Man not asking questions on dates

[Sunshine386]

I recently went on a couple of dates with a man. He is very much the extrovert, very talkative, sees friends a lot and does different stuff. I'm more of a quieter personality, I do like doing things and sports but I'm generally more reserved.

To be honest I haven't felt particularly physically attracted to him. However, my biggest issue is that he doesn't seem to ask me questions or seem inquisitive about my life, he just talks. I don't think that he knows that much about me after two dates, I don't think he knows what I do for a living. After both dates I got messages saying how great he thought the dates went. What's your verdict on this, I just find it odd he doesn't seem curious about my life, or should I be telling him more. I can understand people not broaching personal matters, but things like your job are not personal questions

Throw this one back

OMG dump him now.

Nah, he just likes the sound of his own voice.

He doesn't need you. He's in love with himself.

You’re not physically attracted to him and two dates in he doesn’t seem that interested in learning anything about you, he just talks at you.

I’m not sure what the question is here, you’re surely not going for a third date are you?

That would be a no from me

Don't go for another. He thought the dates went well because you're a good listener. He's like an awful lot of people - simply not curious about others. If you are, don't bother going any further with this one. It won't get better

No, I'm not. I gave it a second chance because I thought it may have been nerves on the first date, but he was exactly the same on the second date

But then I was thinking, am I wrong to expect that a man should be asking me questions on a date, or should I be offering more without being asked.

Why are you even posting this here. You don’t feel attracted to him. He’s not interested in you. He just loves to hear himself talk. 3 very valid reasons to not go on another date. Stop wasting headspace about him. He certainly isn’t wasting any headspace about you. He’s only trying to get into your knickers.

Some people would force the topic round to themselves in your situation. Some would only talk about themselves if they're given encouragement.

Both are fine. It's just personality. You're definitely not doing anything wrong.

He, on the other hand. He's probably more focussed on creating a good impression than getting to know you. A surprising number of people do this. Treat dates as tests/interviews.

Or he's just dull. Either way, I'm glad you're not considering seeing him again.

Put him in the bin.

Of course he thought the dates went well; all ge did was talk and had someone listen to him...

He didnt do the reciprocity, and he didnt even realise that this was what dates are about.

Bin him. You owe him nothing.

He’s yet another one perfectly happy to monologue endlessly about himself.
Hes not interested in finding out about you, your role is simply to listen to him. I’d have thought one date would be enough.

You don’t fancy him so stop pursuing it.

I couldn’t be with someone who is so self-absorbed.
To be honest, I’m surprised there was more than one date!

Of course he should show an interest in you if he wants to get to know you! He sounds like he just enjoys the sound of his own voice 🤣 if you're not attracted to him and he's not shown any interest in your life, I wouldn't bother with another date!

ugh he sounds so self-absorbed !
awful. No further dates.

If you don't fancy him and you don't like him as a person, don't go on another date. You're not obliged to.

He wants an audience. Next he will start the trauma dumping because women make the best free therapists.

Ask him what interesting thing he has learnt about you!

Extroverts expect you to do the same back - to speak really and openly about yourself.

But also - if he was interested in you as a person he’d have asked some questions. He probably sees you as an archetype and has a fully pre-conceived fantasy notion of who you are. I think a lot of people do this - cast others as characters they’ve invented.

Easily and openly that was

Just don't date him, job done.

I wouldnt have stayed beyond the second drink on the first date...but it took 2.5 yrs of tinder to get to that point. I politely sat through more shit dates with low quality men than I can even remember

Who gives a shit that he likes you?
You arent feeling it.

I think you need to focus on finding someone you want to build a life with vs someone who wants to date you. (BTW I think this can be hard to do as women are conditioned to want to work hard to "be picked" and desired by men / any man without wondering if they actually want to pick the man in question back)

Conversations involve asking, listening and then replying

its not talk talk talk at the other person

he needs to develop himself more