AIBU to think, can money buy happiness? in some ways, it absolutely can!

[Relaxednhappy]

Before I say anything else, I know and wholeheartedly appreciate that this is a very privileged position to be in. And this is not a stealth boast it is an acknowledgment that I think A LOT of people won’t admit to.
Not everyone gets to make these choices, and I don’t take that lightly.

But I also think we should be honest about the conversation.

I always used to sit on the fence with this question but…”Can money buy happiness?

Since buying my new house, finishing it exactly how I wanted, everything is new and we have added all the modern comforts, I’ve noticed something shift in my life and in my mental health.
Everything is clean and new.
Electric blinds that open with a button.
A robot hoover that keeps the floors clean without me thinking about it.
A Quooker tap that gives instant boiling water-this speeds up cooking time too.
A large washing machine and dryer that actually keep up with life.
A dishwasher that saves hours every week.

None of these things are “life-changing” on their own. But together , they remove friction from my day.
I am less stressed so my performance at work improved, this got me to a position where I could go for a promotion and therefore more money.
I also bought a brand-new car. I no longer worry about breakdowns. My petrol costs are lower. It’s automatic, so driving feels easier and calmer. There’s no constant background stress about “what if something goes wrong?”

What money has really bought me isn’t “stuff.”
It’s:

• Time
• Convenience
• Reliability
• Peace of mind

And that peace of mind has given me something priceless, mental space!! I have more time to relax. Less daily stress. Fewer small frustrations draining my energy. More time to spend quality time with my family. When your environment runs smoothly, your nervous system does too. Of course, money can’t fix everything. It doesn’t replace relationships, purpose, or health. But it can remove many of the daily pressures that chip away at your wellbeing. So no, money doesn’t buy happiness in a fairy-tale sense. But it can absolutely buy comfort. It can buy security. It can buy time. And sometimes, that’s enough to make you happier, healthier, and more at peace.

Anyone else have any similar thoughts and experiences?

You know what, with the amazing powers of your positive thinking why don’t you go something magical for the world? Wipe out nuclear weapons? Save the women of Afghanistan? Stop climate change and bring back emperor penguins from the brink? Or our own red squirrels? Why do we have to listen to so much magical crap telling us serfs. To suck up yet more serfdom? I can’t even have the freedom to tell this baby boomer man to stop whining about the precise consistency of a boiled egg.

What a patronising and snobby thing to say. Or could that instead be about envy?

What’s in it for her, if she does well, are options. Just like with money. And we all should have options.

You need to look up the meaning of "patronising".

@OrdinaryMagicOfAcorns if I can just say too that there are plenty of us ‘middle class kids’ who have been given jack shit too , and are in similar positions to yourself - the idea that because you come from a middle class background ( I actually come from probably a lower middle class background - dad a roofer, mum a teacher in fits and starts) I actually had jack shit given me . My H comes from middle class background, father very much alive in 80s ( abd is lovely) but no we haven’t had house deposits etc -

I also had no deposit ls given to me, just wanted to say that 😅

Why are you laughing when you're well off and people have shared how poverty is affecting their lives?

I’m not laughing. People were saying that they think it’s easier etc when you have had deposits handed to them. I just wanted to add that I didn’t have that either.

Having money also means added pressure and responsibility imo. Responsibilities to ie your money to “make your mark/make a difference”. If you have no money then that make can be significantly smaller/lower expectations.

i also think there is a feeling humans get from working towards something and achieving something. If you’ve never had to do that because you buy what you like when you like, you miss out on That valuable emotion (and end up going to Epstein island). Your friendships are more likely to be fake too.

There’s studies and there’s a certain sweet spot of enough money to be happy - no stress if the car brakes but not getting helicopters to work.

It can buy access to healthcare, but not health, otherwise millionaires wouldn’t die of cancer, or suffer with poor MH.

Yes it brings peace, stability, convenience and if anything goes wrong you have options or can at least be miserable in comfort

No, it was because she won the lottery.
Not sure how you can equate that to a 'sin'...unless you view all forms of gambling as sinful.

Absolutely money can buy happiness, and it's dishonest and disrespectful to try to pretend otherwise.

I have been incredibly poor, not enough to eat, or pay for bus fares poor, so I can compare the two.
In my opinion...money can buy lots of nice comforts, lovely holidays, better health care, and all that makes for a far more comfortable lifestyle.

However, happiness comes from within, all the money in the world can't make a terminally ill person better, resurrect the dead, make a sour relationship healthy again, mend a broken heart...etc etc, so for me, money cannot buy happiness....just comfort.

Money definitely eases stress. Where I've seen issues is when people expect money to fill a fundamental hole within them - usually around wanting validation or not feeling 'good enough' - and when it doesn't they fall apart. No amount of money is ever enough to fill them them. They work and work and work in the hopes the next 100 thousand, the next million will finally make them feel worthwhile and it never does.

People say money gives you choices but the more common situation I've seen is that it gives people constraints. As they earn more they buy a bigger house, a bigger car, send their children to private school etc until their life is so expensive it is a massive burden. They must maintain it so they have fewer choices rather than more - they can't leave their job, they can't even go off sick, because their budget is so tight.

I've also seen people with certain expectations around what life 'should' be at a certain income/wealth level, who are so unsatisfied with everything that I would say money has definitely diminished their happiness, rather than increased it. There was a guy on the radio recently talking about 'struggling' on £200k a year. A person with that mindset will never be happy.

But lots of others who could afford yearly full body scans, private care and surgery, have been saved by early intervention. Not all millionaires prioritise their health by having scans, and overindulgent life styles may have led to health problems.

There are obviously loads of problems that money can't solve, but... ALL problems are easier to face if you've got plenty of money. That's because having access to money means you can eliminate a lot of the additional stresses that make a problem worse.

For example, losing a close family member is just as painful whether you're rich or poor. Money doesn't mean you grieve any less for a loved one. But it doesn't mean you don't have to worry about the cost of a funeral. It means you can pay a solicitor to go through all the endless paperwork and sort out probate for you, rather than having to navigate all that yourself when you're already at a low ebb. It means you don't have to worry about going back to work when you're still grieving and it means you can pay for things like counselling.

Similarly, an abusive relationship is horrific even if you're a billionaire. But if you have money to burn, you at least don't have to worry about where the hell you're actually going to go when you escape.

And if you have a loved one with severe disabilities or dementia or a terminal illness, clearly money won't cure them. But it does at least mean you can pay for the very best possible care for them. When my dad became severely disabled in the last years of his life, having to watch him go into a care home was awful. The number of times I thought 'If we were billionaires, he could have stayed at home with full-time nursing care in a nice adapted bungalow...' was unreal.

You haven’t followed my previous post where the poster commented on how most lottery winners do not end up any happier. My comment was that I had read Mahatma Gandhi’s musing about the seven social sins and one of them is wealth without work. This fits in with my original post in which I laid out my thought that money earned through the fruits of your own labour (and not in this case lottery winnings) would provide more happiness than wealth just obtained.

Do you follow?

why?

I agree that money buys happiness to an extent but not completely. I grew up dirt poor and struggled alone as a single parent for a long time. My DP on the other hand is a trust fund kid. First home in London bought for him outright. Doors open at every stage career wise because of the family name and money. But his family are such utter emotional vampires that his upbringing was neglectful to say the least. If he had belonged to a poor family he would have gone into care, no doubt. The damage has made his adult life very difficult at times.

My favourite saying on this is - 'a gilded cage is still a cage'.

I think you’re taking it all a bit too seriously. To me it is simple, if I was rich I’d have the money I needed to try out lots of different ways to live my life. It would give me endless choices and possibilities. And if I was unlucky enough to become ill, I’d have the money to end my days being well cared for. I can’t see any negatives. I’m not sure how my thoughts about an impossible dream are narrow minded? 😆

I know money doesn't buy happiness for me - but it certainly lifts away any worries about my home, my care, my hobbies etc etc

I can seriously consider moving to a much, much better area than I'm in now, with tons of local history groups that I can join.

My DH died a year ago and I've never been this well-off, although I know by MN I'm small beer!

I'm so happy that I have Options now that I never dreamt of in my youth.

Money can’t buy happiness because you need relationships to be happy. But as pp say it can reduce stress, make life more comfortable, give you more time and bettter health. Money is fairly tight for me so I can definitely see the potential for much improved quality of life

I disagree about needing relationships to be happy! Some do, some don't.

I think it gives you some peace of mind that you can throw money at a problem