10month Baby and my mood

[Whatissleeppp]

I have a beautiful 10month baby girl.

From 6 weeks she would sleep through.. 930ish pm until 8ish am.

There would be the odd night she maybe wouldnt.. teething, etc but it was a handful at that.

Since 2 weeks ago she's started teething again but this time her top 2 teeth, they seem to have been the worst. She wouldnt settle so we brought her into our bed where she settled.quickly.

She started sitting up around the same time so we stopped putting her in her next to me cot and put her in her big girl cot. Now she will not sleep unless shes in our bed. She sleeps 930 to 2 and then its a battle. This morning from 3 - 6 I battled with her to go to sleep then ended up taking her in next to me. She just loves to stand in her cot. I always pop her back down but I have started getting angry as she cries until I take her to my bed. Today I declared she was uninvited to mothers day lunch on sunday and off to nursery next month instead of june. I feel awful but im so frustrated and it feels like such a shock because she slept through from 6 weeks.

We got in from baby club not long ago and I popped her in her cot so I could get her dirtiest bottles together and pop to the loo and she stood in her cot and screamed the whole time. I ended up in the bathroom, in tears and shouted "shut thr fuck up" I feel awful and ashamed. I just dont know what to do anymore. I dont understand any of it and why thr big change at this age.

Any help I am desperate. And I hate getting this angry but my god its infuriating.

Its so common for them to need us, I think it's amazing you got all that time of her sleeping through already!! None of mine slept through until well over a year. If she sleeps when you bring her in with you, I'd let her.

Do you have any tips for how you got your baby in the cot sleeping alone to begin with? We’re at 4 months and cosleep every night and every nap is a contact nap.

At 4 months my baby is still awake every 2 hours (at best!). If I’m still awake at 4am I’m allowed a hot chocolate and to buy the contents of one of my online shopping baskets.

For sleep deprivation in the day, I co-sleep her first and last nap. I also drink a coffee after the first nap. Caffeine has a big effect on me so this helps.

Your partner needs to give you a few minutes a day, whether that’s them getting up with the baby first thing or taking the baby for a bit after work. I am obsessed with my baby but we all need at least one pee a day in peace!

Oh I’m not saying it’s not hard! I’ve gone through all different phases with mine, one sleeping terribly at first and then getting better, the other in reverse and waking multiple times all night long, then sleeping through for a while only to wake every single night to do a wee etc!!
I just mean such a short stint of poor sleep or temperature is usually just an underlying niggle and it’s like it’s shit but what else can you do but roll with it. If not world ending if your baby is suddenly wakeful for a very short period.

This is what I was getting at earlier. Both of mine were terrible sleepers, but it just completely becomes normal. I am so used to coping on very little, broken sleep, that I feel worse after a good night when my body realises what it’s been missing! My friends with good sleepers were completely floored by a run of bad nights. Your body just adjusts to your normal!

OP I think you need to acknowledge how lucky you’ve been with her sleep. Mine is 17 months and has never slept through. A bit of perspective might help you, it’s been 2 weeks.
“We can all go back to bed if needs”-do not do this. You need to have a consistent wake up time for babies, otherwise night sleep will get affected.
Maybe she needs to reduce her naps so she is tireder for bedtime? Sleep needs reduce as they get towards 12 months so very likely she isn’t needing as much sleep within 24 hours.
And why do you need to put her in the cot whilst you go to the toilet; just put her on the floor. Ofc she wants to be near you.

@Whatissleeppp you’ve been lucky that she’s slept through from such a young age, my daughter never slept through and still doesn’t at 4 years old.

I completely understand the frustration, we used to do shift patterns so we both had a chunk of 5 hours uninterrupted sleep.

I totally get it, I felt the same with all of mine and yelled as you did multiple times.

Honestly, you are reassuring her by being there, even if she is still crying. Put some ear plugs in so you can cuddle but drown the noise a bit, co sleep if it works - it's about survival. If you need to leave the room and take some breaths, do that. It's important to keep you all safe when you are just totally done in.

My worst sleeper now lies in bed til God knows when given the chance - it honestly does end!!

Because she's crawling and opening drawers and pulling herself up on the bath. I used to give her loo roll to distract her until she started eating it last week! I sometimes bring her highchair upstairs but she doesnt like being in that so screams until shes out. She just wants to move, hates being restrained.

I know i do feel we had it incredibly good with her sleeping through. But know i can't speak to anyone in real life as their sleepless nights have got to triumph mine and I cant complain.

My first born did not sleep for the first year of their life. Every 45 minute waker. My 2nd born was a brilliant sleeper until a short regression around 9 months. Both times the sleep deprivation was a killer. IME it doesn't matter how long you're sleep deprived for, or if you have it easier or harder than other mums. Sleep deprived is sleep deprived.

If a poster mentioned that a baby’s Dad had shouted, ‘Shut the Fuck up’ at a 10 month old baby, there would be uproar on here. In fact, there is a current thread where a Dad was angry with a toddler for not going back to sleep. He did not swear. A lot of posters were telling the OP to kick him out. Telling a baby to , ‘Shut the Fuck up’, is completely out of order. If you carry on swearing at her, she will start to parrot it back and Nursery will become aware.
You need to stop yourself now. It is abusive and wrong and a slippery slope. She is a baby and you are the adult. Imagine there is a camera pointed at you and learn to control yourself. It is not a pretty image however tired you are. Many parents have worse sleep problems and have to get up and go to work in the morning. The Mum in the other thread had a toddler and 4 month old twins. Swearing at a baby is abusive. Do you want to be an abusive mother to a baby?

I know its out of order. I havent defended it once. I shouted it in the bathroom.. rooms away. She probably did hear over her screaming. Not right and not good.

This is the current thread I mentioned. There is a lot of advice and tips for coping with middle of the night tiredness. It might be worth a read.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5502513-aibu-about-how-dh-handled-our-toddler-at-2am?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

Thank you

Ignore this Holier than Thou person - I shouted it directly at my 13m old once, she is not an abused child and we have a lovely relationship.

You're a human being being pushed to your limit - it's judgey bastards like this poster that makes mums who are struggling reluctant to be honest and ask for help.

It's clearly not ideal or the kind of parent you want to be but calling you abusive will never be helpful. Now you have recognised what's going on hopefully you can get some support in coming up with some better strategies to manage it

Well let her do that? We've always let our daughter move around as she wishes in the house. She needs movement to help physical development and learn to walk. Will help her sleep to, the move she moves!

Yes, they do need to move at this age, they need to explore and develop their new skill. I think it’s worth baby proofing the house as much as possible because the ‘moving around and taking everything they can without being able to use their brains yet’ stage will continue for many more months. Lock the drawers which contain dangerous stuff, put chemicals in cupboards out of reach, etc, but otherwise I’d just let her get on with it.