Older mums

[Suburbiton63]

From what age would you start classifying someone as an older mum? I know it's historically from 35 but I think that's very average now.
I'd say anything is 30s is unremarkable.
40-42 for FTM older but not majorly.
43+ older mum

40 plus.

I think you have to think of the child rather than what you want at 40+.

Having parents in their 60s when you’re just becoming an adult isn’t ideal if their health isn’t great and ill health can happen suddenly to anyone.

Having older parents can mean a less active life for young children.

Having older parents can unfortunately embarrass children.

There’s many things to consider when opting to have children post 40.

This is a ridiculous way to look at it.

A loving parent in their 60s with a bit of financial security is far better than a middle aged mum who has flatlined since having kids as a skint and overwrought 20 something with no prospects, no support and no life experience.

Its not a foregone conclusion that people will be ill in their 60s.

And as for being “embarrassed” by older parents, words fail me. So pandering to other people’s ageism in the school playground is your biggest concern?

I think 36 and over is an older mum (if first baby), but honestly, who cares?

Is this a factor in you deciding to have a third? If being seen as older was that important, wouldn’t you have started earlier anyway?

There’s not really any perspective we can offer besides throwing out random numbers.

You can’t be upset at pp’s comment and stereotype young parents as skint and flatlined, with no prospects and life experience. That’s more offensive than the initial comment you’re replying to.

My mother was classed as an “elderly primagravida” at 29! This was back in the 1970s though.

but what difference does it make, really, if your mum had you at 38 or at 42?

"Having parents in their 60s when you’re just becoming an adult isn’t ideal if their health isn’t great and ill health can happen suddenly to anyone." exactly, so age is completely irrelevant.
And 60 is not 90 😂

Who you are, how active and fit you are, how financially free you are, that's what matters. Age is rather irrelevant if it's between being in your 30s or early 40s.

Sadly I’ve known people to die at all ages and as parents of young children, teens, young adults and older adults. No one knows what the future holds for their health or longevity, you can’t make decisions based on that.

Poisonous stereotypes about older parents are fair game but young mothers are sacred and untouchable? OK then.

The whole point is that you can’t generalise about someone’s suitability as a parent based either on their age or their income.

HTH

You cannot complain about another comment whilst sniping more viciously yourself. Your comment was more offensive (or if you like, equally as bad).

HTH.

You’ve completely missed the point.

Any kind if stereotypes about mothers based on their age or financial circumstances are toxic.

But this poster had the gall to say older mothers are an embarrassment to their children. And you are accusing me of being vicious?

Why does everything need a label these days? If you want a baby OP, have one.

I dont have kids my choice, and im pleased i dont have them.

?

Ok

You’re probably classed as an older mum if you’re having your first kid at 40. There is said it… I don’t really care when people have their children though and I don’t really understand the age argument. I know there is more risks but you can’t say 38 is fine but 40 isn’t.

Let people do what they want, and unfortunately not everyone has a choice.

To answer OP, it’s not unusual to have your third kid in your late 30’s or early 40’s.

I had my daughter when I was almost 46, I definitely consider myself an older mum.

I'm not sure I considered myself an older mum when I had my son at 42 though. I was old but not THAT old 😬

I was 28 when I had my 1st baby in 1983, I had elderly primigravida written in red on the front of my notes!

I’ve never really thought in terms of ‘older mothers’. I guess having a first baby at 37/38-ish and older I might have a passing thought of ‘they left it a bit later to have children’?

But you’re the only one who needs to decide if you want a third child, you and your partner. It makes not the slightest difference if randoms on the internet think you’re a shrivelled crone at 40!

I'd say from age 35

I had my last at 38 and feel it was a bit old, there are a couple of similar aged mums in her class but most are younger.

42 is deff a bit older for a first baby. It doesn’t mean thats an awful thing but 42 is leaving it on the later side

35+. That's considered advanced maternal age.

35+