To say that when dating, you should never tell a man you’re alone is this world?

[WaryLilacRaven]

Whether or not it’s true, don’t say you’re estranged from your family or that you don’t have a strong support system. It may sound like honesty but it can paint you as vulnerable and easier to manipulate.

If you don’t have a present father figure, invent one. A watchful uncle. A retired pastor. A protective godfather. Someone whose name you can casually drop in conversation. Not to deceive but to protect.

AIBU to think that for women especially, perceived aloneness can be a liability when dating and sometimes a fictional father figure is safer than telling the truth?

This.

Bizarre advice.

I'm 60. I'm not sure an invented protective 85-100 year old father figure would put the willies up a potential abuser.

On the other hand, my 50 year old female mate could terrify anyone if need be (even though she's lovely).

If the person you're dating becomes a partner you would surely have to reveal, eventually, that you had invented this protector? He might be offended that you assumed he was out to do you harm. I wouldn't necessarily tell a first date that I live alone any more than I would tell them my address but I don't think outright lying is a good idea.

It makes no sense, why on earth would a female need to lie? we keep on being told women are as intellligent as men but I am less and less seeing evidence of this

If a woman can't stand on her own 2 feet when dating she needs to stop, we left Jane Austen back when it was written or I would have thoguth so

Are women not responsible for their own decisions and thoughts or do they need men to do their thinking for them?

?

Sorry what? This is even more batshit than the OP.

That isn't how abuse works.

'A watchful uncle' also sounds to me like the kind of uncle you'd always avoid having to hug at Christmas.

@WaryLilacRaven i can understand but then you could say eg 3 lies but then those lies have to be true,

The abusers are good at hiding their red flags. Sometimes there are no red flags. Red flags, by their nature, would be obvious. That is why they are called Red Flags. Narcissistic people hide behind charm. These words sounds like you're putting the 'blame' on the abused when it is the abuser who acts. It doesn't matter if woman are vulnerable or strong. Either can be a challenge to the abuser.