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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think 48 WhatsApp groups for a part-time job is a circus?

178 replies

motheronthedancefloor · 01/03/2026 15:32

Hi everyone, I’m after some advice and maybe just some shared experiences from anyone who’s survived a workplace like this.

I’m in my mid-40s and I’m about three months into a part-time role for a small grassroots advocacy organisation. The people are okay as individuals, but the setup is a total nightmare. It’s essentially run by a working group of volunteers in their 70s and 80s who are very new to having employees, and it really shows. It’s a classic case of "Founder’s Syndrome"—they’ve hired me for my expertise, but they can’t seem to let go and I often feel like I'm being treated like a child.

The main thing is the digital noise. There is no work laptop, no work phone, and not even a work email address. Everything is done via personal emails and WhatsApp. I am currently in 48 different WhatsApp groups and work chats. Forty-eight! I'm expected to check them regularly for tasks/suggestions/ideas, including scrolling back which, as you can imagine, is quite a volume.

It’s all on my personal phone, and even when I mute the chats on days off, I’m constantly being @tagged, so the notifications cut through anyway. Because it’s my personal mobile, I can’t ever actually switch off. It feels like a full-time mental load for part-time hours. I have told them I have had big family events this month and even marked it in the shared calendar - only to get pinged on the day.

I don't have a single manager, so they all give me conflicting instructions and it drives me totally barmy. I’ll spend an entire day on a task, Person X will tell me it’s fine, then Person Y will come along the next day and tell me to change the whole thing. I can go through multiple edits for the same piece of work just to satisfy different personal preferences. It’s constant micromanagement—I have to get approval for the tiniest things, and then they often just redo it anyway because it’s not exactly how they would have phrased it.

I’ve voiced my concerns, but nothing changes. I just get apologies and then the same patterns repeat. There are also massive red flags regarding GDPR. Because I'm using my own kit, I have the personal numbers and emails of very senior politicians, journalists, lawyers, and celebrities on my own phone, along with passwords for all their systems. I’d never share them, obviously, but I feel incredibly uncomfortable with the lack of security. I’ve highlighted this to them, but it’s fallen on deaf ears.

There’s one other employee who is just as frustrated as me, but she’s full-time, better paid, and has been in politics much longer. This is my first political/advocacy role, so I wasn't sure if this was "normal"—but it feels incredibly dysfunctional.

Even getting the job was weird. They weren't happy with standard professional references and insisted on five or six different people, including personal ones. It felt totally over the top and very intrusive. To top it off, I have a disability and have a pre-disclosed block of leave coming up. They’re now stalling on how to record it and suggesting I "make up the hours" on evenings and weekends, which is making me incredibly anxious.

I’m already looking for other jobs, but the market is a total bin fire at the moment. There are so few jobs out there and hundreds of people going for the samae jobs. I can't afford to just walk away with nothing. AIBU to feel this way? Has anyone else experienced something like this?

OP posts:
SixthWorstOption · 24/03/2026 16:34

Good luck with the interviews, OP, the current set-up sounds like an unprofessional, stress-inducing nightmare!

LadyOfLymeHouse · 24/03/2026 16:47

Good luck! 🤞🍀

NorthSouthEast · 25/03/2026 07:01

Oh everything crossed for you OP! Please do let us know. It cannot be worse than your current set up. Did you ask how they manage communications at your interview? ;-)

WannabeMathematician · 25/03/2026 07:36

Good luck!

motheronthedancefloor · 25/03/2026 10:56

NorthSouthEast · 25/03/2026 07:01

Oh everything crossed for you OP! Please do let us know. It cannot be worse than your current set up. Did you ask how they manage communications at your interview? ;-)

I asked more generally how the team worked together, and with stakeholders, can't remember the full answer but it all seemed perfectly normal, definitely a much better set up. Really hope they get back to me tomorrow but more likely to be Friday, have not really been sleeping of late due to stress of everything.

OP posts:
Smarvellous · 25/03/2026 21:59

Fingers crossed OP! 🤞

motheronthedancefloor · 26/03/2026 16:30

I didn't get it. Actually crying now. They said some guff about how they got over 100 applications and the fact I got to interview shows how good I was, yeah not good enough. So now I'm still stuck in this shit hole as I can't afford to leave.

OP posts:
LadyOfLymeHouse · 26/03/2026 16:42

I'm so sorry to gear that. I know it's horrible applying for jobs but keep going. You will get something even better.

Meanwhile, be kind to yourself and treat yourself to something, it doesn't need to be expensive, a nice chocolate bar? A bath bomb?

💐🍷

YourOnMute · 26/03/2026 16:46

You will get something else.
I've been there. When I was in the thick of it I used to tell myself "you're leaving soon". It helped me to cope with all the rubbish. And you are making efforts to go, so you will be going soon.

NorthSouthEast · 26/03/2026 19:38

I’m sorry @motheronthedancefloor that’s so tough. Please let this help stiffen your resolve to not let the people at your current work push boundaries. What’s one step you can take to push back, whether obvious or more subtle, like muting or leaving chats or turning your phone off at the end of the work day.

TheQueenOfTheNight · 26/03/2026 19:58

That's rubbish, I'm sorry that you didn't get this one. Hopefully it won't be long until it all works out. 🌸

Smarvellous · 26/03/2026 22:13

Really sorry to read this, you must be gutted, but getting to interview from over 100 applications DOES mean you did really well! Honestly, I've sat on interview panels where we had absolutely no idea how on earth we were going to narrow it down to just one person.

It won't be long, you're clearly a stand out Flowers

motheronthedancefloor · 27/03/2026 10:04

I know this thread is getting quite long but didn't want to start another. I lost my temper at them today and now I'm feeling scared and guilty about it as I can't afford to lose this job or walk away, nor can I afford to go onto SSP. I have contacted my union but they are very slow in coming back to me. My work are just like 'that's the way it is', 'whats the problem' sort of thing.

OP posts:
motheronthedancefloor · 27/03/2026 10:53

Right I've decided to just quit. I've decided to be brave. Will hand my 1 month notice in on Monday. eeeek, I'm actually doing it.

OP posts:
NoCommentingFromNowOn · 27/03/2026 12:49

Work out your finances over the weekend, what is the worst case scenario? Will your DH be able to cover everything?

If you’re ok with money, what would happen if you put a message in every WhatsApp group saying this is one of 50-something groups, and all messages should be now added to this one (new, started by you) group? Then delete all others, and disable the setting that allows them to add you back?

I think if you are at the point where you’ve had enough, that gives you some power, the worst they can do is sack you. A five minute explanation to any potential employers will cover that I think?

Empress13 · 27/03/2026 13:22

I’d look for another job with people working in the 21st century !

BadSkiingMum · 27/03/2026 13:43

Woah, please consider doing the above suggestion from @NoCommentingFromNowOn and making this job work for you rather than just quitting.

Money sounds a bit tight for you and there is a really high chance that you may not find another job for some time.

Trust me, from experience, you really do not want to be out in the current employment market with a clock ticking on how long you have been out of work…

Flyndo · 27/03/2026 14:11

motheronthedancefloor · 27/03/2026 10:53

Right I've decided to just quit. I've decided to be brave. Will hand my 1 month notice in on Monday. eeeek, I'm actually doing it.

Absolutely your choice, but I would not advise doing this if it's mainly out of fear of being sacked for your outburst. They'd be idiots to do that to you, and their decision making process is probably too bloated to take such decisive action, especially in a legally defensible manner.

SkyBlueAndTired · 27/03/2026 14:12

Agree wait and then try to negotiate reference and some garden leave

motheronthedancefloor · 27/03/2026 14:12

my DH says we can make it work and my GP has given me a sick line for 1 month when I spoke with him this afternoon. He's a great GP and knows me well enough and for long enough to know I don't exaggerate. I've also been given sleeping pills. He even uttered the words 'fuck sake' when I told him what was going on LOL. Its not great to be on sick pay but I just got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. My union got back to me and are going to help negotiate pilon and accrued annual leave. I've applied for several jobs today and will update my linkedin to 'open to work'.

OP posts:
NoCommentingFromNowOn · 27/03/2026 16:41

motheronthedancefloor · 27/03/2026 14:12

my DH says we can make it work and my GP has given me a sick line for 1 month when I spoke with him this afternoon. He's a great GP and knows me well enough and for long enough to know I don't exaggerate. I've also been given sleeping pills. He even uttered the words 'fuck sake' when I told him what was going on LOL. Its not great to be on sick pay but I just got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. My union got back to me and are going to help negotiate pilon and accrued annual leave. I've applied for several jobs today and will update my linkedin to 'open to work'.

Edited

Wow, that all sounds really good (I think).

So you have breathing space to recover a bit, time to look for a job, support from the union, and no pressing financial horrors.

So………just a suggestion, do you need to delete the thread? I have no idea, but maybe someone else can give their opinion.

And if you’re on sick leave right now, HIDE THE WHATSAPP THREADS.

motheronthedancefloor · 27/03/2026 17:04

already done that and I dont think I need to delete the thread, nothing in here that isn't true and they are very tech adverse, hence why everything is on whatsapp and any attempt by me to suggest better security is dismissed.

OP posts:
NoCommentingFromNowOn · 27/03/2026 17:06

That sounds good then, I hope this job is just a weird memory for you soon.

BadSkiingMum · 27/03/2026 18:25

Ok, well all the best - hope you find a better role.

NorthSouthEast · 27/03/2026 19:34

for what it’s worth, I think you’ve made the right decision. Your health and uourmenal health are more important, and you’ll probably be in a better place to get a new job without the stress of this one hanging over you.