10month Baby and my mood

[Whatissleeppp]

I have a beautiful 10month baby girl.

From 6 weeks she would sleep through.. 930ish pm until 8ish am.

There would be the odd night she maybe wouldnt.. teething, etc but it was a handful at that.

Since 2 weeks ago she's started teething again but this time her top 2 teeth, they seem to have been the worst. She wouldnt settle so we brought her into our bed where she settled.quickly.

She started sitting up around the same time so we stopped putting her in her next to me cot and put her in her big girl cot. Now she will not sleep unless shes in our bed. She sleeps 930 to 2 and then its a battle. This morning from 3 - 6 I battled with her to go to sleep then ended up taking her in next to me. She just loves to stand in her cot. I always pop her back down but I have started getting angry as she cries until I take her to my bed. Today I declared she was uninvited to mothers day lunch on sunday and off to nursery next month instead of june. I feel awful but im so frustrated and it feels like such a shock because she slept through from 6 weeks.

We got in from baby club not long ago and I popped her in her cot so I could get her dirtiest bottles together and pop to the loo and she stood in her cot and screamed the whole time. I ended up in the bathroom, in tears and shouted "shut thr fuck up" I feel awful and ashamed. I just dont know what to do anymore. I dont understand any of it and why thr big change at this age.

Any help I am desperate. And I hate getting this angry but my god its infuriating.

Sorry to clarify, she isnt sleeping now because of teething. She wakes, stands in her cot and then cries. She sleeps instantly when brought to my bed but she fights sleep in her cot so much.

Also at nap times she refuses to sleep in her cot and will only contact nap. When popped in her cot she wakes instantly and then nap window has passed. Its this bloody cot and im so done.

What do you mean when you say “you’re done”?

The feelings you’re having are completely normal, so please don’t beat yourself up about them. Being a mum can be relentless and exhausting, and there are times when the exhaustion and constant demands can become overwhelming. When that happens, it’s not unusual to react in ways you later wish you hadn’t. it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or a bad mum.

What support do you have?

So she has always slept next to you until you just moved her to her own room and cot? We did this transition earlier and nighttime was ok though they wouldn't nap in the cot in the day. We had a single bed in the room with the cot so I slept there from 3 months. Can you do something similar then you are in the room which might be comforting but she is still in the new cot? Maybe even mattress on floor next to cot to start with? Or cot in your room? Might ease the transition and also skip trying to use the cot in the daytime and definitely not when she isn't sleepy - we had a separate playpen for the situation you described about chores and nipping to the loo

Get a baby wrap so you can carry her around? Cosleep? Leave the washing up? Go back to work earlier?

Everyone gets frustrated but remember: you have options, she doesn’t.

It's peak time for separation anxiety - she needs more reassurance right now not to be pushed into "independence"

She's literally just learned that you and she are separate beings and now you could leave her.

Think of sleep development as a spiral rather than a linear process - sometimes you are on top and it's great and then you go round the bottom and it goes to shit. Unfortunately it's pretty normal for this age.

I have been cosleeping for two weeks now and I dont want it to be a permanent thing as I dont sleep right and it isnt a habit I want to start.

I have a baby carrier and do carry her around... I just want 5 mins to go to the bloody loo.

Leave the washing up? You think im getting frustrated cause of household chores? No i want to fucking sleep and pee alone. The house can wait.

I dont know what reassurance I can give. The only time I leave her is for the toilet during the night and she screams for me to hurry back. Im up everytime she cries. I bring her to my bed. I dont have a playpen so constantly watching her and playing. I just want to pee alone and sleep again. A few nights ago the room was spinning as I was so exhausted. I feel awful swearing and shouting. I just reached my limit of screaming for no reason.

I’ll get my coat.

What? Why say that?

As the parent to 2 non sleepers (woke very 60-90 mins until they were 2), I entirely understand the frustration. I ended up putting a bed in my eldest’s bedroom, and co sleeping with her in there, then gradually retreated once she was asleep. They do go through a regression and seperation anxiety at 8-10 months, so whilst frustrating it’s also incredibly normal.

The good thing is that you know she’s slept well before so hopefully it’s just a blip, and then she’ll be back to normal.

In the meantime, the best you can do is roll with it - ask your partner or a family member to watch her so you can have a little time to yourself if possible, do what you need to do to get through the days / nights, and appreciate its short lived, and you will be able to wee in peace one day! (Although my 4 year old still likes to barge in and ask questions but I’m sure we’ll get there one day 🫠)

She’s 10 months old and wants to be close! You are not ‘creating a bad habit’ by co sleeping. It’s natural, it’s comforting and she sleeps better. It’s what she needs right now. I have co slept with mine until they were around 12-18 months and they went into their own bed, they are independent sleepers now.

Sleep deprivation floors the best of us OP. For now, survival mode. Calpol before bed, and at first wake until teeth cut.

If you have a DP, night on, night off for sleep. Whoever gets the night off gets the spare room or couch.

If you don't have a DP, or even if you do, cosleeping naps for the intermediate to catch up on ZZZ.

The cot could be the problem - banging off the bars. Have you tried a travel cot? Mesh sides better sometimes.

Introduce a fave blanket or plushie for the long term gain. Helps settle them in the toddler phase.

Warm babies sleep better so make sure she's not throwing blankets off.

If you're touched out from not getting a break, look for a sitter or ask a friend / DP to take a day off work to give you a day off childcare.

If you're having a shit day, winning formula is car nap + drive through mini mcflurry.

Cosleeping isn't a bad habit as long as sleeping is involved. Most babies & toddlers go through a patch of it.

Chin up, this will pass.

Thank you. I wish she didjt sleep as well earlier as this now feels a shock. Me and dp have decided to move her cot into our bedroom for a couple of nights. I have been sleeping in her nursery. Well trying to. I like cosleeping but I get a bad sleep as she likes to he very close to me and I somehow end up nearly falling out of the bed. This morning I nearly fell out. I move her over and she somehow wriggles back and pushes me to the edge of the bed lol she sometimes would come in for a late morning nap so I am not 100% against it but I dont want it to br a permanent thing.

I love her and feel awful at how I have acted. I have made sure she is fine and have left the room for 5 minutes whilst she has been crying but the situation is the same when I return. Tonight I might not try and hurry up back to sleep but take it slow, go downstairs even, pmay with some toys and then tire her out and maybe she will go to her big cot. Awk I don't know I miss sleep lol

We all get frustrated. Sleep deprivation is so hard. Try a few things to help but otherwise just know it will pass. Sending love and solidarity

She’s going through huge developmental steps right now. I found 11 - 16 months the hardest stage so far, we had hourly wake ups at night and DS needed constant attention. Try to get someone else looking after her sometimes so that you get a break, but I think you just need to ride it out and accept it as a normal stage of her development.

You're doing your best, and your baby is loved and cared for. Having a few grounding statements to centre yourself on when things feel intense helps. And better to leave in the cot crying than get disregulated yourself - you have to be calm to give calm. ❤️ We've all been there, and if you need to step out of the room to take a few deep breaths then do.

A bed rail on your side of the bed too makes cosleeping easier. Less chance of you falling out of the bed when baby gets pushy for space.

I think it’s sometimes harder when you’re used to them sleeping - my friends with good sleepers found the nights they slept badly so awful but I think it you’ve a bad sleeper you get used to it 😅

Soemtimes you’ve just got to roll with the punches! My 2 year old often comes into bed and it baffles me how someone so small can take up sooo much room! She also has to be curled under my armpit like a little pet cat. I get through it by just snugging her close and reminding myself one day she won’t want this and I’ll miss the cuddles!

Thank you all. I still feel awful with how I reacted but reassuring it isnt just me. My partner is obv not resting but being at home all day with baby and then having broken sleep is hard. I sometimes envy him going to work. I love my little girl so much she is perfect. I just havent had this little sleep before and I am struggling sometimes as I have been feeling sick with it. Literally. We are going tk see gow it goes tonight and maybe move her cot into our room. See if that helps. We have discussed bedrails too so cosleeping might be our only option if she isnt happy in cot. Let's see how weekend goes. Her swimming is cancelled on Sunday morning so there is no early morning wake ups, we can all go back to bed if needs be.

Just keep her in your bed if she sleeps there. Why are you battling and making things difficult for you both ?
she’s a baby and she needs you.
it’s only for a season.
I kept all of my three in with me. I bought a massive massive bed. They all want their own bed eventually. Still have my youngest in. Zero regrets. Zero tears.

My first was a good sleeper in her cot until 11 months when she could stand, and similar she would just stand and cry until we co slept.

we put a double bed in her room and one of us co slept with her, DH ended up mostly co sleeping because I would wake everytime she moved and he wouldn’t so everyone slept well.

then start to leave her asleep and return to your own bed. Maybe not best advice for instant solve but I couldn’t solve it.

a bad night when they usually sleep well is so hard somehow. My second is 11 months now as wakes every 90 mins always has and it’s my new normal.

I mean I don’t want to sound like a dick but 2 weeks is literally nothing.
Shes slept through for 9 months and you’re at your wits end because she’s probably feeling a bit unwell for only 2 weeks?

As @NotSmallButFunSize says she is struggling with separation and needs comfort and security. Broken sleep is difficult to cope with but unfortunately goes with the territory during the first few years, the fact that she’s slept so well from 6 weeks is unusual, sorry. There’s nothing wrong with cosleeping, get comfy and go with it, she won’t be in your bed forever, but it’s not a ‘bad’ habit, it’s what she needs to feel secure.

oh, also, you’re not going to pee alone until she starts school. Sorry

Can you alternate co sleeping with your partner and/or have him get up early with her and let you get a couple of hours uninterrupted? My eldest was a terrible sleeper and a proper snuggler and my DH used to take him into the spare room at 4am so I could get at least 3-4hrs uninterrupted before he went to work, then once I stopped night feeds we started alternating who slept with him and it was absolutely life-saving for me. I loved the cuddles but I absolutely could not sleep properly with a wiggly toddler next to me. I am so envious of people who can!

I’m getting 5 hours of broken sleep a night so I feel what you’re saying. But in defence with my previous good sleeper a bad night was really hard and couldn’t moan to anyone as there is no sympathy lol. Maybe because it’s a shock to the system and no coping strategies.

fighting co sleeping is a way to loose precious sleeping time