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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think supernanny doesn’t need a come back

264 replies

Inthenameoflove · 06/03/2026 22:05

I’ve noticed that Jo Frost is on a bit of a PR wave at the moment. AIBU to think her brand of ‘parenting’ advice can stay in the 00s.

I’ve always found the idea of parenting experts without children somewhat suspect. To me it’s very different than being a teacher or working with children generally which I don’t think you need to be a parent to do well.

I don’t enjoy her lectures/rants about things I suspect she has very little knowledge of.

I also find it really morally questionable putting struggling kids on TV - immortalised in their hardest moment forever.

OP posts:
dottiedodah · 07/03/2026 12:56

I think people without DC can never really appreciate how hard it can be. JF was OK then ,but it was also the GF type of parenting. controlled crying and so on.I dont think having young children on screen is helpful either .

Floogal · 07/03/2026 12:58

I hated the way she would sometimes seem to market herself by playing the 'MILF' angle. Like being filmed with her thong sticking out her trousers, or boasting about sad pervy men wanting to be spanked and put on the naughty step by her. Or how people mistake her for Nigella.
I just find her condescending.

notquiteruralbliss · 07/03/2026 13:00

BoredZelda · 07/03/2026 12:50

There is absolutely no need for this.

There was absolutely no need for her style of parenting 'advice' or for struggling families to be turned into entertainment

Eskarina1 · 07/03/2026 13:05

Sleepysnoozytime · 06/03/2026 23:51

I would honestly love her to try and use her techniques on my two.
It would not work.
I’m sure for many kids it would be great, but throw ASD/adhd/pda into the mix and it would make excellent tv, but maybe not show her in the best light.
I’m not going to let my kids on tv, so there’s that.

Unfortunately I think her style of discipline and the way it was portrayed in tv shows adds to the negative view that so many spout online, that parents are basically idiots. It encourages people to criticise others when they know nothing about what that family is going through. For that reason alone, I hope it never comes back. The exploitation of kids on all platforms is abhorrent and needs to be banned.

Your post made me think about my asd children would react and one would simply shut down and do nothing, the other would feel deeply deeply betrayed that I let it happen.

brightnails · 07/03/2026 13:12

we don’t need her YANBU

HostaCentral · 07/03/2026 13:26

I think there does need to be an opposing narrative to the current attachment/gentle parenting though. Nothing wrong with routines and boundaries. I didn't personally like her style or some of her methods, but something has gone wrong with the current generation of youngsters. They are not happy, their parents are not happy.

Hands up, I am very much a 90's/00's mother who follows many conversations on here, and dreads when my DD's become mothers, because there is little advice I can give that isn't in direct confrontation with current vibes. My similar aged friends feel the same, that the can't impart advice to their daughters many of whom seem to be struggling with their babies and young children.

usedtobeaylis · 07/03/2026 13:27

Inthenameoflove · 07/03/2026 12:38

I don’t like the grabbing and manhandling of children you see in supernanny. I agree the techniques are dated but Jo Frost claims she we do it all exactly the same now as then- so doesn’t really seem to have grown her repertoire or reflected.

I do find it hugely exploitative of vulnerable families.

I was a teacher for over a decade when I then had my own children (biological & adopted). It is different when they are your own. Firstly you are different - the emotions and love involved is different. The triggers relating to your own childhood are different. It’s also 24/7 for years. Nothing can prepare you for parenting- not even being a childcare professional. At least that is my view! I certainly had to eat humble pie at some of my judgemental attitudes prior to being a parent myself.

Edited

I agree with this. The manhandling of children I always hated and supernanny probably informed a lot of my parenting in what I didn't want to do in line with my upbringing. Becoming a mum myself emphasised that parents need support, not judgement - and yet so many of the posters here agreeing with supernanny are dripping in judgement.

usedtobeaylis · 07/03/2026 13:34

HostaCentral · 07/03/2026 13:26

I think there does need to be an opposing narrative to the current attachment/gentle parenting though. Nothing wrong with routines and boundaries. I didn't personally like her style or some of her methods, but something has gone wrong with the current generation of youngsters. They are not happy, their parents are not happy.

Hands up, I am very much a 90's/00's mother who follows many conversations on here, and dreads when my DD's become mothers, because there is little advice I can give that isn't in direct confrontation with current vibes. My similar aged friends feel the same, that the can't impart advice to their daughters many of whom seem to be struggling with their babies and young children.

Gentle and attachment parenting doesn't preclude boundaries and routine at all though. I err strongly on the side of responsive parenting with clear gentle and attachment influences, and that most definitely includes firm boundaries.

Being responsive to your child is never a wrong approach.

TheIceBear · 07/03/2026 13:43

I wouldn’t be bothered trying any of her techniques but I liked her . I certainly would not describe her as “thick”. And as for taking parenting advice from someone who doesn’t have kids ? I don’t see why someone that experienced as a nanny can’t give advice . Sometimes it’s useful as a parent to have an outside perspective on things .

Offherrockingchair · 07/03/2026 13:54

Some of it was exploitative by today’s standards, but is there anything wrong with kids learning a bit of respect and how to have appropriately in wider society? No! The majority of issues at my DCs’ schools are the unruly DC ruining it for the rest. One set the fire alarm off for a laugh this week, wasting the lesson time of 1500 other children. I know the family, no SEND, just a badly parented child who’ll struggle in life because he simply hasn’t been shown how to behave by his layabout family.

rc22 · 07/03/2026 14:05

Most teachers don't have kids when they start out in teaching.

sunshinestar1986 · 07/03/2026 18:05

And yet kids behaviour is so bad these days
Bring back strong discipline I say
Aside from any developmental delays and even they need suitable discipline.
The other day I saw a boy of about 6 or 7
Kicking his dad in the dental surgery waiting room
Why?
He asked him to lower the volume on his game.
Yeah, no thanks.
The boy was very articulate and seemed spoilt
But even if that boy was autistic or adhd, just no
Take it away,
Let him scream for a good 3 hours if neccassary
Let him learn that kicking your parents is unacceptable!
And this is coming from someone that has both adhd and autism in my family.

C152 · 07/03/2026 18:11

faerylights · 07/03/2026 11:52

But again, a parent is unlikely to have dealt with someone like your particular child either Confused

I guess I just find it strange that you think a parent with experience of maybe 2-3 children is better equipped to give advice over a trained professional with 30+ years experience of working with hundreds of different children.

I'm either explaining my view poorly, or we just fundamentally disagree.

A nanny with children who adapts guidance for lived experiece is able to offer more than someone who hasn't got a clue what having a child is actually like. I'm sorry, I can't think of a better way to articulate. I guess I place a lot of value on actual personal experience rather than just having a job. (For example, a nurse with zero personal experience told me that something didn't hurt, and compared it to a post-pregnancy treatment which was so agonising I stopped after a week. When I said her 'it doesn't hurt' comparison was actually horrendously painful, she made a face, got cross and told me, 'well I've never actually experienced it, so I can't say.' Learning through books is different to learning from life. Learning on the job is vastly different to living an experience 24/7; and it's the lived experience that allows someone to give well rounded guidance.)

DuchessofSuffolk · 07/03/2026 18:26

Midsommermadness · 06/03/2026 22:32

So is taking the piss out of someone with a slight speech impediment !

I think the point this poster was trying to make, was that there was a young girl who would repeat that in supernannys face. Her name was Megan. There are clips of her being an absolute terror all over TikTok to this day.

Itsthesameeveryday · 07/03/2026 18:35

Whilst shes not everyone's cup of tea, a hell of a lot of parents could do with taking note of some of her parenting tips.

MrsCarmelaSoprano · 07/03/2026 18:59

Itsthesameeveryday · 07/03/2026 18:35

Whilst shes not everyone's cup of tea, a hell of a lot of parents could do with taking note of some of her parenting tips.

Totally agree, I liked her early stuff and I wish more parents would manhandle their kids instead of pleasing and pandering to them. Kids thrive when boundaries are in place.

HRTQueen · 07/03/2026 19:03

She was and still is an awful woman I could never understand how she was so popular

humiliating people for entertainment was a popular theme at the time less so now and that is what she is about

StrawberryElephants · 07/03/2026 19:04

As a teenager I watched her quite a lot and certain things she demonstrated I use to this day with my son.

I agree its not aged well to have the struggling children on television - but on the other hand - i think her methods helped many people.

ForAmusedHazelQuoter · 07/03/2026 19:07

Bring her back, how is all this not sleeping for years beneficial to anyone?

MissyB1 · 07/03/2026 19:36

Her “back to bed” routine has been successful for many parents, I used it, so did my sisters and lots of my friends.

TheAngryPuxie · 07/03/2026 19:47

I LOVE Supernanny and am going through a stage of watching all of her stuff on Youtube. My favourite bits are the naughty corner and the bedtime technique. Most of all I just love seeing the little brats being taught how to behave! I can never understand how the children get so awful in the first place!

PeopleLikeColdplayYouCantTrustPeopleJez · 07/03/2026 19:58

I don’t doubt she has credentials but watching some episodes were really uncomfortable viewing- mostly because all of the children featured were having their bad behaviour/challenges immortalised forever on screen- but also because at least some of the children clearly had issues or ND that Jo Frost and the show was never going to be able to “fix”. They needed different interventions. There was also a few couples/families where there seemed to be abuse going on even if it was “only” emotional abuse. It the parents are physically abusing their children in front of SuperNanny and the crew, the whole episode should be shelved and the family reported to social services instead.

UraniumFlowerpot · 07/03/2026 20:02

TheignT · 07/03/2026 12:48

Lots of us thought it was questionable 20 years ago. Obviously the TV company were happy with it, she had her fans probably still does.

I particularly hated the naughty step.

I’ve never liked the idea of a naughty step either but I knew one family who had basically the same thing without the word naughty. It was more framed as you need some time to chill out and get control of your emotions so you can join in in the best way. This was with kids about 2&4 when I knew them.

I found it very sweet seeing the 4yo take himself to the step with apparently no negative feeling about it. Also the time he was told he needed to stop being so rough and if he hit again he’d have to go sit on the step for a while, seeing him stop for a moment and consider then hit the other kid and calmly take himself off for his timeout. Made me smile (no one was actually hurt, just to be clear). Maybe a one off but for that family it seemed to work really well.

PeopleLikeColdplayYouCantTrustPeopleJez · 07/03/2026 20:07

UraniumFlowerpot · 07/03/2026 20:02

I’ve never liked the idea of a naughty step either but I knew one family who had basically the same thing without the word naughty. It was more framed as you need some time to chill out and get control of your emotions so you can join in in the best way. This was with kids about 2&4 when I knew them.

I found it very sweet seeing the 4yo take himself to the step with apparently no negative feeling about it. Also the time he was told he needed to stop being so rough and if he hit again he’d have to go sit on the step for a while, seeing him stop for a moment and consider then hit the other kid and calmly take himself off for his timeout. Made me smile (no one was actually hurt, just to be clear). Maybe a one off but for that family it seemed to work really well.

Agree. The actual concept of having some time out to calm down, regroup and consider the consequence of your actions is a positive thing. Especially if your child then takes themself there. But maybe adding “naughty” onto it turned it into a battleground that it didn’t have to be?

BertieBotts · 07/03/2026 20:11

NovemberMorn · 07/03/2026 12:36

The kids were happier, but how will they feel in a few years time when they realise their parents were willing to show them off to the world, especially when they were going through real childhood traumas.

The children from programmes from that era are old enough to have their own social media and some have uploaded their own views about it. Most that I have seen tend to be "Lol look how naughty I was, this is funny, look at me now!" (They seem to very rarely be doing anything of note now) - but I did see a video of someone who had been on an episode of Hoarders as a teenager, and felt that the entire process had been exploitative, disruptive and did not help long term.

Of course if someone doesn't want their name linked to this old TV programme they are unlikely to post openly, so I wouldn't take that as a given.

Some episodes have been removed from re-airing due to privacy concerns, which may have been at the children's request, and the families' names removed from the Supernanny wiki.

As far as I can tell from what I've seen from people sharing their own experience plus a few comments on the wiki, some families found that the approach did help calm things down somewhat, and combined with the children growing up there was a longer term positive effect, but many did fall back into some state of chaos. Some families sold stories to newspapers/other media in the following years claiming that the producers wound up the children or staged some of the incidents shown. It's hard to tell whether this is genuine gripe because they were misled or a skewed/unreliable narrative of what actually happened. Some of the children ended up committing crimes and going to prison. Several families went on to have more children. Many of the couples divorced/separated. Many of the children on the programmes who have posted about their experience state that they do not have much if any contact with their parents as adults.

Interestingly this was also a topic on the podcast interview, and Jo said that she didn't feel responsible for whether or not parents fall back into bad habits after she leaves, which I thought was a bit simplistic - I felt she was implying if the parents had stuck to her advice perfectly and used it always, then every problem they have ever had will be solved, and that seems unlikely. It also ignores the fact that it's not completely random that a family ends up in the crisis point they are usually at at the start of the programme. Most of Jo's advice is extremely basic and the first parenting advice you'll find in any book, article or course - clear boundaries, connection, structure and positive role models. So if you're not managing those things often it's because of underlying issues e.g. own childhood trauma, lack of own role models, extreme stress, emotional difficulties, very poor self-awareness, MH problems/ND etc. You can override things like that for a very short intense sprint like a 3-week TV programme with an expert coaching you all the time, but parenting is a marathon not a sprint. And as others pointed out, TV editing is such that you can easily show the worst parts of the "before" week and the best moments of the "after" week and make it look like Jo's methods have totally transformed the children but that is unrealistic in such a short space of time. And as you usually see during week 2, it only takes a small amount of slack in the plan for things to unravel, and parents are only human and probably humans with issues or they wouldn't have got there in the first place.