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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU after rushing out to get party balloons while the dad stayed home watching football?

44 replies

FunkyDancer223 · 06/03/2026 15:20

My DC went to a friend’s birthday party recently. Earlier in the morning I bumped into the mum and she mentioned she was still running around trying to sort a few things before the party that afternoon. She said she still needed to pick up some balloons and asked if I could get some.

I said yes because going by the conversation it was inferred they were for the party we were about to go to. She told me the type she wanted, the big helium ones, so while my DC was busy with something else that morning I went to the shops and bought them. They came to about £20.

I then picked my DC up and we went straight to the party with the balloons.

When I arrived the mum told me to hide them because her DC wasn’t meant to see them. I was confused and she then said they were actually for her DC's birthday the next day, not the party we were currently at.

So I’d basically rushed around doing an errand that wasn’t even for the party I was heading to.

During the party I asked what time her husband was arriving and she said he was at home watching the football. That surprised me as well given it was their DC’s birthday party, and it also made me wonder why he couldn’t have just popped out to get the balloons himself rather than me rushing around beforehand.

Anyway I gave her the receipt and she said she’d transfer the money. I sent my bank details later that evening and she replied a couple of days later saying she’d missed the message and would send it over.

It’s now several days later and nothing has come through.

I don’t really want to chase £20 but equally it’s the principle. I feel like I did her a favour, rushed around to help her out which her husband could have easily done, and now I’m out of pocket.

AIBU to feel annoyed about it?

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 06/03/2026 15:22

She’s a CF - keep chasing. Keep being sweetly annoying. £20 is a lot of money - well it is to me anyway.

Owly11 · 06/03/2026 15:23

I don't know why you are posting. Either this never happened or if it did you know 100% that you are not being unreasonable.

Wishimaywishimight · 06/03/2026 15:26

You've been a mug once. Don't make it twice! I would chase that money every day from now until Christmas, out of principle.

FunkyDancer223 · 06/03/2026 15:27

Owly11 · 06/03/2026 15:23

I don't know why you are posting. Either this never happened or if it did you know 100% that you are not being unreasonable.

I know she should most definitely pay me back, I am more curious about the situation with the husband - should he not have gone and got the balloons? Similarly what should I say to chase for the money?

OP posts:
Bonkers1966 · 06/03/2026 15:30

Wow. You weren't to know she was one of those lazy entitled individuals. You were being decent. I would go around. Knock on her door and ask for your money. Do not let her get away with this.

SleepSleeping · 06/03/2026 15:36

No you are not unreasonable to feel annoyed about this. I am feeling annoyed just reading about it. And yes the husband should gone to get the balloons. And why on earth was he watching football rather than attending his son's birthday party?

Do keep asking for the money back!!

BySunnyReader · 06/03/2026 15:36

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Itstimeforachangeagain · 06/03/2026 15:39

It sounds as though her and her H are ideally suited. Expecting others to run around after them and, in her case, foot the bill as well.

I agree with pp: don't let her get away with this. Chase the £20. And then give her and her H a wide berth in future.

ilovesooty · 06/03/2026 15:41

I don't think whether the husband should have got them is relevant. She owes you money and you need to insist on getting it back.

BoredZelda · 06/03/2026 15:41

FunkyDancer223 · 06/03/2026 15:27

I know she should most definitely pay me back, I am more curious about the situation with the husband - should he not have gone and got the balloons? Similarly what should I say to chase for the money?

Oh don’t do that. It’s not curiosity, it’s judgement.

OneBreezyHelper · 06/03/2026 15:43

Not paying you immediately is out of order, she's very rude.

Having a lazy husband is not exactly her fault

Rushing to get balloons for actual birthday was not a lie, that was on her list of things to do, so nothing wrong with that.

If she had transferred the money immediately, she wouldn't have been in the wrong.

OneBreezyHelper · 06/03/2026 15:50

SleepSleeping · 06/03/2026 15:36

No you are not unreasonable to feel annoyed about this. I am feeling annoyed just reading about it. And yes the husband should gone to get the balloons. And why on earth was he watching football rather than attending his son's birthday party?

Do keep asking for the money back!!

why do you blame the mum for her husband?

And thinking about it, it's rare for 2 parents to host the kids parties - kids don't care if you are there or not. Families have real celebration at another time

BauhausOfEliott · 06/03/2026 15:54

I am more curious about the situation with the husband - should he not have gone and got the balloons?

Obviously, yes. But it's not like you can do anything about it now. Just chase the twenty quid you're owed and don't do her any more favours.

SleepSleeping · 06/03/2026 15:55

OneBreezyHelper · 06/03/2026 15:50

why do you blame the mum for her husband?

And thinking about it, it's rare for 2 parents to host the kids parties - kids don't care if you are there or not. Families have real celebration at another time

I am not really interested in the details of their marital lives but i wouldn't ask an acquaintance for a favour if someone closer to me could do it. Also, I am judging the husband more than the wife. And I do absolutely judge him for not going to the party. If we give the mum the benefit of the doubt she is rushed off her feet. Parties are stressful and lots of work. Why isn't he there helping her?

My kids are both under 10 but I have never been to a kids' birthday party that didn't have both parents. In fact often the grand parents are there as well to help out.

Worktillate · 06/03/2026 15:57

I don't think it's relevant that they weren't for the party you were attending.

I also don't think it's that relevant what her husband was doing - you were doing her a favour not him. If you hadn't picked them up, she would have done it so you made her day easier rather than facilitating husband watching the footie.

Unless there's additional context coming that you already know, it could be part of their personal set up at home. Husband may have a really stressful job or one that requires him to work long hours - the footie could have been his first downtime in weeks. We don't know on that one.

However, the not paying is CFery of the highest order - continue to pester xx

Cornishclio · 06/03/2026 16:05

YANBU. Both lazy and CFs. Never do her a favour again and keep chasing for the £20

Cornishclio · 06/03/2026 16:12

I take issue with the fact that people are saying the woman having a lazy husband who would rather watch footie than help out at DCs party is not her fault. Women should not let their husbands get away with that. Have a conversation saying the disparity of them both sharing household tasks is unfair. If he is at home watching football he isn’t working so does not get a free pass on sharing of family tasks which includes sorting a DCs birthday party. Why are some women putting up with this? My husband has helped out but given the choice I dare say he would rather do his own thing than do housework or shopping even though we both worked and the DC are both of ours. Over the years though I have pointed out this is unfair and he agreed so helped out more.

noidea69 · 06/03/2026 16:16

The cheeky fucker mum is worse than the dad, although the dad is very weird for not attending his own child's birthday party.

Not sure why you had to go and get the balloon there and then, was the dad maybe going to go out later and pick it up?

Boomer55 · 06/03/2026 16:21

FunkyDancer223 · 06/03/2026 15:27

I know she should most definitely pay me back, I am more curious about the situation with the husband - should he not have gone and got the balloons? Similarly what should I say to chase for the money?

Her husband isn’t your business. Getting your money back is. 🤷‍♀️

StrawberrySquash · 06/03/2026 16:27

OneBreezyHelper · 06/03/2026 15:50

why do you blame the mum for her husband?

And thinking about it, it's rare for 2 parents to host the kids parties - kids don't care if you are there or not. Families have real celebration at another time

I'd expect both parents to be there to shoulder the burden - it's a lot of work and organisation! Plus it's their child's special day.

aBuffetofunreasonableness · 06/03/2026 16:31

'forward the money you owe me today, thanks'
Call her. Make it awkward for her.

44PumpLane · 06/03/2026 16:44

Surely you just text "Hi Susie- just a quick reminder on that £20 you owe me"

mrbluebirdonmyshoulder · 06/03/2026 16:50

Ask her for the money in front of someone else, maybe in the school playground.

She didn't really do anything wrong re her husband or the timing of the party but she definately owes you the money.

Screamingabdabz · 06/03/2026 18:24

“Hey cheeky fucker - still waiting for the £20 balloon money from last week - I could really do with it so hope you could do it tonight? Cheers x”

UniquePinkSwan · 06/03/2026 18:27

I’m the big football fan in the house and DH would have no problems going for stuff when I’m watching a game. He’s done it many times