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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask 16yo to take his baby brother swimming? How strict are pools?

223 replies

Swimmin · 09/03/2026 17:26

Hi everyone, baby is only 8 weeks so a while yet but just thinking of the future.

If someone were to take him swimming he needs supervised by a person 16+ how strict are they on that? Do they ask to see ID? Some under 16s look older than their age…

i have 16, 14, 10 and 5 year old also. younger 2 need me

would it be U to give money to my 16 to take him to the baby pool? but i’d say my 16 year old looks younger than his age

OP posts:
Coffeeandbooks88 · 09/03/2026 18:35

springawakeningss · 09/03/2026 18:28

Me either but if you read back it makes sense. I think the horrified posts are by people thinking she's just sending the son and baby off on their own?

Show quote history

I still wouldn't ask the teenager. It is OPs baby.

30minutesaday · 09/03/2026 18:40

Why don't you go to a pool with a cafe and ask teen to stay in the cafe with baby whilst you swim with the other DC?

Original poster
Swimmin · 09/03/2026 18:48

SouthLondonMum22 · 09/03/2026 18:27

Is this the 16 year old who does nothing but game and vape in his bedroom?

No. Absolutely not.

He doesn’t vape

OP posts:
Bunnycat101 · 09/03/2026 18:55

I don’t think the suggestion is as terrible as some are making out but it’s not ideal. OP would be supervising the 10 and 5 year old and the 16 year old go to the infants pool (it sounds like there is one for under 4s). However, realistically the baby is probably only going to manage 15/20 minutes before getting cold. She’d need to trust her son to be sensible to take the baby out and get it changed or do a nappy change if needed. I used to love the actual swimming part with mine but hated the changing part.

I think the 16 year old would be better waiting in the cafe with the baby while the OP takes the 5 and 10 year old swimming. The OP could then take the baby during school hours.

firstofallimadelight · 09/03/2026 18:57

Whilst I don’t think it’s a terrible idea i wouldn’t do it. I’d take the baby during school time and if you can get a babysitter take older ones at weekend. Or all go together but stay together and your elder DS helps with kids with you supervising overall

igelkott2026 · 09/03/2026 18:58

So a 16 year old can't look after their sibling in a pool but most of the lifeguards are 16?

I think the outrage on here is a bit overblown.

However, if you choose to have lots of kids, that's your choice. It isn't fair to expect the oldest sibling to be a surrogate parent. Your choice, you solve any problems.

faerylights · 09/03/2026 18:59

So a 16 year old can't look after their sibling in a pool but most of the lifeguards are 16?

The lifeguards are trained, though. They're not just random 16 year olds!

KittyStanton · 09/03/2026 19:00

Some bizarre responses here. Lifeguards can be 16! My DD was 16 when she started lifeguarding.

Tryagain26 · 09/03/2026 19:00

I would say it's very unfair on the 16 year old

faerylights · 09/03/2026 19:01

KittyStanton · 09/03/2026 19:00

Some bizarre responses here. Lifeguards can be 16! My DD was 16 when she started lifeguarding.

But again, lifeguards are trained.

YourWinter · 09/03/2026 19:01

A 16 year old swimming with a very competent 12 year old is not at all comparable to a teenager managing a baby. Utterly reckless.

Tableforjoan · 09/03/2026 19:02

faerylights · 09/03/2026 18:59

So a 16 year old can't look after their sibling in a pool but most of the lifeguards are 16?

The lifeguards are trained, though. They're not just random 16 year olds!

Yup trained and certified.

Also mostly still watched by actual adults who are also trained.

at our small pool is four lifeguards who rotate at the side of the pool plus the manger in the office poolside who’s also a lifeguard and honestly I can’t say I’ve seen a lifeguard who looked 16 at least anyway. That’s without all the other staff who happen to be about which mostly will of once been lifeguards or first aid trained.

mrssunshinexxx · 09/03/2026 19:03

Why don’t you all go on a weekend

Morepositivemum · 09/03/2026 19:04

I think the 16 year old would be better waiting in the cafe with the baby while the OP takes the 5 and 10 year old swimming. The OP could then take the baby during school hours.

I think this is a good idea

Franpie · 09/03/2026 19:04

Swimmin · 09/03/2026 17:38

It's 1 parent 2 children for under 8s but even though my 10 year old is 10 he's suspected ASD and there's no way I could have the younger 3.

I would like to take the children swimming when it's a bit warmee so baby will be 4+ months

Even if he took 5yo I'm not sure he'd be allowed because even tho he's 16 he looks younger than his age so in asking how they do it and know that there 16 or over

Oh, so do you mean that you’ll all be there together but your 16 yo needs to be classified as the other supervising adult due to having 3 other children?

If so I can’t see there being a problem. But maybe have a photo of his passport or birth certificate on your phone just in case.

Westfacing · 09/03/2026 19:05

Bunnycat101 · 09/03/2026 18:55

I don’t think the suggestion is as terrible as some are making out but it’s not ideal. OP would be supervising the 10 and 5 year old and the 16 year old go to the infants pool (it sounds like there is one for under 4s). However, realistically the baby is probably only going to manage 15/20 minutes before getting cold. She’d need to trust her son to be sensible to take the baby out and get it changed or do a nappy change if needed. I used to love the actual swimming part with mine but hated the changing part.

I think the 16 year old would be better waiting in the cafe with the baby while the OP takes the 5 and 10 year old swimming. The OP could then take the baby during school hours.

There's also a 14 year-old in the mix.

Cornonthecob17 · 09/03/2026 19:06

I cannot understand the outcry and vehemence from some posters here.

OP, if you feel he is responsible and sensible, you’ll be close by and I assume there is lifeguards on duty, I don’t see the problem here. Assuming he is happy to do it. It may be a lovely bonding time for them considering the age gap and gives you a chance to focus on the other children.

And yeah I’m one of those that had a kid as a teenager. In fact I had two! And took them both swimming together!

Bushmillsbabe · 09/03/2026 19:10

I would send the 16 year old with the 10 year old. At our pool children over 8 can go in themselves if confident swimmer.
And you take the younger 2 into the little pool

purpleandgreenstars · 09/03/2026 19:10

Oh I remember you. Everyone piled on you. Bloody nasty Mumsnet is sometimes.

You take all the children who are willing to go swimming in the main pool with you and baby also and then you say “ right everyone into the baby pool now as we have all gone in the big pool for all of you” and then you go in baby pool and all of you bond and then you say to the baby “right back into the big pool now as all your older siblings have come in the baby pool with you” and repeat depending on how long you are in there for

you got this mama

Ladypartsproblem · 09/03/2026 19:11

YABVU . The baby is 8 weeks old 😳

Vodka1 · 09/03/2026 19:14

Tbh, seeing as you have so many people saying don't do it. Are you still gonna do it?

Never sure with these kinds of posts.

How does your son feel about it? If he's comfortable and confident and doesn't mind then its your decision alone really isn't it?

Personally I wouldn't be paying him, why you bribing him to look at the baby? If he doesn't want to then he doesn't want to.

Is going swimming that important to you? Why couldn't he stay at home with the baby whilst you take the younger ones for an hour?

End of the day if your happy, he's happy and the pools happy - then it is what it is and you don't need anyone to tell you it's okay. But I guess one of those aren't the case, as you've posted

Nattyz1256 · 09/03/2026 19:21

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Catza · 09/03/2026 19:22

Swimmin · 09/03/2026 17:38

It's 1 parent 2 children for under 8s but even though my 10 year old is 10 he's suspected ASD and there's no way I could have the younger 3.

I would like to take the children swimming when it's a bit warmee so baby will be 4+ months

Even if he took 5yo I'm not sure he'd be allowed because even tho he's 16 he looks younger than his age so in asking how they do it and know that there 16 or over

Does he have ID? If he is 16+ and they allow 16+ to supervise siblings, I don't really understand what you are concerned about?

I am going to leave aside the other issue and just focus on what you asked before someone comes at me.

Vodka1 · 09/03/2026 19:22

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Oh, what a bitch you are. Nasty that was

Original poster
Swimmin · 09/03/2026 19:22

i don’t test him as a surrogate parent the most he does ‘parenting’ wise is watfh baby while i do bedtime for my 5 and 10 yo
then i want him to keep his room tidy and he has certain chores but that’s normal 16 yo things

he is happy to do it and swimming is that important but i don’t drive so there’s not a lot to do apart from park which gets boring and only if it’s not raining as 10 yo won’t go then and he hates soft play its loud and busy so i want us to get out the house esp during the holidays during weekends isn’t a big deal as usually they are tired and wanna chill

sitting in the cafe is a good idea and if baby is asleep it doesnt matter but if he is awake he won’t happily sit in his oram as he hates it atm

OP posts: