✔️ obsessed with genitals (ugh, I've typed that twice in my life to quote activists & I know that because it makes me shudder each time - W.T.A.F.?!)
✔️ multiple ad hominems
✔️ exist in the world (again, what's with this whole existence thing?!)
✔️ the anger showing through when the arguments fail
BINGO! Full house, drinks on me!
Ahem. You get rude(-r), I apparently get sarky(/-ier!). I didn't used to - I tend to be the stoically patient type in this debate - but boy, does one need it sometimes in this kind of thread. An explanation as to how that happened, and why I'm confident in my position, below, in answer to your quote as follows:
Perhaps if people are saying these things to you so often that you have a ticklist, you might be the common denominator? If lots of people told me I was racist, or sexist, or that I kept punching down, I might think that I need to reflect on my character instead of chalking it up to a conspiracy against me.
In summary (TLDR!), when "people keep saying these things to me" but only ever in this one, isolated context, whereas in all others what they say about me directly opposes the kind of values the above would suggest - and above all when the language those people use tends towards the absurd and extreme - the common denominator is not me, but those people.
In more detail, though...
I started out thinking similarly to you, and it was, more than anything else, posts like yours that changed my views.
Originally unquestioningly supportive of "transwomen are women", I then became aware there was debate. It was via MN, yes, but I responded to it in the way I usually do - I read more widely (compulsively - it fascinated me!) including on both sides. And what I read left me disturbed enough to start re-thinking my prior acceptance of this. What was it that disturbed me most? The realisation that the "trans side" tended with unusual consistency towards emotional reasoning, hyperbole and, fairly often, personal attack, instead of engaging with the contrastingly in-depth arguments put forward by the GC feminists.
But still I went through an extended period of questioning myself, during which I desperately sought a fair middle ground and, above all, intelligent discussion of what was, quite clearly, a conflict of rights at the very least. And I expected to develop a better understanding of both sides. But, instead, my concern grew. For the same reason.
Over time, with more reading, I shifted into full-on GC. A key turning point was reading a refutation of GC views by a trans(?) critic in 3 devoted hours of hard thought (I spent all that time in a manky station café because I didn't want to lose my train of thought!) My GC-style was the gentler kind, perhaps (some would say naive!), always giving the benefit of the doubt, staying the course of threads like this, and unfailingly assuming any "opponent" may be vulnerable and so choosing each and every word with care and empathy. And I still honestly thought I could draw out something I'd missed, or at least some acknowledgement of my concerns in my equivalent careful acknowledgement of yours. But instead, my concern grew. For the same reason.
I skimmed Pink News, Trans Reddit etc., thinking surely those sites will offer something more than debates on MN... and I saw the same trends. Reddit, in particular, disturbs me. It feels like a lot of vulnerable people who have been taught the litany of ticked absurdities you use and I list above and are hurting in their total misunderstanding of how people like me think and feel about them. It makes me very angry, actually. I want to reach out to reassure the younger among them, in the gentlest of terms possible... but I know from threads like this how that's likely to end. And I also know from threads like these that there's a very real risk of being targetted myself with an intimate cruelty to a stranger that the poster appears to think is entirely justified by my simple disagreement. The kind that your post to me, to which I respond here, is edging towards.
And so now, like many, I have far less patience. I've given this ideology every possible chance I can. But even now, while I indulge in sarcasm (that on this thread's made me look like a waaay committed Trekkie!), I still tend to answer in a largely courteous and always thoughtful way, taking care to highlight my concern for trans people themselves too at one or more points (as I have several times above).
And do you know what? Over on that hotbed of GC evil, the forum dedicated to this, I see others doing the same: women of different races, nationalities and backgrounds; lesbians who themselves fought to win the rights gay people currently enjoy; women who have endured life-changing devastation because of their female bodies; and women - so, so many women - who have suffered abuse because of this. Women who know trans people, have trans friends, and worry about trans children. Women who have read far, far more than me, ploughing their way through Angela Long Chu and Grace Lavery and other well-known trans names. Women who, like me, listen, and think, and respond in the way I and others have above.
And yet, still - still - in the face of all of this, we still end up with something akin to the checklist above. The same old accusations, levelled again and again at total strangers who are simply arguing, in some depth and with passion, an entirely legal, valid angle on their own human rights.
So no, I have no concerns about my character. I've done the work there. And I've waited and waited and waited for the posters I engage with on this to do the same.
In the interests of full disclosure in what's become a rather embarrassing "History of Catiette" (and apologies for that - I also use this forum to work out my own thoughts and test my own views; another reason, btw, that I'm pretty confident in both)... I am a bit concerned right now that I'm beginning to lose patience and my posts are getting sarkier and sometimes a bit too direct and honest. I want to reign that in, because I don't know who's on the other end, and because it's exactly the patience and kindness of other GC posters (and the arbitrary unpleasantness of the insutlingly reductive accusations levelled at them) that gave me the confidence I now have to post as I do.
(Congrats if you made it through. Am now looking for the "Phew!" / embarrassed emoji, but the dictionary isn't behaving. Sad face.)