to ask this without expecting a backlash?

[Fleurflowering]

I know that people will accuse me of being goady etc, but I would like to ask these questions without a tirade of hate being posted at me. I'm genuinely ignorant about this and want to understand it better.

I was born in 1978. When I was at school, there was a flicker of a mention of autism, but it didn't seem to be commonplace.

Did children have autism? Did ADHD exist then? Or are these new problems and why have they arisen?

Every school class seems to have children with SEND - autism being very common. But, when I was at school, there were "Remedial" classes, but behaviour was nowhere near as bad as it seems to be nowadays and teachers didn't need to differentiate lessons like they have to now. I hear so many people saying that their kids are on the spectrum, or that they themselves have autism.

I also don't remember any school refusers. Is this a new mental health symptom, or are children more autonomous and possibly less resilient nowadays?

I know I'll be flamed, but I'm not denying these conditions exist. I'm trying to learn whether they are new or not.

My husband watched the Chris Packham documentary following the adults with autism.

He related so strongly to the young woman who masked all day and had to go home at night and stare at the wall and rock, that he cried.

He is on the surface an entirely unemotional, stoic, (almost certainly autistic) Yorkshireman.

Hiding in plain sight!

I get upset for past generations when I look at things my DS struggles with. He would of been hurt by his teachers and labelled as stupid

He's got dyspraxia, dyslexia, hypermobile and on a waiting list for adhd/autism assessment. Hes the first boy to ever get diagnosed with these things, but there must of been hundreds before him who never got the support they needed

I was born in the 1950s, looking back there were definitely people with autism and adhd. They weren't diagnosed, but were called odd or eccentric or naughty. I could state categorically, that they had all the traits, and that today they would be diagnosed. It just wasn't something that was done then.

Well that wasn't my experience.

My DC's assessment (which cost us nearly) 3 grand, took most of a day, was carried out by an NHS paediatrician and SALT (they run a charity doing this), was based on years of evidence of difficulties and was done to NICE criteria.

Even though we paid, we had to wait months.

The EHCP took 2 years and a huge amount of paperwork.

We had around 10 years of violence from our child directed at us (she was able to mask in school just about).

Easy?!

None of this is easy!

FASD shows direct harm from the mum caused in utero so kind of obvious why the diagnoses are generally only sought in adoption cases. The guilt and judgement must be awful.

I studied psychology at A level in 1993 and can remember autism having two paragraphs in my Gross and being described as 'locked -in syndrome'. A brief mention of Asperger's as a mild disorder. Uni was no different, with brief descriptions of mute children obsessing over building blocks. Nobody really seemed to study autism and it certainly wasn't deemed important enough to learn about.

Today, Autism Studies could easily be a degree subject in its own right.

I can't speak for PIP because I have no experience with that yet as my son is still a child but at least with DLA, that isn't the case at all.

It is about care needs, not diagnosis. A child may have a diagnosis but not have care needs high enough to be eligible for DLA whilst the next child may not have a diagnosis but has high care needs so receives high rate DLA.

My mum was born in the 40s, her and her brother I'm sure had autism, and my grandmother (I and my cousin are diagnosed)

My mum was vulnerable, socially very naive and anxious and went from one abusive relationship to another. My uncle was 'odd' and a bachelor, couldn't hold down a job (tried, but always felt he was bullied, I think he often got into arguments because of misunderstandings) Always wanted marriage, always lonely. Both were labelled as lazy or naughty in school.
My grandmother was talked about in hushed tones as being 'cold' and not maternal, requiring my grandad to step in a lot (unheard of in that era). She preferred hobbies and wanted to work in 'mens jobs' with planes after being in the WAF. She was shipped off to a mental hospital a couple of times, especially around the time of the menopause.

My experience hasn't been great, but I really feel for past generations. Autism was definitely there, and just as disabling as it is today.

Your post is really interesting, a friend has a lad with ASD and the only support he really needs is to be allowed to just 'be', if you get what I mean. Another pal's son is non verbal and frequently refuses to walk.

Does lumping these boys together under one umbrella really benefit them? One is very capable yet has been dismissed because of his ASD many times. The other boy has often been described as 'just a naughty boy'.

I know it's a spectrum but I do wonder if more definition/classification is needed? If only to attempt to dispel common myths/misinformation.

It's tricky because at the same time when it used to be Asperger's vs autism then that caused issues as well which is a reason why it was redefined to autism only.

By the same token so then being gay is just a new found trend too cos nobody I went to school with in the 70's was gay. Some of the responses on here are just wow.

I don't think "spectrum" means what a lot of people think it means. It's more like a colour wheel. You can be gifted in some areas (DH is very academically able; DD is sporty) while having significant impairments in others (DH struggles with people; DD has a bunch of sensory problems).

People aren't located on a line from 0/10 autistic to 10/10 or something.

But by that notion wouldnt then everyone be autistic/adhd etc etc?

Although interestingly Kinsey thought human sexuality might work a little like that...

Nooo because most people don't have significant deficits in any of the 3 relevant areas.

That is EXACTLY what I mean in terms of misunderstanding it.

"The everyone's a little bit autistic" fallacy.

Everyone isn't! Any more than everyone's a little bit pregnant.

Yes, there were school refusers. You didn't know them because you were in school and they weren't.

We had children who were pigeon-holed as naughty or thick or weird because they simply needed information in a certain way, or interacted (or didn't) with other people in a certain way or became overwhelmed because of sensory processing issues. I prefer a world where they have the support they need.

I think there is a danger of the more able neurodivergent children and young people and adults skewing the conversation away from those who need a higher level of support.

My nan is autistic and ADHD.

I read her school report the other day, she would have been 11.

In a nutshell across all lessons:

• A very slow worker
• Limited vocabulary
• Poor understanding
• Very disappointing result
• Lacks concentration
• Works 'spasmodically' (sudden, brief and irregular bursts)
• If she could learn to concentrate would show a marked improvement

Now, this was 1961. Nowadays, I doubt she would have just been left to it. She left school believing she was stupid and slow which is really sad.

Indeed. It is the autistic spectrum.
If you aren't autistic - you aren't anywhere on it at all!

I wasnt trying to be rude, more of a lack of understanding on my part.

So if someone shows 1 aspect of the spectrum on the colour wheel would they be classed as autistic, and isnt the spectrum so varied that infact someone could have 1 trait that doesnt affect their life yet could still be diagnosed autistic and if so what benifit would they gain from this.

I think possibly also people are trying to medicalise normal behaviour.

I was chatting to a mum recently who said her son’s adhd started when she gave birth to her second child, around age two. Up to then, he was a normal child but when dc2 was born, he acted up.

However, many moons ago, when my cohort were having their second child, we all knew that the first born’s behaviour was likely to deteriorate, as our attention was away from them, and was now with the baby, coupled with elements of jealousy, coping with the new situation etc.

So the child in the first situation was ‘diagnosed’ with adhd, rather than his challenging behaviour being sorted.,

That’s interesting thinking it as a colour wheel, rather than a linear line. Puts a different slant on it.

What is autism https://share.google/C3YGXl8Hr92CnvUyi

There is lots of good quality information about this on the websites of the autistic charities and the NHS.

It is extremely unlikely someone would be diagnosed as autistic if it didn't affect their life. Why would they seek an assessment in the first place?

And in fact I'm sure not everyone autistic does.

There are arguments for and against diagnosis.

If you actually take the time to talk to and listen to those of us with diagnosed children you'd quickly find we've experienced some quite extreme things.

I have stopped actually telling people for the most part as they start looking worried and back away.

Autism is a social and communication disability present since childhood.

Other things that autistic people often experience are black and white thinking, obsessive interests, sensory needs etc. However if you have any of these aspects and don't meet the criteria for a S&C disability since childhood, you're not autistic. That's how it was explained to me by the psychologist when I was assessed.

It's also worth keeping in mind that it might not be obvious whether something is affecting someone's life. I have a full time job, reasonably decent pay, I mask well. You wouldn't know that I structure my life to have enough down time to decompress, sometimes after talking to people all day I honestly have to sit and stare in silence on my own for a while. I have deliberately avoided going for promotions because I know I wouldn't cope despite performing well and often being expected to achieve. I am child free by choice, but again that choice is knowing I could not cope with the noise and unpredictability of children. I will go without food if I means avoiding a situation such as having to visit a new restaurant or shop where I'm unfamiliar with the layout.

People don't need to be living with their parents and unemployed for something to have a significant impact on their lives.