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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Meant to be moving to Dubai in 4 weeks

967 replies

Medesres · 01/03/2026 15:42

We've been planning a move to Dubai for a while now. Dh's work has an office out there and it seemed like great opportunity to live abroad and experience sth different. I've got a couple of friends out there already too who love the lifestyle.

Watching the news for the past 24 hours and I'm really starting to question things. I had no idea how close to Iran it was and who knows what might happen next. Part of me is hoping it will all be resolved soon but hard to believe.

My friend who already lives there has spent the night sleeping in one room with her dh and kids scared of all the missile noises.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
SlayBelle · 01/03/2026 16:55

SuperSharpShooter · 01/03/2026 15:49

You didn't realise how close it was to Iran?

The mind boggles!

I know it’s not really the point of the post, but how does someone commit to moving to a different country without knowing where in the world it is?! Absolutely nuts.

Wouldn’t have touched Dubai with a barge pole before this all kicked off. Doubly so now.

Hedgehog2026 · 01/03/2026 16:55

Zanatdy · 01/03/2026 16:50

I find it incredible people would move children there without researching. I went there on holiday once, would never return, let alone live there. I would be cancelling, and staying in the UK.

The OP does not refer to any children being involved in this move.

CurlewKate · 01/03/2026 16:55

Theonlywayicanloveyou · 01/03/2026 16:54

People are dunking on the OP, but how do they think Middle East tourism happens? People overlook local human rights records and geopolitical issues all the time.

Edited

A two week holiday is a bit different to emigration!

Itsmetheflamingo · 01/03/2026 16:56

OneShyQuail · 01/03/2026 16:49

It is madness to uproot and emigrate based on how glamorous people say a place is and not even have awareness of what countries are next to it 😱

That’s what ex pats do though isn’t it? Think of all the colonialists flopping about drinking gin at the country club in totally unstable countries throughout history

OldForANewMum · 01/03/2026 16:56

OP, I've read your original post, all your subsequent posts and a good selection of the replies. First, in the current situation it is literally impossible to tell what will happen in 4 weeks, as of today. You're going to have to live with the uncertainty for at least a few days, possibly for weeks or months. As others have said, your OH needs to be in very close contact with his bosses in the UK and with those already out in UAE and keep up with events as the position emerges.

However, as with some other posters, I am horrified but not surprised as your near- total lack of knowledge about the reality of the UAE, and its proximity to Iran is not the biggest issue. For context, I worked for a particular global company for 5 years with a prominent presence in UAE and for a 6 month period I spent 10 days a month working there. That was pre-Covid - lockdown then hit and I spent the rest of my time at the company working remotely with the same colleagues in Dubai. I have travelled a lot both for work and leisure, and never bothered to go to Dubai on my own dime for most of the reasons others have stated, however I was quite glad to go there for work as it was interesting. It was also, crucially, broadly winter when I was spending time there (October to February) which is a good time to be out of the UK for 10 days a month in sunshine.

So a few random things I strongly urge you to think about, before you go - regardless of what happens with Iran:

  • The climate is almost unliveable for most Brits, no matter what they say. By April it is over 40 celsius most days and it isn't desert heat, it's humid. You go from air conditioned building to air conditioned vehicle to air conditioned building and that's the only way to survive. That alone would probably stop me moving there (and I've lived in SE Asia). I have colleagues and friends who grew up there and still find the climate almost unliveable, and that has worsened in recent years with climate change
  • I assume you're female. On a day to day basis, it's perfectly possible to live an apparently 'normal' Western-style life in Dubai as a woman, and never come into any tricky situations. But you are very much reliant on luck as you simply do not have the same human rights you have at home. In Dubai, everything is fine... until it isn't. My husband (note: husband - we're married) came out to visit me on one trip. I didn't change my name on marriage and so when he came out I got him to bring a copy of our marriage certificate with him. It's not common in tourist hotels but it's perfectly credible we might have had to prove our marriage or be breaking the law. I really mean this - look into your right, decide if you're comfortable living like that medium term. Have a serious think about how much you trust your OH, too
  • Visa, work, financial and legal matters - go and find expat forums and hang out on them to understand the position on all sorts of things. Be extremely careful of any financial entanglements when you're out there. It's very easy to come a-cropper legally in Dubai if you do things the wrong way.
  • It might seem like the money is good but remember there are almost zero public services (unless you are Emirati, which you aren't). You will pay for everything. Factor that in.
  • Again for context, I lived in a different, SE Asian majority Muslim country and would do so again. Religion is not an issue, culture is. I am an adventurous traveller and would never choose to live and work in Dubai (I was offered more than one job when I was working out there and I politely declined). Each to their own, but make sure you're making knowledgeable, informed, active choices about what you're doing.
  • Ethics - as others have said, there are some serious ethical issues underpinning Dubai's society.
  • Through work, I have friends in Dubai, some of whom are British born and brought up, and some of whom grew up in Dubai (none are Emirati though - you can be born and live your whole life in Dubai and never gain citizenship or any real rights under the law). They all live a very good life out there and they are there for reasons. But I don't think any of them would disagree with the down sides.

I think you need to treat this as a wake-up call to do the research you should've done previously. Nobody has a crystal ball so I may well be proved wrong within days or weeks, but I suspect the situation is going to blow over relatively quickly as Trump doesn't have the political capital at home to wage war for long in the Middle East. What Netanyahu does is anyone's guess but Iran is weakened and my guess is things will calm down, at least outside of Iran's borders, pretty quickly. If that is the case, great. But do your research whilst you have the chance. I have little doubt that whatever you OH has agreed to, in the current situation at minimum he will have an easy 'out' from his employer if you change your minds about going. You might find that even if the current situation calms down, you might want that.

I wish you well, whatever you decide. But please - research properly and make an active and informed decision.

Londonrach1 · 01/03/2026 16:56

I've no idea why anyone would even want to travel there and no idea why anyone want to live there. Each to their own. Your dh needs to contact his bosses and ask what happens now. Does he have a job in this country still? Half thinking this a wind up due to your lack of research and the fact everyone wants to live there. I honestly don't know anyone of my friends or family.

Whammyammy · 01/03/2026 16:57

Having visited a lot of the ME, including Dubai and Abu Dhabi, im really surprised to hear anyone call it glamorous 🤣🤣

OneNewLeader · 01/03/2026 16:57

My guess, the decision will be taken out of your hands.

My family lived in Iran during the Shah’s reign. The end was swift, brutal and dangerous. I wouldn’t choose to live in the Middle East again, because the regimes are largely repressive and oppressive. For all the sunshine, there’s a darkness.

Jibbee · 01/03/2026 16:57

Medesres · 01/03/2026 15:42

We've been planning a move to Dubai for a while now. Dh's work has an office out there and it seemed like great opportunity to live abroad and experience sth different. I've got a couple of friends out there already too who love the lifestyle.

Watching the news for the past 24 hours and I'm really starting to question things. I had no idea how close to Iran it was and who knows what might happen next. Part of me is hoping it will all be resolved soon but hard to believe.

My friend who already lives there has spent the night sleeping in one room with her dh and kids scared of all the missile noises.

It is on the Persian gulf which is a bit of a giveaway geographically, although they try and airbrush that now by wanting to rebrand it as the arabian gulf

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/03/2026 16:57

Theonlywayicanloveyou · 01/03/2026 16:54

People are dunking on the OP, but how do they think Middle East tourism happens? People overlook local human rights records and geopolitical issues all the time.

Edited

About 3% of UK tourism is to Dubai and similar. Most people don’t go there. It’s all over SM but most people aren’t overlooking anything.

HPD76 · 01/03/2026 16:57

Medesres · 01/03/2026 15:53

I knew it was in middle east Gulf and obviously Iran is in that area too but I hadn't studied the map in great detail until today.

The problem is Dubai and parts of the middle east have been really glamorised now so everyone wants to move there. Then something like this happens and you get a reality check

Dh going to speak to his work tomorrow. I'm sure they wouldn't send him if it escalates

Not everyone wants to move there. For example, people who have watched the news a few times in their life probably don’t, people who object to the slave trade don’t, people who have a basic understanding of geography, or politics, or culture, they probably don’t either. People who believe everything superficial they see on TikTok, they probably do though. Have a great time there!

Nanda66 · 01/03/2026 16:58

I don’t want to live there but lots of people do. I know two very wealthy people who moved there last year because they were being crippled by taxes here. I know 3 different young women who have moved there in the last 6 months, all appear to be loving the lifestyle and be earning well. It will be interesting to see if they make different choices now.

On here everyone is giving the OP a hard time and saying no-one wants to live there. But many people do. I think this will be a big wake up call for many people.

Viviennemary · 01/03/2026 16:59

I wouldnt want to move there till all this dies down which it hopefully will. Until it does chances are there won't be any flights there anyway. I read the airport had been bombed.

TheignT · 01/03/2026 16:59

nomas · 01/03/2026 16:38

Hold the press! Theign doesn’t want to go to Dubai!

Yes, that is some first class information!

You are being ridiculous. I've already said that I didn't say I didn't want to go there. Have you forgotten that so soon?

If OP thinks it's such a wonderful place that everyone wants to go there I'd say it is useful to find out it isn't true.

Again given how many people have said the same and stronger things why are you harassing me? No don't answer given you think it's wrong to derail the thread maybe stop doing it.

DancingNotDrowning · 01/03/2026 17:02

OP the average MNer hates Dubai so you’re going to get endless posters metaphorically pointing and laughing whilst gleefully putting the boot in.

The UAE is close to Iran but has been politically stable for decades as have the countries it shares land borders with. Despite the broader regions political unrest it has avoided being caught up in the Iraqi, Yemen or Syrian wars. There was absolutely no way the last two days of unrest could have been predicted because it’s unprecedented.

The current spike in tensions is likely to dissipate quickly, there’s a strong impetus for UAE and Saudi to de-escalate. The region will of course remain unstable but it was ever thus.

You are fortunate you are living with your DHs current role. They’ll be able to advise on what your next steps should be.

Crikeyalmighty · 01/03/2026 17:03

Ebok1990 · 01/03/2026 16:41

It's just content for them.

I went in 2011 but haven’t been back - I was suprised at how expensive it was too, so you may not be paying tax but would need a pretty hefty income to fund it , unless you worked and didn’t do much outside of work - it wouldn’t be for me but then I like places that feel more real like Sweden, Denmark and Netherlands and I accept that these wouldn’t suit others either I guess if life just revolves around it being sunny - actually it wasn’t sunny when we went to Dubai either (May) - it was very hot ( 47 degrees hot) , windy and overcast most of the time and the sea and beaches weren’t very appetising either . To me it just felt full of flashy wide boys showing off without much of interest- However I do understand why to many it seems enticing and yes I accept some love it and no I don’t think UK is the be all and end all either.

Hillary17 · 01/03/2026 17:04

It’s easy to worry about these things in the moment. Having lived in Dubai for several years when similar conflicts have happened and during Covid which was a scary time, the UAE is incredibly safe most of the time. There is a risk anywhere in the world these days sadly. The UAE are incredibly protective of their people and those living in there as shown by their reaction to this. Whilst things may be escalated at the moment this is not standard for the area.

Evaka · 01/03/2026 17:04

SuperSharpShooter · 01/03/2026 15:49

You didn't realise how close it was to Iran?

The mind boggles!

Suspect 1000s of Brits already living in Dubai are the same. They think it's a tax haven Disney land rather than an oppressive nightmare in the most volatile region on earth.

BerryTwister · 01/03/2026 17:04

Medesres · 01/03/2026 15:53

I knew it was in middle east Gulf and obviously Iran is in that area too but I hadn't studied the map in great detail until today.

The problem is Dubai and parts of the middle east have been really glamorised now so everyone wants to move there. Then something like this happens and you get a reality check

Dh going to speak to his work tomorrow. I'm sure they wouldn't send him if it escalates

Not everyone wants to move there. I’d rather live in a tent in Siberia!

Donttellempike · 01/03/2026 17:05

HPD76 · 01/03/2026 16:57

Not everyone wants to move there. For example, people who have watched the news a few times in their life probably don’t, people who object to the slave trade don’t, people who have a basic understanding of geography, or politics, or culture, they probably don’t either. People who believe everything superficial they see on TikTok, they probably do though. Have a great time there!

Well yes. It was only in the last year that that lad was imprisoned for a year for having (consensual) sex with his holiday romance.

Glamorous? I think not

Nanda66 · 01/03/2026 17:05

OldForANewMum · 01/03/2026 16:56

OP, I've read your original post, all your subsequent posts and a good selection of the replies. First, in the current situation it is literally impossible to tell what will happen in 4 weeks, as of today. You're going to have to live with the uncertainty for at least a few days, possibly for weeks or months. As others have said, your OH needs to be in very close contact with his bosses in the UK and with those already out in UAE and keep up with events as the position emerges.

However, as with some other posters, I am horrified but not surprised as your near- total lack of knowledge about the reality of the UAE, and its proximity to Iran is not the biggest issue. For context, I worked for a particular global company for 5 years with a prominent presence in UAE and for a 6 month period I spent 10 days a month working there. That was pre-Covid - lockdown then hit and I spent the rest of my time at the company working remotely with the same colleagues in Dubai. I have travelled a lot both for work and leisure, and never bothered to go to Dubai on my own dime for most of the reasons others have stated, however I was quite glad to go there for work as it was interesting. It was also, crucially, broadly winter when I was spending time there (October to February) which is a good time to be out of the UK for 10 days a month in sunshine.

So a few random things I strongly urge you to think about, before you go - regardless of what happens with Iran:

  • The climate is almost unliveable for most Brits, no matter what they say. By April it is over 40 celsius most days and it isn't desert heat, it's humid. You go from air conditioned building to air conditioned vehicle to air conditioned building and that's the only way to survive. That alone would probably stop me moving there (and I've lived in SE Asia). I have colleagues and friends who grew up there and still find the climate almost unliveable, and that has worsened in recent years with climate change
  • I assume you're female. On a day to day basis, it's perfectly possible to live an apparently 'normal' Western-style life in Dubai as a woman, and never come into any tricky situations. But you are very much reliant on luck as you simply do not have the same human rights you have at home. In Dubai, everything is fine... until it isn't. My husband (note: husband - we're married) came out to visit me on one trip. I didn't change my name on marriage and so when he came out I got him to bring a copy of our marriage certificate with him. It's not common in tourist hotels but it's perfectly credible we might have had to prove our marriage or be breaking the law. I really mean this - look into your right, decide if you're comfortable living like that medium term. Have a serious think about how much you trust your OH, too
  • Visa, work, financial and legal matters - go and find expat forums and hang out on them to understand the position on all sorts of things. Be extremely careful of any financial entanglements when you're out there. It's very easy to come a-cropper legally in Dubai if you do things the wrong way.
  • It might seem like the money is good but remember there are almost zero public services (unless you are Emirati, which you aren't). You will pay for everything. Factor that in.
  • Again for context, I lived in a different, SE Asian majority Muslim country and would do so again. Religion is not an issue, culture is. I am an adventurous traveller and would never choose to live and work in Dubai (I was offered more than one job when I was working out there and I politely declined). Each to their own, but make sure you're making knowledgeable, informed, active choices about what you're doing.
  • Ethics - as others have said, there are some serious ethical issues underpinning Dubai's society.
  • Through work, I have friends in Dubai, some of whom are British born and brought up, and some of whom grew up in Dubai (none are Emirati though - you can be born and live your whole life in Dubai and never gain citizenship or any real rights under the law). They all live a very good life out there and they are there for reasons. But I don't think any of them would disagree with the down sides.

I think you need to treat this as a wake-up call to do the research you should've done previously. Nobody has a crystal ball so I may well be proved wrong within days or weeks, but I suspect the situation is going to blow over relatively quickly as Trump doesn't have the political capital at home to wage war for long in the Middle East. What Netanyahu does is anyone's guess but Iran is weakened and my guess is things will calm down, at least outside of Iran's borders, pretty quickly. If that is the case, great. But do your research whilst you have the chance. I have little doubt that whatever you OH has agreed to, in the current situation at minimum he will have an easy 'out' from his employer if you change your minds about going. You might find that even if the current situation calms down, you might want that.

I wish you well, whatever you decide. But please - research properly and make an active and informed decision.

Excellent post.

Piknik · 01/03/2026 17:06

Cons
Morally bankrupt
Facade of Westernisation hiding deeply embedded culture of misogyny and intolerance
Built on slavery
Cultural wasteland
Servants are commonly used and sold
Draconian worldview
Women are second class citizens
Gay people get publicly assaulted
In the middle of the most volatile place on earth

Pros
Sunny
Looks nice on Instagram

Donttellempike · 01/03/2026 17:06

BerryTwister · 01/03/2026 17:04

Not everyone wants to move there. I’d rather live in a tent in Siberia!

Snap!

nomas · 01/03/2026 17:06

TheignT · 01/03/2026 16:59

You are being ridiculous. I've already said that I didn't say I didn't want to go there. Have you forgotten that so soon?

If OP thinks it's such a wonderful place that everyone wants to go there I'd say it is useful to find out it isn't true.

Again given how many people have said the same and stronger things why are you harassing me? No don't answer given you think it's wrong to derail the thread maybe stop doing it.

Why are you acting like I’m only posting to you on this thread? Bizarre.

Let’s stop posting to each other and make this nonsense end. I won’t reply again.

OP has left anyway, this is pointless.

placemats · 01/03/2026 17:07

Medesres · 01/03/2026 15:42

We've been planning a move to Dubai for a while now. Dh's work has an office out there and it seemed like great opportunity to live abroad and experience sth different. I've got a couple of friends out there already too who love the lifestyle.

Watching the news for the past 24 hours and I'm really starting to question things. I had no idea how close to Iran it was and who knows what might happen next. Part of me is hoping it will all be resolved soon but hard to believe.

My friend who already lives there has spent the night sleeping in one room with her dh and kids scared of all the missile noises.

Don't go. Iran has a plan in place for decades should such strikes on them happen. They have the military power to do it. It's not safe.