Am I being delusional?

[sillygoose111]

I feel like I know the answer but I need a word of encouragement and maybe someone else to share their experience.

I’m 28F who’s been very independent since I left home at 19, I have a child who’s soon to be 5.

Unfortunately life has been lifing and I’m left in a situation to decide what to do next after a breakup to make sure I can provide the best life for the both of us. I’m down to two options and I guess I want a positive perspective to feel that I’m not absolutely failing as a mother.

1. I could stay were we live now and keep her in the school were she started in September (she’s in reception) and claim UC. However although I’d have more independence, my own space, this option would limit my ability to save and overall it would be harder to move on in life.
2. Move in with my grandma and uncle who’s looking after her (we are similar age with him and have a good relationship). I’d be able to save as much as I can as majority of my earning will go to savings. But that means changing school for the little one. I’m so scared she will have a hard time. I know that I would be doing this for our future but still I feel so much guilt and as if I’d fail her.

It wouldn’t be permanent but 1-2 years for me to hopefully to be able to save for a deposit and buy something for ourselves. Until then we would share a room.

As I said before I just want some advice/encouragement or for someone to tell me if I’m being completely delusional.

Thank you!

Option 2.

• she will make new friends easily at that age.

• you can save lots of money for deposit which you won't be able to do while claiming UC. Even if you could, they'd stop it once you've got a certain amount in bank. Like you say, you can move forward in life and secure your future.

I'm doing option 2 as we speak. My daughter loves the nightly 'sleepovers'. This is a really good opportunity for me to get us on the housing ladder which I will never get again.

Option 1 or you’ll be looking after everyone.

@Douchey thank you, I wish you all the best and I have no doubt you will both enjoy your new journey ❤️

Your child is only 5, they have only been going to school for 6 months in all, changing schools is going to have very little or no impact. Children are very adaptable, you can definitely move on without guilt.

Option 2 so you can save. At 5 children will happily adapt to a new school and make friends. She’ll more than likely really enjoy the extra company of your uncle and grandma and actually, it’ll be fun sharing a room (and easier at 5 than any other age). The lack of your own space and privacy for a couple of years is a small price to pay for future financial security.

Whichever way you decide I wish all the best for you - it sounds like you’ve got your shit together and are a great mum, who’s prepared to make sacrifices short term for a more secure and settled childhood long term and better future for you both.

@Twatterati I can’t thank you enough for your kind words. I really appreciate it and really needed to hear this ❤️

Option 2.

Good luck!

I'm option 2.

This could be your only opportunity to really knuckle down and save to secure your future. DD is super young. She will be absolutely fine.

If you're worrying about failing as a mum, it usually means you aren't!

Option 2
The only thing I would be wary of is if you moving in would disrupt UC (if they get it)for your uncle and GM - though I realise you could make up the shortfall with your wages.
You may actually be entitled to some UC yourself even while living there which could be a help for a while getting on your feet. Remember you can have up to 16k of savings before UC is stopped.

Definitely option 2. I think you need this.