To think there will never truly be a sisterhood because too many women are still competing for male attention?

[WaryLilacOtter]

I keep hearing about “the sisterhood” and how we’re all meant to uplift each other but I don’t really see it in action. The reality (at least in my experience) is that a lot of women are still operating from a place of scarcity, whether it’s about beauty, desirability or male validation.
It plays out in subtle ways too: side-eyes, comparisons, lack of support, even tearing each other down.

AIBU to think this competitive dynamic, especially when it comes to the male gaze, is what’s holding us back from truly building solidarity?

Can you be any more patronising?

I don't believe in sisterhood for a second, what a lot of nonsense. Just because we happen to have been born with a vagina doesn't make us "sisters", we are individuals, and so are men as it happens.

But reducing the normal human dynamics to us "competing for male attention"?
Please. That says a lot about YOU, nothing about some nonsensical sisterhood. You might be in a bubble competing about insecurity and need for male attention, that 's far from the reality for most of us.

Thankfully, female AND men show respect and solidarity towards each others. Some do, the rest .. you can find a lot of them on MN 😂

One of the Borg.

I hate the term sisterhood. I feel that it takes away my autonomy.

And that am expected to wear dungarees. I dont know why dungarees, it's just what that word summons up in my head.

I think the sisterhood had travelling pants?

I do too. I think it implies I’m never allowed to think a woman is a grade A arsehole, because that’s not supportive enough.

I also don’t like the idea that it’s other women’s responsibility to “raise me up” like some sort of Josh Groban tribute.

The kind of women who think life is this sort of tedious status-jockeying competition are just twats. So are the men. Doesn't matter if they think they're competing for female or male attention, doesn't matter if it's "hard-wired" or "biological" or whatever nonsense people come up with to excuse themselves. It's supremely twattish behaviour.

Luckily it's not inevitable, and it's definitely not inevitable to end up in a social circle where it's the norm. It's not something I actually encounter much in everyday life because I literally chose people who didn't act in this way to be my friends.

As for "sisterhood" it's more like solidarity with other women who've had to endure the patriarchy. Doesn't mean unquestioning support for every other woman. It does mean that when I see another woman thriving, I don't feel threatened.

The sisterhood is an aspiration in some feminist circles, part of the problem in others, and just not part of the equation in most.

That's the thing with feminism - it's an umbrella term for dozens of ways of viewing the problems faced by girls and women and potential solutions, many of them at odds with each other. For most, I don't think sisterhood is as aspiration so saying we're 'meant to uplift each other' isn't going to ring true for many, whether or not they view themselves as feminists.

By “sisterhood” I mean something closer to women supporting each other, not viewing each other as rivals and not centering male approval in how we treat each other.

Those are three separate things that are being treated as inherently connected. They are sometimes, but it's not as inherent as the posts sounds.

Just because I'm not supporting another woman doesn't mean I view them as rivals or centreing male attention. Just because another woman doesn't support me, disrespects me, or is otherwise negative towards me doesn't mean she views me as a rival or doing it for male attention.

Just because someone treats me as a rival doesn't mean they don't support me in some areas or are treating me as a rival for male attention. I work in a female-dominated workplace, I have had colleagues who viewed me as competition against themselves, their friend, or their mentee - I have been in direct open competition with some of them at times - but they still supported me in other work. Life's complicated like that.

Just because I prioritise certain men over most women doesn't mean I would treat another woman badly, just like my prioritising certain women over most men doesn't mean I would treat another man badly. We can seek another person's approval or prioritise their happiness over another's without being an ass about it.

I’m not really interested in belonging to any kind of sisterhood. I try to treat everyone with kindness and respect regardless of whether I share their gender.

I judge people based on their character and sadly I know plenty of women who are massive twats and I’ve no desire to ‘build them up’.

This.

In my almost 50 years i've never met a man who gave a shit about women eyebrows but the 'wrong' kind of eyebrows inspire thousands of SM post by women.

What bitter world do you live in?

I don’t think it’s normal or healthy to think like this at all.

When I see a beautiful woman I think, ‘wow she’s stunning!’ And enjoy looking at her.

When I meet someone richer than me I just think, ‘they wanted to work harder than I did’.

Actually, despite my previous post, I think the sisterhood could be taken to mean that feminists support all women who are being harmed because they are women, regardless of if you like them or think they are massive twats or if they hate feminists. So you would still fight for their rights, dignity and not to be harrassed because they are women. It doesn’t mean you like them or would support them outside these parameters.

I agree.

I get angry with anyone being sexist, same as I do with people being racist, or ageist or ableist, or homophobic, or treating anyone as if they are 'less' because of the way they were born.

I'm considerably over 50 but don't feel the need to support someone "because" they are a woman. If I can support good people, then I do - by speaking up, or in practical ways, or by commenting in discussions, but I value human beings as individuals, not thinking that because someone is female they are right, or 'good' or even that they need support.

YABU.