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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Employment law question

32 replies

Nickee67 · 11/03/2026 07:32

Had to resign to flee DV from a colleague- matter is under investigation (with my former organisation) prompted by police involvement. I would like to return to the organisation at a later date once the matters are concluded. Would that create any issues from an employer point of view?

I initiated early reconciliation with ACAS but would not want to take to tribunal because I feel it would completely destroy the relationship with my former employer and any prospective of me returning.

I don't know- any advice appreciated!

Thanks

OP posts:
EvangelineTheNightStar · 11/03/2026 07:35

were/are you in a relationship with colleague?
are you safe at home?

randomchap · 11/03/2026 07:35

DV from a former colleague? Was this colleague also your partner?

Sorry but I think more information is needed. And maybe post on the legal board instead

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 11/03/2026 07:35

Sorry, I'm a bit confused. You say DV, so were you living with one of your colleagues?

Can you also clarify why you started the early conciliation process through ACAS? What was the grievance against your employer, exactly?

HairwEGo · 11/03/2026 07:42

If nothing happens/no outcome from the investigation and the ex-colleague who you state you fled domestic violence from still works there, would you want to work there?

We had a situation once, a massive employer where a colleague confided that a previous abuser of theirs had just started a new job in another department. They wanted us to sack the other person. We reviewed it, but there had been no police charges or formal confirmation, so really sadly it was word against word and we couldn't do anything about it.

EvangelineTheNightStar · 11/03/2026 07:42

And also you say you resigned but would like to return, am assuming you’d have to apply if a post came up? Is that what you mean by contacting ACAS? If they dont offer another job?

LilyBunch25 · 11/03/2026 07:45

I'm sorry I don't understand? DV in a workplace? So the colleague was also your partner or a relative you lived with?

Nickee67 · 11/03/2026 07:46

sorry yes a personal relationship as well as being a colleague - I didn't raise a grievance just made disclosures and then I reported to police who then involved the employer and then the issue is there was workplace bullying/ intimidation to prevent me from reporting - so some elements are workplace issues plus the sector we are in there is an element of transferable risk to clients hence why it's also being treated as an employment matter

hope that's clearer - I'll also post on the legal board thank you

OP posts:
Nickee67 · 11/03/2026 07:53

EvangelineTheNightStar · 11/03/2026 07:42

And also you say you resigned but would like to return, am assuming you’d have to apply if a post came up? Is that what you mean by contacting ACAS? If they dont offer another job?

yes I'm wondering if because I resigned to get away from the abuse if my former employer would be preclude me from applying due to what has happened or if I can apply freely - or if I can informally discuss with my former HR about returning there at a later point with their support- if that is a reasonable request given the circumstances of my resignation

OP posts:
MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 11/03/2026 07:57

If they knew that your partner was violent towards you and sought to prevent you from reporting that, would you actually want to go back to that kind of environment anyway?

Nickee67 · 11/03/2026 08:02

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 11/03/2026 07:57

If they knew that your partner was violent towards you and sought to prevent you from reporting that, would you actually want to go back to that kind of environment anyway?

my ex-colleague who was the abuser was the one who was preventing me from reporting to the organisation through intimidation - so the organisation did not know until after I resigned and was safe. I only disclosed to the organisation after I had resigned due to the threats etc

OP posts:
ExtraOnions · 11/03/2026 08:03

You have resigned, they are under no (legal) obligation to take you back. They.cannot stop you from applying though.

This would not go anywhere at Tribunal. Firstly the DV was at home, abc nothing to do with your employer. Secondly, you didn’t raise a grievence whilst you were there, so have not tried to resolve using internal processes.

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 11/03/2026 08:17

Nickee67 · 11/03/2026 08:02

my ex-colleague who was the abuser was the one who was preventing me from reporting to the organisation through intimidation - so the organisation did not know until after I resigned and was safe. I only disclosed to the organisation after I had resigned due to the threats etc

Oh ok. Sorry, I'm still confused though. If your employer didn't know, why exactly did you initiate the early conciliation process?

Brightlittlecanary · 11/03/2026 08:21

Op, you need to seperate your personal life from work

you have resigned, it is no difference to any other resignation. You can apply for roles , you won’t be precluded, but it will be normal process and the best person gets the job.

you are positioning it like the employer is at fault as your colleague was a bison you. The correct position is your partner was abusing you, the fact he as your partner is the dominant issue here.

you can of course call gnem and speak to them.

Catcatcatcatcat · 11/03/2026 08:22

On what grounds have you lodged your EC claim?

Brightlittlecanary · 11/03/2026 08:23

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 11/03/2026 08:17

Oh ok. Sorry, I'm still confused though. If your employer didn't know, why exactly did you initiate the early conciliation process?

Im also confused on this, your employer was not aware and it was your partner, how is the company at fault?

Nickee67 · 11/03/2026 08:33

yeah good question- so we were co workers essentially

my thinking at the time of contacting ACAS was because I was an ex employee they really did not have to look into any issues I raised. So I thought acas would help me get them to look into the concerns.

For back ground, the abuse started privately and went into work because we worked in same office- and because he was bullying me at work I couldn't do my job properly and couldn't tell anyone as he was more senior.

I tried to raise the issue with freedom to speak up and HR before I resigned and sent emails but thought no one would believe me as a junior staff so I just resigned.

I guess after I resigned I wanted my former employer to look into the concerns, not because they were at fault, but because there was abuse from their current employee - which has ended up being a criminal investigation anyway no so they are having to look into it ---long story but that's the summary of it

OP posts:
MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 11/03/2026 08:37

Nickee67 · 11/03/2026 08:33

yeah good question- so we were co workers essentially

my thinking at the time of contacting ACAS was because I was an ex employee they really did not have to look into any issues I raised. So I thought acas would help me get them to look into the concerns.

For back ground, the abuse started privately and went into work because we worked in same office- and because he was bullying me at work I couldn't do my job properly and couldn't tell anyone as he was more senior.

I tried to raise the issue with freedom to speak up and HR before I resigned and sent emails but thought no one would believe me as a junior staff so I just resigned.

I guess after I resigned I wanted my former employer to look into the concerns, not because they were at fault, but because there was abuse from their current employee - which has ended up being a criminal investigation anyway no so they are having to look into it ---long story but that's the summary of it

Edited

That's not really what ACAS is for, and you should have perhaps raised a grievance against your ex after resigning.

However, I'm still a bit confused because you say that you didn't tell the organisation but you also mentioned that you emailed HR about the situation. So it still isn't very clear to me as to whether your organisation knew or not?

whatthehelldowecare · 11/03/2026 08:39

Im an employment lawyer, this will go nowhere. They are under no obligation to give you your job back but you can absolutely apply in the future. Would be worth a chat to HR, but again, there is nothing requiring them to help you out

KittyStanton · 11/03/2026 08:41

I just read a very similar post on Reddit.

does your employer have a DV policy?

Nickee67 · 11/03/2026 08:42

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 11/03/2026 08:37

That's not really what ACAS is for, and you should have perhaps raised a grievance against your ex after resigning.

However, I'm still a bit confused because you say that you didn't tell the organisation but you also mentioned that you emailed HR about the situation. So it still isn't very clear to me as to whether your organisation knew or not?

I emailed HR and the freedom to speak up guardian a few days before I resigned or a week or so before and they emailed back so I said like please can I raise something in the email...didn't say what then when they asked me what about I backed off...i guess i was concerned the organisation would not believe me for many reasons one of which was his seniority

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Nickee67 · 11/03/2026 08:43

Catcatcatcatcat · 11/03/2026 08:22

On what grounds have you lodged your EC claim?

victimisation (from him not the employer)

OP posts:
Nickee67 · 11/03/2026 08:44

KittyStanton · 11/03/2026 08:41

I just read a very similar post on Reddit.

does your employer have a DV policy?

yes maybe that was me- they do I believe

OP posts:
Nickee67 · 11/03/2026 08:46

whatthehelldowecare · 11/03/2026 08:39

Im an employment lawyer, this will go nowhere. They are under no obligation to give you your job back but you can absolutely apply in the future. Would be worth a chat to HR, but again, there is nothing requiring them to help you out

ok great thank you just wanted to test out HR's receptivity to future employment opportunities afraid of blacklisting - but will not pursue further I think - thank you

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Catcatcatcatcat · 11/03/2026 08:48

I think you are talking about an NHS Trust?

There is nothing to stop you from applying for NHS jobs in future, although personally I’d probably try to avoid the Trust you worked for.

ExtraOnions · 11/03/2026 08:50

Nickee67 · 11/03/2026 08:42

I emailed HR and the freedom to speak up guardian a few days before I resigned or a week or so before and they emailed back so I said like please can I raise something in the email...didn't say what then when they asked me what about I backed off...i guess i was concerned the organisation would not believe me for many reasons one of which was his seniority

You have made an assumption about the organisation, without giving them the opportunity to do anything. As an employer they have done nothing wrong in this situation.