To find "Mrs" in a work email signature a bit cringe

[Whyohwhyohwhy26]

Just that really, is this a new thing or I'm just noticing it more nowadays that some female colleagues have Mrs first name last name on their email signatures where the norm is just names + job title etc. I've never seen a male colleague's email signature be "Mr X" and i'd find that equally odd to be honest. Unless it's a professional title like Dr or Professor AIBU to think putting your personal title in an email signature a bit cringe ?

But this is simply wrong. At no point is a woman ever Mrs Eldest Son’s initial surname.

I mean who wants to be Mrs husband’s initial surname but at least that has some logic.

I'd find it more formal than usual for the modern day, but hardly cringeworthy. The inclusion of pronouns would be more likely to annoy me.

Look it up in Debretts. You won’t be correct even if you go back to versions from the 18th or 19th centuries.

What happens if the widow doesn’t have any sons? Whose surname does the widow take then? Who’s next in line?

There are cultures where women, and sometimes men, are referred to as parent of their eldest son. An Arab couple whose eldest son is John might be Umm John and Abu John. But I've never heard of it happening in the UK.

I am frequently met with a cheery “Hello JohnsMum!” from some unrecognisable young person in the local shops 14 years after Ds left primary school !

But would v much baulk at that being my title!

Regardless of how old you are though, I very much doubt women haven't "belonged" to anyone since either before you were born or were very young. Fine if you choose to still follow such archaic sexist convention but I do find women who insist they follow this kind of convention quote inconsistent. Surely the era these silly rules belonged to, the etiquette didn't approve of you having much of an opinion on anything and would find it impolite for you to publicly share it but here you are. I'm glad you do before you say! But I find it odd which bits of the past etiquette you pick and choose.

@Whyohwhyohwhy26 , I certainly don’t feel I belong to anyone. I merely point out that I believe that is the origin of the custom.
There do seem to be some people who suffer with what is to me an inexplicable affliction of finding the thinking and actions of others where it differs from their own to be tantamount to having a dalliance with the Devil. It appears to affect a disproportionately large number of people of my children’s generation, though not thankfully my children.

Sorry that's how I interpreted "those of us who choose to still follow convention" that you do in fact, follow the convention you were describing. I find some people on here find people pointing out their contradictions to be so egregious that they need to over dramatically twist other people's words rather than stand by their own point. I only find it cringe, definitely don't think you're having a dalliance with the devil 😉

@Whyohwhyohwhy26 , because I may follow a particular convention doesn’t necessarily mean I am in accordance with the historical reasons behind it.

I do think what generation you’re from, is a factor

My mum always put on forms etc “Mrs husbands initials, married surname” ie Mrs AN Smith

It was considered “good manners” when I was growing up to write my name, first name then surname and my status in brackets
ie Rainbow Dottie (Mrs)
I was taught it let “the reader” know that they could address me by Mrs Dottie. We were never taught just to use our names, it was expected in “good English “ that Miss, Mrs, Ms etc would be used in brackets.

Ive only ever worked in education so Mrs, Ms, Miss is so overused it becomes “normal”. I’m so used to being called “Mrs Rainbowdottie” that tbh if I go somewhere like a bank, or a formal meeting and someone says “can I call you Rainbow?” I think absolutely not!!! I know that’s just me, my age and my work background but in my mind, that’s not ok!

Was going to say its very common in Education.

You still haven’t explained what convention forces you to take your son’s name when widowed - this is not something most people have ever heard of!

@Rituelec It is still common in education - unfortunately. I taught in a very large primary school and was literally the only Ms in a staff of about 90 women (mostly married). Nobody could seem to get it right, and even less so when they knew I had a husband!

We had a Ms when I was at junior school in the early '80s, and there was a lot of speculation about whether she was divorced. I've no idea whether she was or not, which surprises me, as half the staff were in my parents' social circle (which did no good for my social standing...)

I’m a married millennial woman who would never do this! Cringe.

I’ve only seen it once, and it was because the person had a unisex name (think Ashley) and wanted to make clear she was a female. This was before pronoun days!

Yours faithfully, Edna Welthorpe (Mrs)

https://vimeo.com/226284574

I understand that but I don't know why you would then be surprised or so offended if someone logically assumes that by following the convention you support it's function? No one is forcing you to follow that convention, it's your choice, and you're free to do your own mental gymnastics about making choices that you're not in accordance with. But it's very odd to get so upset that people will assume you're making a choice that aligns with your values. Especially if you're arguing for it to be used in emails while saying men aren't entitled to use Mr in the same fashion and it makes your flesh creep....the cognitive dissonance must be strong in you!

I think it depends on the industry that you're in, and the size - and culture - of the company. It's not a 1 Rule Fits All situation.