How to handle DD6 possible learning difficulties and DH attitude towards the whole thing ? Who’s right and who’s wrong ?

[jahb]

The school have mentioned my just turned 6 year 1 DD may have some attention issues that are creating a barrier to her learning. She’s at a private school.

anyhow, they want to explore further by having her observed by the senco. All fine.

she’s doing OK in phonics and is expected there. Her maths score is 96 and her English score is also 96.

the teachers don’t want her to fall properly behind and thinks she just can’t focus and it’s creating a barrier for her learning.

my DH thinks everyone just wants to label every e and she is only 6 and might improve when she matures in a few months.

we don’t have the outcome or the senco observation yet, so I guess we will see then.

can anyone share experiences here with their child going through something similar and the other parent just thinking the concerns aren’t valid etc ? I’m sure my DD will be fine no matter what the outcome and I definitely support her not falling behind.

I am looking at tutoring for her to help her as well, in the meantime.

thanks for reading.

DS reception teacher said she felt he may be ND / had a few things to look out for. DH wouldn’t hear of it and dead set against diagnosis. Was diagnosed at 17 when it all went south in the run up to A levels. Doing ok again now but an earlier diagnosis would have been helpful. Keep listening to what teachers are saying, don’t let DH stop her from being assessed if/when that becomes an appropriate next step. Diagnoses allow easier access to appropriate support and it is up to the individual if / when / where to share.

Thirty five years teaching Primary School.

You should tell your husband that if her teachers have concerns then he needs to listen to them.

We've got FAR too much to do without wasting our time labelling children just for the sake of it. That's a ridiculous take.

I agree with you. Unless it’s the whole ‘ we don’t want kids like this in private school ‘ thing. So let’s start managing this one out. Hopefully not.

She doesn’t have 5 siblings 😂 😂
DD6 is dear daughter aged 6 ! 😊

@Missj25haha I understand now why that poster thought I have 5 kids. No definitely not. I have 2 and that’s more than enough.

my DD has a younger brother, who will start school this year.

Oh my goodness. I see now. 😮

It says that you may not be getting from the school what you are paying for.

(Your DD sounds like a lovely child.)

@JoanOgdenit’a a catch 22. How would she be doing in state school with 30 kids ? Worse or better ? Who knows ? Would a state school even flag a child like her at this point for not being at ‘ expected ‘ level. Is she being flagged because she’s clearly struggling or is she being flagged because she’s not meeting THEIR expected standards ? Is she being flagged because they’re more attentive because they have a smaller class and therefore she’ll get help with her ‘ barriers to learning ‘ earlier to make sure we know how to help her ? I honestly don’t have the answers at all and I’m just very confused.

I have 6 wonderful children 🙌 😊.
4 girls , 2 boys.
My eldest is 32 in March , living In Australia .
I miss her a lot. Had her quite young , I’m 50 now .I have boy & girl 24 year old twins .
21 year old boy next, & 2 girls 18 & 15 .
I always wanted a big family.
We are all very close ☺️.

Don’t worry about your little lady OP , I agree with your husband, give her more time x

for what it’s worth. This is a 3-18 school. I chose it precisely for the reason that it’s more of an all round school with good pastoral care. There are plenty of other prep schools around here that are super competitive and very academically focused. I wanted my kids to be in a good all round environment because I think if they’re happy, they’ll do well. I liked the idea that they could go on to secondary school within the same school too etc.

so I guess what I’m saying is, that I did believe the school to be inclusive.

so there’s a few assumptions we could take - one is that they’re already trying to mange us out of the school.

or we could assume that they’re really super attentive and want to help my DD and understand her learning profile as soon as possible to help her succeed.

or it could be that they have such high standards that even falling slightly below them, prompts intervention and this will continue throughout school.

i just don’t know. All I can say is that she’s very happy there. And I’m sad for her if they’re trying to manage her out already.

History - so Romans, Eyptians, Greeks.
Planets and Science
Coding and physics

She was in a class with 12 girls who were in to Unicorns and Sparkles. And a class teacher who was mad into horses and used to dress her horse up as a unicorn.

You know when you think, these are not my people....

My daughter is now 15 but I wish she’d have had someone this attentive when she was 6. She was largely ignored by her teachers as she was pretty compliant.
She complained about her attention difficulties starting about age 6/7 but I trusted the teachers to say if there was an issue. She was assessed with having dyslexia in yr7 and adhd in yr10.
My niece was assessed to have dyslexia at 7. She’s had a tutor for help around reading and now actually reads books. My daughter hates reading! She’s never read a book. I think if she’d have had my nieces support things would have been different and her entire path through school could have been much easier .
Tutors for youngsters know how to make learning fun so I wouldn’t be concerned about tutoring

Hahaha. A teacher into unicorns too. Your DD sounds fab.

Update: she’s been observed by senco now and they’re going to put a few more strategies in place.

we have jointly identified that it’s particularly the classroom setting that makes it hard for her to retain information.

they were really lovely. My H is on board.