To leave my house to my children and not my husband

[Moiraroseee]

I have two children and my main priority is ensuring they are always well taken care of. I am married to a lovely man who is not their father but has been in our lives for many years (firstly as a family friend prior to our relationship). For various reasons, when we bought our family home, it was practical for me to be the only person named on the mortgage and I supplied the entire deposit. The question I have is, if I die am I able to leave the house entirely to my children? He is not named on the property (although circumstances have now changed and he could be added now) - but since we are married is the property automatically 50% his and therefore would I be unable to leave it all to my kids?

A GM did this, too. She left the house to my (only child) DF, but with the proviso that her 2nd husband (an old friend she’d married in her 80s) could live there for as long as he wanted to.

Incorrect. They’re married.

He’s not annoyed at all - he knows the kids
come first for me. He has savings, investments and is provided for via a life insurance policy. He is not worried about him.

My concern as other posters have stated - if I don’t ensure this is done properly, is what could happen in the case of a remarriage. Imagine if he remarried and is then incapacitated in some way and forced to change the will away from my DC. It happens!

How! Saying my husband is happy and not poor in his own right and that my priority is to ensure my kids will be provided for if I die during their childhood?! Honestly this place is wild.

DOes he have any children OP? If you feel ge has contributed why don't for example leave 75 % to your children, 25% to his children or charity of his choice . But he has right to live in house and then it's sold as per above.

This is sorted

You can leave the house to your DC and for the house to be sold within a certain timeframe.

Probate etc… takes about a year anyway, which gives your DH 12 months to get his ducks in a row and find somewhere else to live.

Absolutely - my bad!! But don’t worry, some of the utterly unhinged responses and assumptions have made me laugh.

You can leave it in your Will but he may challenge it under the Inheritance Provision for Family and Dependents Act or claim an equitable interest on the basis of contributions to the mortgage.

I think it's easy for him to make all the right noises now, but he probably also knows that if you die before him he has the option to contest any will that you have made. I don't think you can trust anyone to keep their word, even if they say they understand that you want to leave everything to your children. You may have paid the deposit for the house but he has paid 50% of the mortgage payments, so it's not like he's contributed nothing. Also, his life insurance won't really help much for him unless he's already dead.

Exactly my thought, it’s not like he’d be out on the street immediately!! And nor would I ever want that.

Really? Wouldn’t you want them to continue living in their home with their step father, with life insurance for support. I mean, even if the house belongs to the children I wouldn’t want it sold at that point to create more upheaval in their lives.

This sounds very sensible

My dad has a will stating his house is to be left to me. His wife (not my mum) is fully aware and supportive of this. She has 2 properties of her own that she rents out, so won’t be left homeless (I of course won’t kick her out until she’s able to move into one of her properties!).
His will was rewritten after he married, as marriage invalidates previous wills.

Help is help, even if not needed.

So you seem to be worried that he will remarry someone who won’t have your chlldrens best interest at heart ? Have you been reading a few Grimm fairy tales to the kids 🤣

If you have large assets you should look at proper estate planning. There are options like Trusts which would ring fence assets and death in service income. Your husband could be one of a number of executers to oversee the interests.

If you don’t trust him enough about a house, do you trust him to look after your kids if something happened to you, or would they go somewhere else. In that case, those people should be the trustees

These assumptions are so fun!

He sold his property to free up funds to invest into a business of which he is the part owner. When we needed to quickly buy a house due to my DC being about to start school it was easier if I went ahead with the purchase alone. Not everything is done for a sinister reason!

Just looked up this case again and see the final settlement was in fact Havers got a substantial sum of money (and not the house - value of which not stated) and jewellery.

My mums ex husband tried to make a claim on her house that she had bought before him. She had bankrolled him for years too before he cheated and left.
My mum thankfully is quite organised for that sort of thing and he wasn't on the deeds and had been paying her rent before marrying. He wasn't entitled, but it was stressful for a while, so def get advice

It’s life insurance which goes to him in part if I die.

This is what I have done for now as my dc are young.
death in service (10x) -so just over 500,000.- 50% of this is ordered into trust to their dad to care for them. The rest is split between dh(not dc’s dad)and the dc.
life insurance policy -300,000k will be left half to trust and half to dc also.
2nd policy- pays off mortgage- dh stays in house until his death. (House worth 500k)

so dc will have 625 or thereabouts split between trusts etc and the house on dh’s death. Dh will have the house paid and 125k.(which will be instead of my pension etc)

and that’s not including any cash savings which will be split also.

In my opinion, if you agree to marry someone, you’re also agreeing to look after each other whether that’s in life or death. Of course I want to make sure my children have enough, but I am also obliged to take care of him as he is to take care of me. If my DH dies everything of his goes to me and therefore to my dc. He has no DC.

things will be revisited as time goes on, obviously.

That is no explanation for why you are not both listed as joint owners.

I'm joint owner of my house. I did sod all when we bought it except sign the papers put under my nose, the same as the previous 4 purchases.

Get it set in a will but add a ‘right to reside’ clause for your OH so he has a home if you die before him.

You mentioned earlier that you could afford the mortgage on your own but he wants to contribute. Maybe as a gesture of goodwill, and to show you do truly love and care for him too, you could save his mortgage contributions (without telling him) to leave a lump cash sum to him in the event of your death.

Whether he needs it or not, being left an inheritance from someone you believe truly loves you, is so much more than just the money. Being left nothing punctures what he thought to be true. It’s hurtful.

I’m not ‘worried’ about him marrying someone else but you’ve got to be naive to think this is completely outside the realm of possibility. I know of two cases where this happened - the new wife and her children ended up getting the lot - in one case the husband had dementia and was influenced to change his will away from his step children.