Should I email the school but it will 100 percent look like “ I’m one of those parents “

[Winningatlife12]

I will try not to drip feed. DD is year 7 and attends a small mild Sen school ( specialised in SPLD )!. She has autism / CP/ a complex health needs but is academically able. The school runs mainstream curriculum. She is a little out of cohort as she is a bit more complex than their usual cohort in terms of medical side.

every week they have awards and also good work mention in the news letter as well as end of term awards. DD is getting incredibly annoyed and frustrated about not ever getting mentioned like others do for maths sparx and reading plus.

maths spark there is compulsory homework - then you can XP work and targets as extra for extra XP points.

she has completed every compulsory homework on there plus the XP and the target work. She has been 1st place in the leader board for her class for a long time.

reading plus - compulsory is x 2 a week ( Monday to Friday and house points for any extra you may do as well a reason plus award each week that gives you some prize.

so far the compulsory is at around 44 they should have done she has done 107 for her house points for the class. She has completed 5 levels.

here’s where the issue is sometimes it’s out of the time frame so for instance reading plus there is some weeks she has done 0 but then has done extra on another week.

so overall all her apps are ahead of where they should be by miles but on a weekly basis sometimes one week will have one the next week she will do the week set and the week she missed before.

this is because of health - she has had a really rocky start to secondary school life which had unfortunately lead to 3 hospital admissions including being on life support for septic shock.

after the admission for septic shock she returned to school the following week of being discharged straight to full days ( because she wanted to )
the school were supportive of this and kind no issues there and have allowed her breaks when needed etc.
( this was recent )
yesterday - she came home and she was so upset because somehow despite all of what’s happened in the last month her homework was all done and ahead. She said she doesn’t know what else she has to do or what she is doing differently to the ones who are getting recognition / awards ( you can see the leaderboards ) so she knows where she is.

I don’t know whether I should ask the school ? But that may make me look like a crazy mum.
or to just remove the apps 🤣

By well done that I meant about the topics above
reading plus and maths sparx. These are not apart of the classroom chat.

they are all on google classroom and awarded on a Friday and end of term. For those who don’t get an award but do well make an achievement of say hitting 80,000 words - get a “ well done “ in the good book week section on the weekly news letter. That is what I am referring to. The topics I am taking about not a general - what’s the number on the board - correct well done.

They felt terrible that it had affected her confidence and are going to give her a certificate next week for consistent good behaviour and always having a good learning attitude.

This issue aside - are you happy with the school? Your daughter happy? Thriving? Supportive teachers?

as I said - it wasn’t meant as a complaint which is why I was asking about contacting them about it. I also specified they have been great at settling her back in.

it’s not a complaint it’s about understanding the methods behind it so I can explain it but not wanting it to come across as a complaint.

I guess that OP means MLD (Moderate Learning Disabilities).

How many pupils are in the class? Could it be that one pupil each week gets the award and there haven't been enough weeks yet for everyone to get one?

She Is not the most academically able and has to work really hard to keep up with her school work but it does often go un noticed.

just seemed that perhaps you were more generally unhappy with the school

No,no moderate learning disabilities. It’s technically a Specific learning disability school for dyslexia, dyspraxia - with a mainstream curriculum.

I do think the only way to do this is by asking what your daughter’s target for a special mention is. This is effective because:

1. You aren’t “one of those parents” throwing a hissy fit
2. it makes the teacher reflect on why your daughter has been slipping the radar
3. gives a concrete goal and reassurance that once achieved she will get it

No this has been throughout school so even her primary school. She is a really passive child and a huge chunk of her work is done at home so often not treated the saw way as when done in class. I didn’t mean it in a bad way - it is just a fact of what it is.

But primary was mainstream

This is special school so I’m guessing much more sensitive to children like this and much smaller classes

Yes much smaller classes but due to the nature of the school they are not experienced in children like DD - they are primarily trained in dyslexia and Dyscalculia
they are still learning to adapt to.

Shame, doesn’t sound like maybe the right school. Private?

OP, did you read @miniaturepixieonacidadvice and drafted email? It will save you time and headspace.

Hope you get the results you hard working daughter deserves.

Yes I am going to email the Monday, I will probably re word a little to make it a little less heath related :)

There is no school for her really, no complaints otherwise as in her being able to access education there.

Yes this is how I’m trying to come across - was just worried it would come across and emptied and a complaint - which is not what I want to come across like.

As a teacher, we get this all the time. Just a:

Hi,
My daughter is really hoping to get a [special mention]. Could you let me know if there is a target she should be working towards to earn one?

Thanks,
sign-off

Then be sure to follow up when your daughter does it! Save the email with the target to reply to, include a photo if relevant/possible:

Hello!
I thought you would like to see my daughter has xxx. She is feeling very proud!

So why did you send her there?

I was discussing this with my DDs recently, they left school a good few years ago but they still remember that these awards in their school were only given to the badly behaved kids who had one good day that week etc whilst the good hardworking kids were overlooked. In my experience they are used as more of a behaviour management tool in most schools. This may not be much consolation to your DD but it’s reassuring for you to know that the school sees her behaviour and effort as being good. Not saying I agree with it as it is unfair and is difficult to explain to a child.

It’s the best school for her - there was no other school for her. As I have said this isn’t a complaint.

For a special school, it really doesn’t seem very sensitive to the needs of the children that attend the school if you feel your daughter gets sidelined

Did you get any response to your email @Winningatlife12 ?

That is a really nice reply.
You sound like a great teacher.

Personally, I couldn't give a toss if the school/teacher thought I was one of "those parents". School pupils often need someone to advocate for them - my child's wellbeing/happiness/education would trump a random teacher thinking badly of me.