What would you think about this email from school? Sudden change of class teacher.

[Junglemoon]

We had an email yesterday evening from our (primary age) child's headteacher saying that his class teacher Mr Smith had left and that as of tomorrow his teacher would be Mrs Jones. No further details as to what on earth was going on, the email was literally three sentences.

Mrs Jones has been teaching them the last couple of days but our son was told and believed that Mr Smith was just off ill. He and most of his class were very upset in school this morning that there would apparently be no chance to say goodbye to Mr Smith, who is much loved by the children. Neither the children nor the parents were given any notice of this or any preparation.

On top of this the headteacher and the deputy head are apparently away at a conference and unable to answer phone calls or answer any questions and none of the other staff appear to know anything about the issue. The student counsellor was in the classroom this morning trying to reassure the children but she had no answers for them or anyone else.

Some of the parents have phoned and emailed (we are in contact with each other) to express concern and unhappiness about how abrupt this has been and how little information we've been given and the head has replied to an email from one father saying that Mr Smith had left suddenly and she couldn't provide any further details.

Obviously my mind is going all over the place. I can think of a few things that could be sudden and confidential, but if it was something that had to do with the children's safety, the school would have to inform us, wouldn't they? If something awful has happened to Mr Smith I suppose we wouldn't be owed that information but it does seem very hard on the children to just be like 'Mr Smith is gone, you won't see him again, Mrs Jones will be your teacher now'. Which is all they got.

I said the school should address it. Not that the school should go and blab the teacher's private business everywhere.
Addressing it could be "Dear parents, we know that you and your children have been unsettled by the sudden change in class teacher in Yellow class. This was due to unavoidable personal circumstances and we will not be commenting further on these. We ask that you respect the privacy of Mr Smith. In due course we will be asking the children to write a card to Mr Smith as he was unable to say goodbye in person. Mr Smith has been a valued staff member since 2018 and he will be missed by us all. Kind regards Senior Leadership Team."

I don’t know why the OP is getting a hard time here. It’s much more typical for a teacher to go at the end of a term with a goodbye from the children, card and present form parents. Obviously this is more unusual and is probably quite unsettling for the children.

The school could have probably done a one liner without revealing too much or even got the kids to send a card.

And this would just encourage more nosey fuckers calling up and sending emails

How about everyone just accept it and take the opportunity to explain to their children that these things happens and sometimes you never find out why - that’s life.

The notion that parents need a Holly Willoughby style email is laughable

Your job is to teach your child resilience. And that sometimes unexpected things happen in life which we may be surprised or upset about, but we don't always get to know the reason why it happened. Just a breezy "oh, yes, Mr Smith has left now, I'm not sure why, but your new teacher is Mr Jones. How are you finding him? No, I don't know if Mr Smith is coming back, maybe, maybe not. But seeing as you like Mr Jones hopefully he'll be here till the end of the year."
Then just change the subject.

Angsting and gossiping with others about it in front of your child would be a poor example to set.

Good grief. Obviously something unexpected has happened and the school is dealing with it. I don't see why the parents are adding to the drama.

Perhaps the school could have sent the message next week when the senior leadership was around, but perhaps there was a reason they needed to clarify that the other teacher had left.

These things happen and unfortunately children need to deal with it as best they can.

None of your business.

Seems like just another post with little empathy for teachers.

In my experience of teaching, staff lost this quickly was most often due to a nervous breakdown, a serious illness that requires immediate daily intervention, an accident/injury that will require long term rehabilitation or an internal or Police investigation/arrest that requires immediate long term removal from the classroom.

No, it's not ideal for the kids but teachers are just as likely to be hit with life's terrible consequences as everyone else.

Whatever the circumstances, the school is not allowed to divulge personal information. Their hands are likely tied.

If it was the case that he has been involved in something illegal or unethical, these things usually get around pretty quickly.

This comment is unreasonable. It is highly unusual for a teacher to leave mid-term with no notice having been given to parents or children, opportunity to give him a card, present etc. A primary teacher is a hugely important adult in a child's life.

It could be anything and to speculate will only cause unnecessary drama/gossip.
You never know ow he could have been taken seriously ill or had some very bad family news etc
Not everything means a potential child safeguarding issue!

Exactly. It's none of your business. I get that it is disappointing and hard for the children, but for him to leave so abruptly something obviously happened and it has absolutely nothing to do with you or any of the other parents.

I don’t think it is any of your business and you a very likely over thinking this. My Y1 ds is about to have his sixth class teacher as they are all leaving (including one who left in a similar way to yours) and we never get told anything.

I resigned a teaching post once, worked my notice but was expressly forbidden to tell anyone. No idea why. It was common in that school (private) and probably because I was the sixth teacher to leave that year of a staff of 16 and they couldn't recruit replacements.

Absolutely none of your business.
I was in a similar position in that I went off very long term very suddenly.
The reason was my private business and the parents did not have a right to know.
What makes you think you're entitled to know their private business?

Why do you think it’s any of your business why the teacher left? It should absolutely not be in an email why the teacher left. There’s another teacher teaching and you should just be there to reassure your child. All the parents calling and emailing is wild to me. They owe you nothing!

Just to clarify, it may not actually be abrupt at all.

It's not 'highly unusual' in many schools I've worked in, especially if this is how the parents carry on and of course it can depend on the teacher and the reason.

It could be something as simple as a career change, an area move, caring for a sick relative or a mental health issue.

And NONE of that would be told to the parents and children if the teacher wanted it kept private.

Exactly, not that difficult is it!!

I have been the teacher who disappeared suddenly when I was diagnosed with breast cancer during the October half term. My parents were initially sent a letter simply saying that another teacher would be taking over my class with immediate effect.

I would hate to think that I was the subject of gossiping WhatsApp groups and that the office was receiving multiple phone calls/emails discussing my whereabouts when I was dealing with the worst news of my life. When I felt it was appropriate another letter was sent out to explain my sudden absence but my headteacher wouldn't have sent out any information without it being discussed and agreed with me first and it wasn't exactly my priority when preparing to start chemotherapy.

I vanished suddenly and abruptly from my school when my mum died suddenly and unexpectedly.
No-one was owed that information. And I didn’t want to talk about it.

In the end though we did end up telling parents - too many people were commenting and as I had to go back I felt it would be easier if they knew rather than people asking where I’d been (staff knew but not parents). But I was dreading people asking how I was - I was fine as long as I could focus on school.

If he’s not coming back then he won’t have to face the parents like I did so maybe he’d rather people just didn’t know. Which is entirely his choice and not negated by being a teacher.

I hate to say it but you will have been.
Some people are extremely nosey fuckers and think that teachers aren’t owed a private life. We had people actually complain because my DS’s class would have 2 teachers, apparently teachers shouldn’t be allowed to go part time 🤷‍♀️

There's loads of reasons why he could have left suddenly, none of which you nor any other parent need to be privy too unless it's a safeguarding concern concerning your child and you would have been told (and told it in confidence).

He's gone. He could've just not turned up one day and then never accepted communication since.

Or he simply said he can't work there anymore and didn't even give a reason? Or he did and it's something very serious. Or fairly minor.

They can't tell you the reasons why he's gone as it's confidential or they may have no idea.

It is especially disruptive and a bit upsetting when it's in education but people do just walk out of their jobs or are fired for misconduct (non safeguarding related) and nobody ever finds out what happened.

Or staff might do but would never tell clients (in this case parents).

I was a teacher and also a live in boarding houseparent. I disappeared literally overnight. Toxicity in the school led me to burnout which manifested unignorably overnight one night. I drove home at 5am and never went back. I’m sure some pupils wondered what the fuck was going on. None of their business.

Maybe they've won the lottery? There is an appeal for a 181 million ticket purchased in Yorkshire I think 🤞

As others have said this is a teaching moment for you as a parent for your children about adapting to and managing unexpected change

There are some circumstances in which as difficult as it is, no goodbye is possible. One of the teachers in DS1's school left suddenly and we later learned he'd got a terminal cancer diagnosis and had died less than 6 months later.

Resilience isn't "just getting over it". Resilience is built when the adults step in and support children with their emotions when something hard happens. Yes, it's really sad that Mr Smith left and he couldn't say goodbye. No, we don't know why, because that might be something he doesn't want to share right now. It's ok to be sad and to miss him. You will get used to Mrs Jones in time, she might be a good teacher too. It's normalising that life doesn't always go to plan, and this might make them feel sad, angry or upset, but those feelings are an understandable response.

Parents can support their children to do a goodbye ritual for their teacher if that feels helpful for the child. It might not for all of the children. Maybe some of them didn't even like him!

What doesn't build resilience is getting mad at everything that upsets your child, especially if it's entirely outside of yours and others' control, and demanding the school do some elaborate process to try to "fix" it. The school aren't being cruel and thoughtless - they are informing parents about a difficult event and they expect parents to do the parenting and support their children through it, which is exactly what parents are there for.