Husband wants me to think I’m crazy

[Irissnow85]

Husband and I are at opposite ends of the worry scale, and I feel that he tries to bully me out of worrying about anything. I do over worry sometimes I’ll admit it, but it doesn’t mean that everything I express a concern about is automatically wrong. I need to know if today’s incident is me being unreasonable or him…..

we’ve just moved house and my sons trampoline is on a concrete slab in the garden.

Husband puts the jumping bit on the frame but not the safety net around it. Son is wild on the trampoline does flips and throws himself about with abandon.

Husband announces to son he can go on trampoline, I interrupt and say have you put the safety net on the trampoline though as it’s on concrete (son is very accident prone and only had a cut on his head glued at minor injuries very recently) to this husband is all sweating under his breath and storming off.

Really fed up of this trying to make out like I’m a crazed lunatic.

I’m willing to hear if allowing a child to jump on a trampoline placed on concrete without the net they include for safety is crazy though, please tell me the truth.

Your DH is an idiot
trampolines are a major cause of injury and a+e attendance for kids

Nobody in their right mind would think you’re unreasonable.

Your husband is an idiot. And lazy. And gaslighting you by the sounds of it!

You are not crazy. Your husband is foolish, reckless and lazy.

Absolutely not unreasonable. Of course safety is important, especially when it comes to your child. I would 100% be saying same as you.

You are completely right on this but do bear in mind that living with an overworrier is incredibly draining and would shorten anyone’s patience. He is wrong about the trampoline but you make it much less likely that he will take you seriously or have patience to listen to your concerns if on other minor stuff you are overly anxious. I would really focus on that as your anxiety will be changing the relationship.

Of course the safety net needs to be in place, you were totally right. Is this how your dh reacts when you point out something sensible? He sounds like a sulky teenager. Was he really encouraging your son to go on a trampoline without a net? I would be furious with him putting my child at risk like that. It must be exhausting being the only parent with an idiot like him to monitor

Yeah I had to pick ip my Db after he flipped off a trampoline and smashed his head open when he was 4. Given me lifelong fear of trampolines + concrete so it’s a big g YANBU from me

Your DH is an absolute joke. Of course you’re right, he’s gaslighting you.

Agree with this, safety is imperative here, but how often do you see a problem and he has to solve it?

YANBU about the trampoline. YABU for worrying about every little thing.

Your not unreasonable pointing this out. But were you a bit passive aggressive? Asking him had he put the net on when im guessing you saw he hadn't?

I mean, I knew a kid at school who broke their back from jumping on a trampoline and falling off, so I would never buy one. To use one on concrete without a net is ridiculous - the kid I knew who was disabled from it fell onto grass.

So no, I don't think YABU. Personally I wouldn't even buy one

Dd went to a party where unbeknown to us they had a trampoline. When we picked her up she had her head slightly on one side and said her neck hurt. Had to go to A&E where she ended up with a collar for a muscular strain.

My df who is a doctor saw her and asked what she’d done. He told us never to get a trampoline as so many dc get injured on them.
Imo if you’re going to have one then bury the base so the jumping part is level with the ground.

Not sure what is happening. Does your husband have some sort of brain injury or did you walk down the aisle with a man who doesn't like you? At least not any more.

I wouldnt even consider to put a trampoline on a concrete, safety net or not.

It needs the safety net. My friend used to work at stoke Mandeville
spinal injuries unit and it was full of young men fallen off
trampolines or motorbikes

I didn't see that he hadn’t put the net on no, I asked because it is typical of him not to do the full job or even think about the consequences of it and then lash out me if I point it out.

The last thing I am is passive aggressive, I am direct. I wasn’t having a go, I was merely querying and ensuring DS didn’t get on the trampoline before the net was done.

As for the worrying about every little thing, to give you examples of what that looks like on a day to day basis- it’s things like kids swimming too deep in the sea, he wanted to go to holiday to Dubai recently and I was concerned and wanted to put that off for a year. We used to disagree when the kids were younger about cutting grapes up rather than giving them whole.

You’re not over worrying. Your dh is a joke.

You guys are unreasonable having a trampoline period. Having it on concrete and no safety net on is fucking insane.
Your husband is a negligent parent. Document everything.

Net should be on (is this a job you can tackle yourself? 🤔) and ideally the trampoline shouldn't be on concrete.
As others have pointed out 👆it's a major cause of injuries (as are kitchen cupboard doors, incidentally 😀)

It’s not staying on concrete, it’s just there until the grass is laid. To be honest I’d rather he wouldn’t go on it at all until it’s on the grass, but dh’s reaction to me saying things like this make me question myself at times. But there was no way I was letting him go on before the net was done.

DH apologised to me thirty minutes later and conceded he’d been an a*hole about it and the bet should definitely be on. I just hate that everything like that has to be such a battle, his first reaction is to react like a sulky teenager being told off by his mum.

Your DH would hate me. We have a trampoline in the garden, but it’s fixed to the ground and had a net around it - I don’t allow other kids on it unless their parents have given permission. My kids have never been allowed on bikes, skates or scooters without full protective gear on. I check with visitors about any allergies (and let them know that our place isn’t a nut free house etc). I think you’re being sensible!

I refused to even have a trampoline after a neighbour's child fractured a vertebra in a trampoline accident.

Horrendous things.