To not let my 12 year old hand around in the town centre

[Twooclockrock]

12 year old son is in a huge mood as we have said no to letting him go and hang around in the town centre with friends.
A teen family member was stabbed two weeks ago nearby but not in the town centre (non life threatening) , his cousin was mugged in the town centre not long ago, and a friends son age 17 was approached by a group of kids who produced a knife and told him to get out of their area only three weeks ago.
Plus we have had several letters home from school saying to stay out of the highstreets due to the school wars thing going on this past week.
London suburbs, relatively nice area but bordered by some not so nice areas and the town centre is a known hang out for gangs.
It feels so restricting and mean to say no, but I am concerned for his safety and think it's not worth it.
Do you let your tween/tern hang out in the toen centre? Ie walk around the shops, grab some food etc? It used to be the main event of a saturday for me when I was his age.

I'm guessing it's something like Wembley or Harrow? There are indeed lots of undesirables hanging out there in gangs at all hours. A 12 yo absolutely NOT go there without adult presence, even in day time. Just asking for trouble.

No-one said it was a big issue (in fact you seem to be making it into one).

People were surprised and curious as to why the OP had banned her 12 year old from eating it.

Clearly you've never been to many London inner suburbs lately. My friend's teenage son was beaten up and robbed in the fancy new Wembley pedestrianised zone, during the day. They actually chased him all the way to his apartment block (they live nearby) and caught up right by the door. The building "security" did FA. Robberies and stabbing don't warrant the front pages anymore.

You are absolutely right OP. McD is absolutely vile. I've worked in their UK HQ years ago, saw the product economics, sourcing policies etc - this is the lowest-quality, cheapest slop they can possibly get away with. Kudos re: 5 Guys and Nandos. Even in terms of "cheap" fast food, Burger King and KFC are way better. Don't let some of the clueless posters bully you about your parenting choices.

My dc going to town all the time but never just to hang around. They go round the shops, buy bubble tea, go to McDonald’s etc then leave. I don’t think it would cross their mind just to hang about outside. I’d say no to that

to add they also go to wingstop. Don’t really see the difference myself but each to their own. Banning things with dc never ends well though. What if there was a party and parents took them there after for instance?

No my kids have never hung around the streets either. I did as a child, and know what I was getting up to at 12. We live in South London too, and have also received the same email, so absolutely stick to the no for now. My youngest is 18 this month and grateful none particularly wanted to hang around the streets anyway, but in this area it would have been a no.

I really wish people would stop shoving bloody McD down other people's children's throats. If you think the whole issue is with calories and grams of fat, you haven't been paying attention for the last ... I don't know ... 20 years or so. Not all fats are born equal. Not all carbs are born equal. Not all calories are born equal. Have you ever heard of trans fats? of e-numbers? hormones in cheap beef? FFS poison your own children all you want but leave the rest alone. A McD is not a human right or a basic need.

Totally ridiculous to call it ‘poison’. As I said, I wouldn’t eat McDonald’s every day but an occasional visit is not going to harm anyone.

Of course the nuances you refer to matter, but the basic equation for the vast majority is calories in-calories out.

Lots of dishes at McDonald’s are healthier than equivalents at naice MC establishments.

Their ingredients are all published online, which is not the case at Bert’s Kebab Shop.

You have been reading too much Daily Mail. There was an incident in my nearest city today where two people were stabbed followed by a standoff between armed police and the suspect.

This is a city that people from all over the world visit. Isolated incidents don’t mean DC are going to be attacked when they go to the shops.

My DS used to go all over London on the bus with his friends from about 11. His older brother did from about 14, because he didn't want to before then.

The desire to hang around outside in some scummy town centre is one aspect of the teenage mind I will never comprehend. Why can't they just go to the park like normal people?

I do. But our town Centre is safe.

Sadly, I don't think taking a few friends with him to a different shopping centre is that great a solution, because the other kids will
a) want to go to the local one where they might see other people they know and
b) their parents will be allowing the trips as a way of gradually building independence, so being scooped up and escorted by another parent defeats the object (even if you don't hang around with then they lose the having to manage getting their own transport aspects).

Exactly this! McDonald’s isn’t exactly crack cocaine and a meal here is often much lower in calories/fat than alternatives like five guys, Burger King, etc. I can eat a McDonald’s, do a work out and gain nothing!

But, @BestZebbie - those friends are not prevented from hanging out at their local shopping mall whenever they like. It’s not either / or. The OP would be offering the odd day out somewhere new; what other children do with all their other leisure time is not her concern.

Gosh, I really feel for kids these days. Of course you don't want your kids to go hanging around places where their is risk of knife crime, that's understandable. But this means kids just don't get that life experience and learn to be independent. They are losing out on life skills and it will effect their development. But you just can't take the risk.

But when did it become a thing for children to carry knives and murder each other? How are people raising children that think it's ok to do this? It's absolutely horrendous. Growing up in the 80s, this sort of thing just didn't happen. All the kids were roaming around, and hardly anyone ever even got involved in a scuffle. Use of weapons was just unheard of.

Erm, can you read? I told you about my friend's son's experience and you are bringing up Daily Mail? WTF? The gaslighting is strong in this one...

Well I could explain when and how this change happened but MN would ban me...

To my previous reply - eat whatever the heck you want but don't give OP this nonsense about her DS growing up "deprived" because he doesn't go to bloody McD...

I do, but Wrexham sounds safer than your locality. They usually just pop to Greggs, occasionally bowling alley/ waterworld and weirdly Home Bargains.

Dd12 LOVES home bargains 😆. It’s her favourite store

Children have been carrying knives at least since I was at secondary school and I'm 58.

I wouldn’t let my 12 yo go and hang around our local town centre even outside of this “school wars” business. In our particular London suburb the town centre had gone a bit to the dogs though.

I’d probably let him go to the neighbouring area in normal circumstances but he hasn’t yet started to ask.

I’m unsure how serious this “school wars” thing is - it seems to have been started from outside and police are reporting no incidents or crimes in our area on Friday. We’ll see what happens this week.

Various of my son’s friends (he is the 12 yo) have reported seeing bits and pieces of things going on, but tbh I’m not sure if they’re telling the truth.

My 17 yo dd hasn’t reported seeing anything but her school is very local and she wouldn’t be bothering with this sort of thing herself.

Neither of them are that into just hanging about tbh. 17 yo might go to the shops in the neighbouring area occasionally but just with a couple of friends and usually with a purpose.

Again, the issue about McDonalds is nothing to do with the the food they serve.

It's do to with "banning" one of the few places that younger teens are able to "hang out" in, in an informal way, that takes them "off the streets" as OP desires.