To leave my house to my children and not my husband

[Moiraroseee]

I have two children and my main priority is ensuring they are always well taken care of. I am married to a lovely man who is not their father but has been in our lives for many years (firstly as a family friend prior to our relationship). For various reasons, when we bought our family home, it was practical for me to be the only person named on the mortgage and I supplied the entire deposit. The question I have is, if I die am I able to leave the house entirely to my children? He is not named on the property (although circumstances have now changed and he could be added now) - but since we are married is the property automatically 50% his and therefore would I be unable to leave it all to my kids?

You need to make a will, I have a similar situation.

Best you consult a lawyer, rather than Mumsnet. What do you want to happen if you die first? For him to be booted out? You could give him a life interest so that he can live there until death.

No idea if you're being unreasonable..
How are his finances... If you suddenly died where would he live? What ages are your kids... If children - has he adopted them /legal guardian... If they're adults where would he live if your kids decided to sell?

As long as legally you are the sole owner and your Will clearly states it is to go to your children it won't go to him but you must get a properly written Will. Are you going to make him homeless or are you going to put provision in the Will that he can continue to live there?

I’m not an expert but I think if you divorce, he is entitled to a share of marital assets, including the house. That’s a huge risk you took when marrying him.

You can will the house to DC, but will that make DH homeless? Or does he have his own assets?

Best consult a lawyer - has he contributed towards the mortgage payments? You don’t want to create a situation where there’s legal battles once you’ve passed.

If the house is wholly in your name then you decide who to leave it to, but you must write a Will for this to happen.

Your DH could challenge the Will so make sure to also write a Letter of Wishes that explains your decision-making, and ideally make sure that he is provided for in some way e.g. cash savings.

You can do this but he would be able to contest it if it didn't make reasonable provision for him.

Whether he would win that claim, depends on a number of factors. And of course he might not make that claim.

Any decent solicitor can talk you through the factors in your situation

Thank you. I have a will stating this - I was just wondering if it would be valid.

Have you considered where he will go if you died first, as maybe an old man, certainly a grieving person and the potentially homeless?
I faced the same as your husband and we’ve had a fairly long marriage now so my dh did the right thing to ensure I was not homeless. I asked at the bare minimum to live in my home until I passed away. I understand about your children but presumably he’s contributed in some way and should at least be able to live in his home as a widow, if you want it all left to your children you can leave it in trust.
if I were advising your husband I’d be telling him to register an interest against the home asap

He’s contributed 50% of all bills.

Don't take legal advice off the internet!

Get a lawyer and find out where you stand. That said, if I were your husband and you did this I'd probably file for divorce very soon afterwards as you are making it very clear how you view your relationship and that you're happy to see him booted out when you die. He would then be able to claim 50% of the property. Imagine if the shoe were on the other foot.

This is why people with children need to think very carefully before jumping into a new marriage.

Including the mortgage?

I wouldn’t want this unless my DC were self sufficient adults. Certainly if I died before they were I’d want the house to be sold to ensure they were provided for.

yes - all comes out of one account - we both pay in the same each month and all direct debits come out.

Edit due to your recent comment.

Honestly it’s very likely could contest you leaving 100% of the property to your children if the home was bought during the marriage and he has paid half of all the home related bills during that time.

You’ll need to consult a lawyer to draw up your will imo.

My husband earns six figures and is self sufficient. This isn’t about his ability to provide for himself of which he’s more than capable.

As he has been living there he may have a good case that your will should provide for him after death in some capacity.

If he has no assets himself then he could argue he was dependent on you. If he has contributed to the mortgage or significant work to the house then he would also have a claim.

If he divorces you, the house forms part of your joint marital assets and he would have a claim.

Unfortunately unless he has significant assets himself, enough to house himself, or he walks away willingly then you are in trouble and you have some difficult decisions to make.

You need a lawyer for this, not a bog standard DIY will.

No I didn’t say that, he has contributed to bills, not to the deposit

So effectively you are taking money from him to pay for an asset that you plan to give to your children, potentially leaving him homeless. Lovely!

Setting aside the legalities, you at least owe him full information about this.

I thought that might be the case! Will make an appointment for this week.

Hahahahahaha

He’s paying half the mortgage, so you’re being unreasonable.

My uncle did this, he gave his wife a life interest in his house but on her death it reverts to his children. She can also sell the house and buy another one, but will still be owned by his children.