Are private schools better for neurodiverse children?

[ASDstrife]

I realise this is a big generalisation, and of course it will depend on many factors including needs and the specific school.

However, in general, would you say private schools are better than state for students who are neurodiverse? Specifically ‘high-functioning’ autistic children or those with ADHD, who would otherwise be expected to go to mainstream state.

Not a one size fits all, obviously. Depends on how the neurodiversity presents, the severity etc.

As others have said, private schools aren’t mandated to support neurodiversity.

But smaller class sizes, (generally) better behaviour and more tailored approaches to teaching will positively compensate in many cases.

My daughter is ADHD and thriving in her private school and I am fairly sure she would have struggled in a large state secondary. But another child with a different manifestation could have a very different experience.

Ultimately it’s about the child and the school and their compatibility.

Only for mild SEN. Private schools don’t want any child with significant SEN and they generally manage them out to mainstream.

As others have said if your child is high functioning and won't need a 1:1 or a huge amount of extra support then yes most private schools will be better for them.

Depends on the school. I went to private school, was undiagnosed ADHD but diagnosed depression and they were awful. I went from straight As at gcse to not being able to do any homework and I was accused of being lazy, a pathological liar etc. etc. not one person thought to ask what was going on with me that led to the change.

A really popular private school in the city I live in does not take any children with SEN. A friend of ours sends their daughter there but their younger son is autistic, non verbal and they won’t accept him.

No, some are, some aren't ...every school is different.

If the younger child is non verbal it sounds as though they probably have more profound needs and would likely need a specialist provision (not mainstream)

Private schools want more children through the door and want children who get good grades. High functioning ASD children are usually the brightest of the bright. Attend the international maths olypiad and you’d have to hunt out the NT child. My child struggles with textures and the uniform was a big concern but the private schools are looking at falling rolls and were only too happy to work with us to find a uniform choice that was acceptable to both sides.

Somebody said upthread that private schools won’t take more severe Sen (eg needing a 1 to 1.), my sons are at a mainstream private and there a few kids who have 1 to 1 support, including my younger son.

The issue is that while it’s theoretically possible to get the LA to fund that 1 to 1 via an EHCP it’s incredibly hard - there’s no legal reason why they can’t fund that within a private school (if they would otherwise be funding it within a state school) but you have to be willing to go to tribunal as they’ll really resist.

In most cases the parents pay extra for the 1 to 1, so obviously parents in that situation will usually opt for state sector instead.

Private mainstream schools will prefer not to take kids with high levels of need (like non verbal) that state mainstreams are now obligated to take, that’s absolutely true. So higher levels of need will get funnelled into the state system.

But the majority of kids that are neurodiverse don’t have that level of need, and will generally do better with smaller class sizes etc.

I’m sorry, that’s just not how it works anymore! I work for the local autism support group and can think of 5 non verbal or only barely verbal kids in mainstream off the top of my head, the teachers are doing their best with using visual communications etc. Being non verbal is not enough to get you a place in special school now.

I know that, I’m explaining to the poster why the private school would have taken the NT sibling and not the younger one who is non-verbal.

Yes as long as the private school is small classes, good pastoral care, SEN support, and no loud bells at end of each class etc so it really depends on the private school. My DD16 AuDHD thrived in her small all girls private school. Shes now doing well at a small state 6th form college.

Our local state school is massive, loud and a shitshow for SEN

Suspected ASD DC goes to a small independant. Was the right decision. We looked at all our state options and all would have very likely given us a school refuser. Large class sizes often badly controlled. Dull forced learning. Instead we have a child who enjoys school, has a small class size of 12, an amazingly engaged and suportive teacher and lots of different opportunities for learning. It will depend very much on the school and i feel incredibly lucky to give them that opportunity.

Yes I think it's a great environment for high functioning and high masking ND kids. The problem is that many parents are in total denial or get viscerally angry at the suggestion that ND children have different levels of needs, when in reality it's completely, bleedingly obvious. There's a huge cohort of ND children who are intellectually clever, good at masking, have reasonable social skills but suffer from anxiety, RSD or sensory issues that leads them to struggle at big mainstream schools. They just need a smaller class, more understanding teachers and possibly more friend who share their special interests to thrive. Those are adults who were the "geeky/emo/quirky kids" in the 90s and easily went undiagnosed.

Trying to send a non-verbal child to a private school obviously doesn't guarantee a good result because the staff aren't equipped to deal with that. Same for ND children whose behaviours are constantly disruptive or even dangerous to others. Some parents also don't realise that ND doesn't equate to SEN and vice versa. Some ND kids are academically very clever and require no learning support. If anything, the smartest kid in every class is almost certainly neurodiverse. Private schools love smart kids who don't cause trouble and they can offer a calmer, more regulated environment in return.

Depends on the school. A top London school was a disaster for a friend's ASD son. They took him because he was very bright and his results would have looked good for them, but they were totally unable to cope with his ASD traits and eventually, after the school did a lot of damage to him emotionally and academically, he did not stay for sixth form and went state instead, which has been much better.

In my very recent experience if the private school my AuDHD child went to was to close, it would be nothing more than it deserved. Failed DD16 immeasurably.

Funny thing is my DD16 did so well at hers until they merged with a large very well known all girls school the year of her GCSEs last summer and so her last year was really hard. It was perfect until then. Headington is a bloody awful school if you are ND but the one she was at before they merged was amazing.

It really does depend on the school. Pick very carefully OP.

How can you pick the right one? In what way was the new school awful?

@Jesuismartin it was post merger. All the girls from the original school had to go to the larger campus. Class sizes too big, a very loud bell after each period, SEN team were crap, no pastoral care (clue it was all about the academics and the boarders income) Her previous school that I actually picked, class sizes of 12, 3 classes per year, great pastoral care and SEN department. You really have to do your homework BUT sometimes things like mergers happen. In hindsight I could have moved her and brought her back a year, but decided it was too problematic away from her friends.

I find it incredibly frustrating that state schools cannot recognise that if they want kids to thrive (ND or not) it’s vital to provide a safe, calm environment. This is basic stuff. If a child cannot be in a classroom without howling in despair, throwing chairs or ripping up kids work they need to be educated elsewhere. You’d have thought that was obvious but schools all over the UK are moving towards endlessly disruptive classrooms in the name of ‘inclusion’.

@Jesuismartin you can see the school's % of SEN on the government websites (seems to be the only thing about private schools that the govt actually keeps a full record of). I'd look for a school with around 20% SEN + so that you know they can diagnose and will probably be supporting properly. That is how I would weed out any that looked good on paper but might not suit in reality. One girls school website was huge on SEN support and made it seem that it was really set up for it, but in reality one older woman was struggling to remember names and keep up to date with some very complex needs children which resulted in a far worse situation than it would have been if they had been more aware of their capacity for SEN. It was obvious looking around that she was the sum total of their SEN "support" whereas other schools have break out rooms, sensory hubs and will have 1:1 support and specialist clubs.

State schools probably do recognise that to be honest but I don’t think they have much choice!

Thanks. I don’t think mine would really need anything specific like a sensory room. More of a quiet high achiever.

All of the smaller private schools near me are closing so I would be reluctant to pick one of those anyway. A sudden closure at GCSE year must be devastating.

I think it really depends on the child and the school. A highly competitive London day school might be great for a high functioning, very bright ASD child who loves competition (I know quite a few of those) - but would be less good for an ND child who doesnt thrive on pressure or competition like my own child. In fact, the main reason for us moving next to a nice state school is that although my kid could probably pass the exams - he hates pressure and competition. Another friend's son who has inattentive adhd is similarly not motivated by competition and cant handle sports due to dispraxia.