Are private schools better for neurodiverse children?

[ASDstrife]

I realise this is a big generalisation, and of course it will depend on many factors including needs and the specific school.

However, in general, would you say private schools are better than state for students who are neurodiverse? Specifically ‘high-functioning’ autistic children or those with ADHD, who would otherwise be expected to go to mainstream state.

Of course private schools achieve better outcomes for the vast majority of children, ND or not. They often spend 2-3 more per child.

The state can't afford to allocate resources to that.

My dd was like this (only diagnosed at 13) but it became much more of an issue when she was 13/14 with high anxiety - common in high functioning high masking autists. To be honest she isn't keen on the "hub" but really gets a lot from the various clubs and ability to do things like languages speaking 1:1 (she was mute in front of her class). It's better to have these things just in case as they do change a lot in secondary!

All based on the kids being suitable for mainstream:

For 'high functioning' ASD (the quiet, studious types that need calm, clear rules, etc) - yes, a good private will give them the environment in which they can soar. Need a good one though - and not all privates are good.

For ADHD - depends on how it presents. Mild inattentive ADHD is OK in private, as is mild/medium hyperactivity in a private boys school. But severe ADHD has not, in my experience, been welcome and I've seen parents told that they either have to pay for a 1:1 or move their child. They always move.

I've looked to see if my own AuDHD child would function better in private, but actually state is better for kids like her. Not necessarily for the rest of the class though...

I think it depends wholly on the school and the SEN.

DS is a quiet, relatively high achiever, rule following y13 boy with ASD and dyspraxia. He’s happy at his academically selective, medium size, independent secondary school, the only allowance he has is extra time in exams. He isn’t doing well there socially, but he says he’s happy, and it’s hard to create a school social network for 18 year olds if they can’t create it for themselves, so we create that out of school instead. It’s worked very well for him, as he likes the structure, responds well to high expectations academically and behaviourally, and its small enough for him to feel secure.

Depends entirely on the school and the needs of the child

Depends on the size of the school and how high functioning the student is. I intended to send my autistic child to a private school due to the small class sizes and individualised support. My child is very significantly autistic so it wouldn’t have worked but when we enrolled them in the preschool they were too young to be diagnosed and although we could see there was a developmental delay it was too early to tell how they would be affected as they got older. The school closed a year later and we decided on mainstream preschool and school, it was honestly the best thing that could have happened. I found that although the staff at the private school were very well intentioned and did their best, the knowledge and resources in the mainstream sector was far better. There is often such a narrow intake of students at private schools that they just don’t have the experience of SEND. There is also a bit of a resistance to learn as they excel in other areas due to the individual support and superior facilities they can’t fathom that there would be anything to improve on and they don’t particularly understand inclusion. We couldn’t have had a better experience in mainstream, but it also depends on the school. I think class sizes are so important for autistic children. We go to a village school with small classes. Good luck with your decision

Mine has thrived at a private secondary. She is a very competent ‘high functioning’ autistic girl who loves all the co-curricular activities. She finds it
much easier to stay regulated in a small class where the behaviour is much better than her big state primary (and we were at about 80%
attendance). She got a bursary but it’s still hard for us to afford it - absolutely worth every penny though for her to be happy at school.

Thank you for asking this question.

My likely high functioning high masking autistic son (not diagnosed yet but half my family are diagnosed auties and he ticks so many diagnostic criteria) had no problems at primary. It wasn't small but it was exceptionally well managed. It's come crashing down around our ears at secondary school. The school is struggling to balance the needs of children who are disruptive because of their special needs and their desire to be a rules focused. My son is white by the time he comes home, sometimes covered in mud because he's physically collapsed and in severe head pain. We've found some solutions, suggested by the school, but not all teachers let him use them - and it's the teacher with the most disruption in her lessons who refuses completely.

I'm watching my child who is generally just the happiest kid on the planet, if quite self contained, just break because holding it together through 6 hours of noise and disruption a day is too much for him.

Private school is achievable for us but not without major lifestyle changes (read selling our house and downsizing) and he's not an only child so it's hard. But every experience in this post has resonated

I think autistic DC can thrive in small classes , spacious classrooms with good natural lighting, wider corridors and staircases(less bustling) , open spaces like large grounds. Probably better behaved less disruptive pupils.
I think its primarily the sensory environment that is so much better.
State schools, particularly secondary are overwhelming.
My autistic DCs went to.state schools but one crashed out and couldnt cope, their cousins also autistic went to private school and managed much better, unfortunately we couldnt afford it.

I think they can be but it will depend on the school. You still have to do your research.

I wonder if there are private schools who openly select by behaviour? I.e. large class sizes but no disruptive children = low cost?

The sort of school that selects by academic ability, probably wouldn’t take such a child anyway, if it’s going to be at all disruptive or need too much ‘special’ time.

Other private schools will. Very near here is one (a secondary school) that certainly takes children who wouldn’t pass entry criteria for many schools in the area. Its motto - painted on its vehicles - makes that very clear.

I think for very high functioning children with SEN, possibly due to smaller class sizes etc.

But outside of that, I'm not convinced. The private schools around here are all clearly excellent schools. But there doesn't seem to be much tolerance of diversity. It's traditional academics curriculum and traditional sports. Children need to be able to fit into at least one of these, and do so easily. My DS would have been ostracised and excluded for a large part of his schooling. Ironically, as he's overcome a lot of his challenges, I think private school for A Levels COULD be good for him - smaller class sizes and he's now able to function "normally" and less likely to be a target as a result.

Friends DS went to private and then another private school. Did well academically, made not one friend in any of them. Which is what she really wanted more than anything. I would look for a school regardless of state or private with good pastoral care.

Yes of course! Private schools have smaller classes, can provide tailored support more easily, are MUCH better at identifying possible issues and pushing for diagnosis (of course they will charge you…) and then putting the right support in place.

And at secondary level, private schools will very happily lobby to get a marginal diagnosis confirmed so a child can have extra time in exams - this is very valuable and there are plenty of well-paid assessors who will give an adhd diagnosis.

Pastoral care can’t make other kids be friends with your kid. There is absolutely no guarantee that a state school would have served these children better. And it’s a mistake to believe that state schools all have excellent pastoral care - plenty don’t.

No. My friend who is a dyslexia teacher and tutor almost exclusively tutors private ed tutees. The parents complain without fail about paying triple for education. Once in their taxes, once in school fees, and once in tutoring fees (because the private school their child goes to doesn't support their SEN enough and they need top-up tutoring).

I'm sure there are some great private schools. But the vast majority do little additional SEN support.

Yes, smaller classes. Yes, probably better behaviour (due to excluding/not accepting children with behaviour / SEN behaviour). But that isn't specifically SEN support.

@ReadingCrimeFiction that’s true , round here there are three private schools with an excellent rep for helping kids with SEN. One has a small farm onsite and the kids spend a lot of time outdoors with animals - it’s a fabulous school. Another has a very relaxed approach and actually advertises itself as being ideal for ND kids - it does get results, but as a by-product of helping the kids, not as the driving ambition of the school.

Depends on the school. The one near me likes to offload neurodivergent and learning difficulty students because they affect their exam results negatively. The groups I attend for neurodivergent families are full of families whose kids are having a tough time at independents...one boy was told he could stay because he wasn't autistic enough!!!!

And they are right - he needs specialist provision. Mainstream hardly ever works for a nonverbal child.

There's stacks of money in it for them though, they'll just charge you for all the extra support etc

My DD is at a small private school. I think the benefit for ND kids there are the small class sizes and the fact that there basically aren’t behaviour problems, so a lot of the social difficulties and distractions aren’t there for them to have to cope with and navigate.

Her school tho is very clear they are not a specialist SEN school. If you’re bright and high functioning they can (and do) support but they’re not in the business of dealing with more profound needs. For the kids they are equipped to support the provision is amazing. A couple of people in her year have been supported by the school to find alternative private options that can better cater to the kids’ needs.

I think some people think private is a silver bullet for SEN but it’s just a different set of challenges to navigate, and when you’re buying an education the school doesn’t have the same obligation to provide schooling like state doesn’t so it is different.