To ask for your help with my life?

[Lostinterior]

I’m 20 and feeling really torn about my future, and I’d really appreciate some honest perspective.

For context, I was made homeless at 17 so I had to grow up very quickly. I now live with my boyfriend on a large property (we don’t live with the owners, we’re in a tiny property on the land). I run my own dog walking/pet care business and earn about £1,300 a month, including £800 from the main clients whose property we live on (rent free). I’m also studying Forensic Psychology with the Open University.

On paper, I’m stable and doing well. But I feel constantly stressed and “on.” My days are wake up, rush to work, manage clients, come home exhausted, stress about the housework, sleep, repeat. I feel strung out and worry I’m wasting my youth.

Long term, I want financial freedom, a nice home, dogs, a family, travel, respect, stability and peace. I enjoy my degree and like that it’s respected, but I don’t think I actually want to become a forensic psychologist, it’s a long, competitive and uncertain path.

What I’m really drawn to is interior design. I love photography, refurbishing and selling vintage antiques, and the idea of creating beautiful spaces. I’d also eventually love to run a dog grooming studio from home once we own a house.

My problem is I have no idea how to realistically move into interior design without blowing up the stability I’ve built. I can do a qualification alongside my degree, but how do you actually get real work or clients when you’re starting from scratch? Especially when I don’t want to lose my current main client (the £800/month one) and the housing that comes with it.

My boyfriend and I would also love to travel by campervan for a year after I finish my degree, before settling down. But I’m scared about how we’d earn money while travelling and what we’d do when we came back to the UK. The thought of coming back with no clear path really worries me.

Part of me thinks we should stay put for a couple of years, save hard, I finish my degree, start an interior design qualification, maybe train in dog grooming, build some kind of portfolio quietly, and then travel once we have a solid financial buffer and plan. But I worry I’m being too cautious and missing out.

Has anyone successfully transitioned into interior design laterally while keeping another job? How did you get your first proper projects? And has anyone done a planned “build first, travel later” approach in their early 20s?

I’d really value honest advice – I feel very aware of security because of my past, but I don’t want fear to run my life either.

Why are you set on finishing a degree, if you have no intentions to work in that field? Surely you could leave that and spend the time doing something you actually want like interiors instead?

I can’t change my subject now, I’m too far in to the degree. I enjoy the subject, and I like the feeling of knowing that I am studying something ‘impressive’

Seem like you have such a good set up with housing, income and study and would not throw it away to go travelling. Its a glorified long holiday. If you had just finished your degree had no job or place to stay then its worth going for - most people parents are funding it.

I don't have a degree and it really restricts you if you want to change careers. I think doing a psychology degree can really help you in different types of career

As for interior design not my area! Doing up antiques etc more of a side line imo. Maybe do some free work for friends to build a portfolio

Dog grooming / walking is a solid business, branch out into dog psychology training with your degree you could focus on that and keep your sideline going with antiques etc. Photography always good to sell your business

Others can advise you far better on the interior design just my opinions

Get your degree. Stop worrying about "wasting your youth." This is your life and you are living it. Try to actively start managing stress it's not going to get better as you get older. Destressing and finding time to chill out will also alleviate the creativity problem you will give yourself time to find and follow ideas. Good luck!

But you're paying for this, correct?

I struggle a lot with stressing about things which I probably can’t change!

I think you sound super impressive and I would so proud of you were my daughter. Sounds like you’ve got loads of ideas and creativity and commitment to things whilst also being open and free with what life can bring.

Life is long and G-d willing there is plenty of time to do everything you want and more. Sounds like you are locked in to your degree/business and housing right now so I would finish that with the quiet knowledge that interior design is where you’re heading next. Get the degree, go travelling which will be very inspirational, come back take some ID qualifications (and also things like trades courses which are really useful in that industry, if you can paint/hang wall paper you will be much more employable) and see where that takes you.

More concerning is how stressed out you feel because you’re right, it doesn’t really translate. You’ve got a job which should be reasonably chilled, plenty of fresh air and exercise which is important for wellbeing, few money pressures so I’d look into that and how you can make now more enjoyable. Forget cleaning, get a cleaner (how much does boyfriend do?). Plan some weekends away. Offload a couple of the more challenging clients?

Eventually, yes

I’m going to make a very naive input here but I’m sure others will have better ideas .. I’d say build first, travel later.

I’d also say stop worrying about the future.
Get your degree done & dusted. Thats an amazing spring board and shows what you're capable of.

In the interim expose yourself to as many places you can where interior design is part of your visit. For example, new housing estate show houses and exhibitions for house building & associated interior design features. Read the books, buy the magazines, offer to help friends with colour schemes & mood boards. No information is ever lost or wasted. Use SM to advertise that youre looking for simple projects. For example I’ve got a NE facing room I’d like redesigned so someone like you would be very helpful & interesting to talk to.

When your degree is done, take stock then. You might want to travel to interesting countries to build up your knowledge of cultural influences and broaden your exposure. Then when you come home, do a full time course if you can afford it.

One step at a time. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

20 is very young you have plenty of time. What does your boyfriend do? Are there any interior design studios you could get an internship with? Could you look after your main dog grooming customer part time to keep a small income and intern somewhere part time, interior design sounds great but will you actually enjoy it when you get into it? It can be really difficult working with those sort of customers, they (think) they know what they want and compromises are not very fulfilling. And who wants to (can afford to) pay for that apart from the pretty rich that might be difficult to reach. And I suspect that would be equally stressful.

What are the job options from your degree? Are you managing to save money with the free house? I would try to build up your current business and see if you can find any opportunities to try out interior design with a placement (possibly unpaid) to see what is really entailed, you need to understand about colour and co-ordination and a lot about what is available in the market it is a whole other field, suppliers, etc, etc.

If you left now, is there financial implications?

I'm only asking as you sound like a smart, productive, focused and motivated young lady. Your current housing / job setup although not traditional seems to work really well... you have ambitions and although you find the forensic course interesting, I wonder would you be happier and less stressed if you could free up some time to do other interesting things like interiors that might eventually lead to financial gain?

There's lots of short term interior design courses, also spending your free time upcycling or visiting interior shops or showrooms, or drafting mood boards would be potentially relaxing for you and gain some great experience.

You say that " I want financial freedom, a nice home, dogs, a family, travel, respect, stability and peace"

We all want that but for most people it takes many many, many, years of hard work to get there.

If you re going to travel for a year obviously you will need to be able to fund that by working in bars on farms etc I assume. To me that seems like hard work.

I have to say that in the wider work environment psychology is not highly respected it is considered to be a soft humanities subject.

What you are experiencing now is the normal world of work which is stressful and time consuming and often involves dealing with demanding clients plus the domestics which leave little time for other things. That is just normal working life and what most of us must do to make money.

You seem to set a lot of store by being respected by other people. Please try to ignore that. The fact is most people are far too busy with their own lives and problems to think about what you are doing.

Personally I think the idea of dog grooming sounds great I know someone who does that and earns very good money.

Interior design sounds fluffy and interesting but is fiercely competitive and I do not see that you will be less stressed or have more spare time in that field.

Conversion rates from sales pitch to sales can be low. Potential clients will ask a number of firms to pitch you will be in a competitive bidding situation all the time and need strong sales skills.

Also be aware that AI is making inroads into all areas of design jobs which is only going to intensify.

To get clients you need to have a web site that shows what you can offer and be prepared to get on the phone to contact sales directors and housebuilding companies to try to arrange to give them a sales pitch.

You also need to advertise in local glossy mags that go to homes.

Life is a compromise if you travel you have a far more spartan existence than if you work but only you can say what is more important to you.

Part of me thinks we should stay put for a couple of years, save hard, I finish my degree, start an interior design qualification, maybe train in dog grooming, build some kind of portfolio quietly, and then travel once we have a solid financial buffer and plan. But I worry I’m being too cautious and missing out.

I think this is what you should do. You should definitely finish the degree and then reassess. I don't know anything about interior design or dog grooming! But once you have your degree you can consider training in something else. You have a place to live so that's something. Just be careful and to have a buffer in case the arrangement should come to an end at any point.
You can use the opportunity you have of having free accommodation to save as much as possible for the future.
What is your boyfriend doing? What's his income?

I think you are doing amazingly well, especially considering you were homeless at 17 and it's only 3 years on from that.
Taking a year off and travelling is a luxury and you only do that if you can really afford it. You can do it later. You aren't missing out.
I worked until early 30s and then became self-employed and now I take 8 weeks off every summer to do long-distance hiking plus a couple of weeks in the winter for cross-country skiing.

My boyfriend and I would also love to travel by campervan for a year after I finish my degree, before settling down. But I’m scared about how we’d earn money while travelling and what we’d do when we came back to the UK. The thought of coming back with no clear path really worries me.

Where are you planning to go in this campervan? Since Brexit the rules have changed and you can only stay in the Schengen area for 90 out of 180 days and then you have to wait 90 days to go back in unless you apply for a long-stay visa. It's not as easy as it used to be.
Some information and ideas here: https://rollingbothy.com/blog/resources/motorhome-europe-trip-longer-90-days

Impressive to who though? Why do you care what others think is impressive?

When i read your OP "I’m also studying Forensic Psychology"

My first thought was, "that's a pointless degree, as wont end up working in it".

Going travelling in a van for a year is massively over-romanticised.
It is no longer possible to drive far outside of Europe - because if you look at a map you will see where Russia and Iran are (plus Syria, Iraq, etc, and Libya in North Africa). This is no longer the 1960s when hippies drove a van to India.

I would suggest you build a solid career and get a good employer first, one where you get six weeks (30 days) of annual leave plus bank holidays, after working there five years. Then you can go on two-week or even three-week holidays to the places that really interest you, hire a car and explore when you get there.

Any degree is better than no degree to many employers today.

What do you mean about paying "eventually" for your OU degree? I've done several courses with them and all have had to be paid upfront.

I was going to say similar.

Image: ongoing conflicts around the world

Brown: Major wars, 10,000 or more deaths in current or past calendar year
Red: Wars, 1,000–9,999 deaths in current or past calendar year
Orange: Minor conflicts, 100–999 deaths in current or past calendar year
Yellow: Skirmishes and clashes, 1–99 deaths in current or past calendar year.

Article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_ongoing_armed_conflicts

Take into account the post-Brexit Europe restrictions, places where the local culture would be inimical to a woman's freedom to roam, and any other considerations such as whether you'd want to drink and dietary options - and it's not the carefree jaunt it used to be.

I agree it would be better to make planned expeditions, one destination at a time.

Student loan?

Ah, right. I'd not thought of student loan.

Tbf that context would have been helpful in your OP.

I don't know how realistic it is to want to go travelling after you get a degree (that you don't intend to use) and have to start repaying a student loan.

Studying and working are not really unusual things to be doing in your 20s. What is it you feel you are missing? It does sound like maybe you like rurally? Maybe living in a city with more social life would suit you better?

How many more years of degree are left? If you only have one year left you might as well get on with it.

As for travel, you can do that once the degree is done. You have no commitments in terms of mortgages and kids. Literally thousands of young people go travelling and work along the way to fund it.

Long term, I want financial freedom, a nice home, dogs, a family, travel, respect, stability and peace.

If you want all that then you have to work hard now. Stop worrying about wasting your youth, just live your life and work hard. It will make it easier later on to get all your long term plans

Fascinated that you think interiors design isn’t a very competitive , and uncertain career!

I suspect dog kennels // walking would be a more secure line long term. Which would allow you to build a financial buffer that it seems you really need before you think about anything else - everyone is different and some people are happy to wing it for a few years - especially if they have parents to fall back on