. I voted YABU as I think having a tutor is excessive in this situation.

Tutoring a 6 year old.

. Fucking hell.

Based on local practices local 6 yr olds bring tutored are preparing for transitional assessments from prep rep to prep. Those assessments might be for same school or different school. Tutor is most likely basing judgements on what local preps generally expect.