I can't be arsed to spend ages looking for sources. It's historically always been the mother as main abuser.
The biggest metastudy of DV to date also found that women perpetrate more DV than men despite not killing their partner as often. It was called the 'Partner Abuse State of Knowledge' and was conducted by over 100 academics from 20 universities in UK/US/Canada alongside DV organisations and charities. They reviewed over 10,000 studies and extrapolated the data from over 1200 peer reviewed studies. They have a website you can look at.
This is supported by dozens of other studies over the last 50 years. It's only government crime data which seems to consistently contradict it. Experts suggest that this is because men often don't officially report abuse for fear of being seen as 'weak', because they don't want to lose access to their children, and in the past simply because there were no support services for them so they'd end up homeless as men are usually bottom of the housing list - Mankind have done a lot of research on this and say men are 2.4x less likely to report DV than women.
Here's what Google says:
Yes, research indicates that mothers are frequently the main perpetrators of child abuse and neglect, largely because they are most often the primary caregivers. However, the data varies based on the type of abuse, with mothers more frequently associated with neglect and emotional abuse, while fathers and male partners are more often associated with sexual abuse and severe physical violence.
Neglect and Physical Abuse:
Research often finds that mothers are more likely to be involved in cases of neglect and physical abuse. One analysis indicated that roughly 40% of child victims were abused by their mothers acting alone, with 17.3% abused by both parents.
Understanding the Data:
While some reports, such as those from the U.S. Administration for Children and Families (ACF), have shown higher percentages of female perpetrators (around 52% in 2020), it is essential to look at the type of abuse and the context. Mothers are often the primary caregiver, meaning they spend more time with the child, which, when combined with stressors like poverty, can lead to higher rates of reported neglect or physical punishment.
In 2023, of people who perpetrated childhood maltreatment, more than three-quarters (76%) were parents to the victim(s), 52% were female, 47% were white, and 39% were between the ages of 25-34.
https://ojjdp.ojp.gov/statistical-briefing-book/victims/faqs/qa02111#:~:text=Data%20Analysis%20Tools&text=Q:%20Who%20perpetrates%20childhood%20maltreatment,the%20ages%20of%2025%2D34.
Females perpetrate CPA at higher rates but are less likely to severely injure the child than males.
Research focusing on the prevalence of gender differences among perpetrators
demonstrates that mothers and females are generally more likely than fathers or males to commit CPA (Behl et al., 2003; Cui et al., 2016, Chung & Su, 2009; Locke & Newcomb, 2004; Park, 2020, Mulder et al., 2018).
A literature meta-analysis by Behl and colleagues confirmed this
pattern of females being significantly more likely to be CPA perpetrators (2003).
Consistent with this pattern, adults who experienced child maltreatment report higher rates of child maltreatment from their mothers than from their fathers (Muller, 1995). This is particularly true when CPA is involved.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=web&rct=j&url=scholarworks.gvsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article%3D1825%26context%3Dhonorsprojects%23:~:text%3DGender%2520Difference%2520in%2520Perpetrators,true%2520when%2520CPA%2520is%2520involved.&ved=2ahUKEwjps4WtwY6TAxVLwQIHHepeFCwQmL8OegQIBxAI&opi=89978449&cd&psig=AOvVaw2_05Cr6k42_bigA0t79tTw&ust=1772997723077000
Mothers more were reported to be perpetrators of physical abuse or any type of child maltreatment against girls (χ2 = 19.93, 19.69 respectively p < 0.001). In contrast, more fathers (31.7%) than mothers (28.2%) practiced physical abuse against boys (χ2 = 4.81, p < 0.05).
In terms of frequency of child maltreatment, mothers perpetrated more frequent maltreatment (all types except neglect) against girls than fathers did (p values <0.05). Among boys, mothers also practiced more frequent non-violent discipline and psychological aggression.
Fathers were less likely than mothers to practice psychological aggression (OR = 0.81, 95% CI: 0.72–0.91) and corporal punishment (OR = 0.88, 95% CI: 0.79–0.99).
We found that boys are more vulnerable than girls to being physically maltreated, which is consistent with previous research findings. Liao et al. (2013) reviewed 24 studies and found that gender plays an important role in the occurrence of child maltreatment.
Mothers were more likely to be reported to practice of psychological aggression and corporal punishment, which is consistent with previous findings (Lansford et al., 2002; Tang, 2006). Straus and Field (2003) also reported that in some regions of the U.S., mothers used more psychological aggression than fathers.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7485598/
Table 3 shows that for all survivors aged 16 to 59 of psychological abuse during childhood, the perpetrator was most likely to have been the survivor’s mother (40%) or father (35%). Men were equally likely to have been abused by their fathers (38%) or their mothers (38%), whereas women were more likely to have experienced psychological abuse by their mothers (42%) than their fathers (33%). Overall, the perpetrators of psychological abuse were likely to be within the immediate family of the survivor.
https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/articles/abuseduringchildhood/findingsfromtheyearendingmarch2016crimesurveyforenglandandwales#:~:text=Table%203%20shows%20that%20for,immediate%20family%20of%20the%20survivor.