AIBU to think, can money buy happiness? in some ways, it absolutely can!

[Relaxednhappy]

Before I say anything else, I know and wholeheartedly appreciate that this is a very privileged position to be in. And this is not a stealth boast it is an acknowledgment that I think A LOT of people won’t admit to.
Not everyone gets to make these choices, and I don’t take that lightly.

But I also think we should be honest about the conversation.

I always used to sit on the fence with this question but…”Can money buy happiness?

Since buying my new house, finishing it exactly how I wanted, everything is new and we have added all the modern comforts, I’ve noticed something shift in my life and in my mental health.
Everything is clean and new.
Electric blinds that open with a button.
A robot hoover that keeps the floors clean without me thinking about it.
A Quooker tap that gives instant boiling water-this speeds up cooking time too.
A large washing machine and dryer that actually keep up with life.
A dishwasher that saves hours every week.

None of these things are “life-changing” on their own. But together , they remove friction from my day.
I am less stressed so my performance at work improved, this got me to a position where I could go for a promotion and therefore more money.
I also bought a brand-new car. I no longer worry about breakdowns. My petrol costs are lower. It’s automatic, so driving feels easier and calmer. There’s no constant background stress about “what if something goes wrong?”

What money has really bought me isn’t “stuff.”
It’s:

• Time
• Convenience
• Reliability
• Peace of mind

And that peace of mind has given me something priceless, mental space!! I have more time to relax. Less daily stress. Fewer small frustrations draining my energy. More time to spend quality time with my family. When your environment runs smoothly, your nervous system does too. Of course, money can’t fix everything. It doesn’t replace relationships, purpose, or health. But it can remove many of the daily pressures that chip away at your wellbeing. So no, money doesn’t buy happiness in a fairy-tale sense. But it can absolutely buy comfort. It can buy security. It can buy time. And sometimes, that’s enough to make you happier, healthier, and more at peace.

Anyone else have any similar thoughts and experiences?

Very romantic but totally unrealistic and very unfair. I've been on below average income and in poorer housing most of my adult life. I've got lots of heart and love but it doesn't stop me worrying myself bloody sick every time I wake up, hoping to Christ nothing needs repairing. It doesn't stop me wishing that I could have a small holiday or just for once not have to rummage through the reduced section to get most of my food shopping. And it doesn't magically stop the creeping mould in my bathroom that I know is making me and my son ill. So yes, money would buy us immeasureable happiness, security and peace of mind.

One example I see on here of how money can buy happiness is people who end marriages with partners they still fundamentally like and respect because they’ve fallen out of love, or there’s no spark anymore.

You can’t really do this unless splitting marital assets and getting and furnishing a new home on one income is no biggie. Prioritising your own happiness, rather than just your survival, feels like a legitimate option.

Whereas you’re more likely to spend the last 50 years of your life making do in an emotionally dead marriage if you can’t afford to heat and eat on one income.

Well yes obviously. But the point is that if you have mo ey that cancer may well be diagnosed early enough to open up more treatment options.

Money buys convenience, shocker.

What did you think people were going to say, that they prefer to hand wash their clothes and dishes?

I don't necessarily think money can buy happiness, but it can definitely solve some of the problems (big and small) that are a barrier to happiness.

For example, I was able to leave a job that was well paid but making me unhappy for something lower paid but that I am truly passionate about and that gives me a better work/life balance, because we were comfortable enough financially. We were also able to remove an unhappy child from a school environment that didn't meet her SEND needs and get her into a small, nurturing independent school where she is much happier. If we weren't lucky enough to be doing well financially we would have been largely powerless to do anything about it.

There's also the day to day stuff that just makes life easier. Labour saving devices like a robot vacuum, a large capacity tumble dryer, smart home devices etc. Having a garden big enough for the DC to play in and a house large enough that everyone has their own space, in a safe area free from antisocial behaviour. Even something as simple as being able to say "fuck it, let's just get a takeaway or go out to eat" at the end of a hectic day when you really can't be arsed to cook. Those things can all contribute to making you feel happier, or at least less stressed out.

It's also the peace of mind that comes with knowing if you have an unexpected bill (car needs repairing, washing machine packs up, or your pet gets ill and needs treatment for example) you can just pay it without hesitation. In the past when DH and I were first together we didn't have much money so an unexpected bill could be really stressful and although we were still happy, I worried a lot more.

Money doesn't innoculate you against unhappiness, I've certainly met my share of wealthy people who were deeply unhappy! If you're in a shit marriage or you hate your job then that's bound to make you unhappy regardless. But moneys gives you choices that those without it don't have. You see so many women on here who are utterly miserable in their relationships but can't afford to leave, who hate their jobs but can't afford to re-train, who hate where they live but can't afford to re-locate. If you're skint and unhappy with your life it's a lot harder to make changes.

I think if you’ve never truly struggled for money, you can take a “money doesn’t buy happiness” position.

Having enough money may not solve relationship difficulties or cure health concerns but it takes away the gnawing anxiety of where your food is coming from, how you’ll replace the kids shoes, having to say “no” to school trips, ice cream or a needed new coat.

It means you can be self sufficient, not relying on the charity of others for daily life, there is a shame associated with being poor and the choices you’re forced into that you simply don’t have when you have enough money.

Money brings choice, agency, convenience and ease, which in turn enables you to live life in a way that feels satisfying to you. That is what brings happiness, not the stuff you can buy but the dignity of having freedom of choice.

Money doesn't buy 'happiness ' but it sure makes life a lot easier, it opens doors, it prevents/ helps problems. I'd rather be miserable with all bills paid, options in life than miserable and poor, waking at 2am stressing about the electricity going off, car bill. Got the T-shirt on that one!

I went through a period of being really skint and now I’m quite comfortable. Being short of money made me stressed and miserable. I know there are some things that money can’t buy, but my life is a lot easier now

Money doesn't make you happy, but it does allow you to be miserable in comfort.

yes money can buy me happiness, or at least then i can achieve my goals and dreams and visions that will make me happy because they all need money for eg building materials etc

Yes I agree OP. I often feel really sad that I won't get to enjoy a life like yours.

Money wouldn't bring back my family members but by upgrading my surroundings and having less stress (like you describe) I feel I could be more confident at work and take risks, move roles, go for a promotion.

I have multiple thoughts on this:

• re lottery winners returning to their baseline level of happiness. I am reminded of something I read recently which has stuck with me and that is Mahatma Gandhi’s seven social sins of which ‘wealth without work’ is one.
• along the lines of the above, I think the happiness that money can buy largely comes from enjoying the fruits of your own labour.
• money definitely does buy you time but it also buys you help. Ie cleaners, hairdressers, dog walkers, laundromat’s etc which all come at a price but make your life much easier
• it also buys peace and freedom from worry provided your income is stable and investments are safe
• and then lastly… I’d rather cry in the leather seat of a Mercedes than on the hard seat of a bicycle 😂

I think it enhances life, but if you chronically lonely or terrible at relationships, or have an incurable terminal illness it won’t help! I’d much rather have no money in that case. I’m not rich but life is much better being comfortably off

Money buys options, choices and opportunities. It also buys security, convenience and the nice things you like. So of course it can. It always could: only the virtuous middle classes who had never really experienced life without money could claim otherwise.

I think the issue isn’t that money doesn’t make for a happier lifestyle - clearly it does. It just can’t resolve things like sorrow from past trauma, bereavement, abusive marriages, estranged children, alcoholism, drug addiction, etc. I think that’s what people mean when they say money can’t buy happiness.

pritty much

It can help with physical health issues though too. Money buys help and equipment.

Absolutely. I've lived in complete poverty and as much as I tried to make the best of things, there's only so many times you can smile through the 'free' things in life, such as walks and taking the children to the park. The summer holidays made me particularly anxious trying to find free or low-cost things to do, not to mention the neverending search for money-off coupons, freebies, things in the reduced section that no-one else wants.

Now my children are older I've been able to increase my hours at work. The result has changed my life. I'm not rich by any stretch of the imagination but at least I'm not missing meals, living off scraps of food my children have left or only buying value brand food and products in supermarkets. It was an existence that went on for years until recently. Don't get me started on how much I dreaded the expense of Christmas...

So you can demonstrate that money can solve lots of problems, that's not the same as it buying happiness.

It can also pay for the antibiotics when needed.

I think your second paragraph is simplistic and a bit narrow-minded. Look at Steve Jobs, Anthony Bourdain, John Paul Getty. What if you don’t know what the life you want looks like? Or you do and you pay for it and it makes you miserable, such as a big house or an expensive course? It can’t buy you a partner or friend who’ll love you back if that’s what will make you happy, or bring back your loved ones. It won’t cure your incurable cancer.

When my husband and I were starting our business and before we had accumulated any wealth, a friend of ours who is a bit of a serial entrepreneur told us that money doesn’t solve problems, it just brings a different kind of problem. Sometimes worry and stress are the price you pay for making money and being in business.

And to add, you do seem to lose a bit of perspective when you are caught up in it and it requires you to be conscious enough to look up and remind yourself to be grateful for the opportunity to make and accumulate wealth and for the life that it provides. But the stress is super high and I’ve recently been on the verge of a breakdown and had to take a step back to find some balance and energy to get going again.

I knew a woman, a neighbour of mine, who won quite big on the lottery.
The family went from being comfortably off to being rich. They moved to a big house by the coast,. The last I heard the family had split over differences on how the money should be spent, a couple of years later she died of ill health, but apparently before she died she told people winning the lottery ruined her life.

Wealth without work. It’s a sin.

I agree with you OP. I was a SAHM and until recently I felt shit about it, I felt guilty for my DH carrying the financial load, I felt guilty to myself for not continuing with a career that I loved, I thought I wasn’t showing my DDs what it was to be an independent woman. We were never skint, but rather than enjoy being off with the kids, I was always a bit embarrassed and guilty about it. Then I had an inheritance that allowed us to pay off the mortgage and a bit left over. It lifted the guilt and now I enjoy it and make the most of it. It’s just really eased the pressure.