To be worried in case our troops end up at war?

[CarriedAWayy]

We are a military family. I met DH when I was 19, some nearly 20 years ago now. DH has done some operational tours in that time but we now have two children and I am more fearful of war now than ever. I know this is part and parcel of being married to a soldier, but it doesn’t change the worry and fear.

As it happens, my husband is currently deployed and contact is minimal, so I can’t talk to him about my fears. I can’t really ask anyone in my circle, because I don’t want to push my worries onto my friends who are in the same position.

What do people think the likelihood is of our soldiers ending up at war again?

YABU - it’s unlikely to happen
YANBU - it’s likely to happen

maybe because it has been in theory if a group is always trying to build one etc

I’m not sure obviously but I’m optimistic that it won’t be all out war at least from a U.K. and European perspective. My dc is in the military and minimal contact currently for operational reasons

Being married makes a big difference when they're away, things like POA, accompanied tours, extra pay etc.

I was just commenting because I see a lot of people complaining about being military girlfriends and not getting the same benefits.

I do trust Starmer to be sensible, he’s not going to drag us into anything without good reason and he’s in constant contact with the French and Germans to get get good perspective.

I had my own job and flat. Glad I didn't marry him else 7 years later he'd have got half my property

Yes but ultimately it is mostly, other than ceremonial guard stuff, bands, and very few other select roles it is all to maintain operational readiness be that deployment to war zones or disaster relief.

I get that you are worried but ultimately you need to find peace with this is out of yours and your husband's control and sitting worrying is adding pressure to you both. I do feel for military kids because they are the only ones in this situation that truly didn't choose this situation my dad would go away for 6-9 months at a time and that was so destabilising.

You can't choose who you fall in love with but we aren't animals we can have discussions and engage with the reality of military life is for us and therefore end the relationship.

My son served 15 years.. been out 6 years now. He has liability. Am I worried?
You bet I am. Along with all the other military mums,, wives, husbands and kids. Hopefully it wont happen but who knows x
Stay strong everyone!!

Have you ever considered being grateful to those who sign up, that they and their families shoulder the risks of protecting our country so that you’re sons, brothers, husbands don’t have to?

There is far more involved than what you have listed, and as a service child yourself, I’m sure you know that?

I've served in two militaries, one that is far more active than the British forces, I am well aware of what the forces do. I've done it, have friends that still do it. The military is their to fight and protect they have jobs within that but ultimately those jobs are to ensure the unit as a whole can fight and protect.

Also just as an aside as you've only listed male relatives women have served in militaries around the world for many many years, please don't erase our service. Thank you.

Sorry OP, but this lost my support. I come from a military family and live in a military area, I thoroughly dislike the attitude that everyone should be grateful to our family members who have chosen the military life. I don’t want anyone to be grateful to me and mine andI find it very uncomfortable when people demand this of theirs. Lots of people do hard and dangerous jobs and don’t expect this sort of attitude. Come on now, it doesn’t help.

I mentioned sons, husbands and brothers, not to erase the work of women in the armed forces, it is because conscription to combatant roles has only historically affected males.

I don’t care for gratitude either, but my comment was in response to the poster suggesting the option of ending the relationship because the person you have fallen in love with is a soldier. I believe that this poster would benefit from considering finding some gratitude for the sacrifices others willingly make.

I don’t think it’s that they never learn. Some people have much to gain from war. Any war. The money made from arms trade is obscene.

Not at all. I know what our military does, and I’m not diminishing your feelings, just saying they need to be managed.

Nope I was conscripted as a woman again it's ok to admit you were wrong.

It's scary being a military partner/kid/parent no one decent would argue otherwise. However, that fear does have to be managed if it becomes overwhelming then yes conversations do need to happen be that end of career or relationship.

The only job within the forces who isn't preparing to be combat ready is the chaplain, who is getting ready to deploy to a warzone or disaster area without a weapon to support forces personnel at their hardest moments.

Our 19 yr old + 2 mates liberated Kuwait. He told us. He is no longer serving or on the Reserve List.
Trump has taken on a very difficult task. Even after the recent blood shedding in Iran there is no organised opposition to the Regime in Tehran. No rebellions in the Army, no defections from the Gendarmerie. No easy way of getting arms to an opposition group.

Huge hugs and stay strong to all those serving, have served, significant OH, DC or parent serving.
DD joined Royal Navy last year and is still in phase 2 AET training which should finish around October.
I lived in Bahrain for 5 years and still have friends there s

Its just life as a military family. Have they not done tours of Iraq, Afghanistan etc?
Personally I was super careful about sharing my worries with dh. He had enough on his plate. SSAFA can be really helpful on the welfare front.
If they are away in warzone. You just take one day at a time. Expect minimal contact as not allowed access at times

I don’t have any useful insight to contribute to the question OP asked I’m afraid, but I did want to jump on to say thank you to all those who are serving our country on our behalf and to their families like OP. We are grateful.

OP there's a military wives board on MN I think... haven't been in there for ages