To ask if your 14 year old has their phone overnight?

[Usermoniker]

Recurring argument in our house.

Yabu = my 14 year old has/had their phone all night

Yanbu = yes, they leave phone out of room/I pry it from their surprisingly strong hands each night

No and neither do we, you don’t need a device in your room, get an alarm clock if you need a regular alarm.

Absolutely not. No phone in room until 16 minimum in this house. There’s no reason for it to be in their room at night, it’s just a distraction.

This

Absolutely not

And all the advice from school pastoral depts, MH professionals, police who end up dealing with grooming cases etc etc is not to allow phones in bedrooms in the evening/night. As that’s when all the worst stuff that they see has happened.

No. The kids devices were switched off and left to charge with us from 8pm from the moment they got them. Eldest got in big trouble the few times he then snuck down late at night to try and check his. (Dh goes to bed v late / insomniac - so up at unpredictable times.)

Absolutely not! No phones upstairs is the rule in this house

Weekends and holidays, yes. School nights, no.

Yes, with WiFi inaccessible from 9pm to 7am. She listens to music to wind down.

In fact she is in her late teens now, and decided she wanted the time limits to continue as she likes not having the temptation to scroll endlessly.

No phones and no TVs in bedrooms in our house.

14yo off all screens at 9. Phone downstairs without explicit consent to take it to his room. (Did gives him access to audible and Spotify in his bedroom).

16yo phone locks at 11 unless she is away. Downstairs overnight except the one day she's not at college where it remains in her room incase she wakes up next morning after we've all left to find an axe murderer in the house. (She's not dramatic at all).

No tech/screens in ANY bedrooms overnight, DC’s or ours.

No child should be taking their phone into their bedroom at night.

parents need to stop tip toeing around their children and being afraid to to actually parent.

Mine does, but with only ebooks and a sleep podcast available after 10.

Yes, my dd is 14 and has her phone overnight. From 10pm she can only access music and alarms though.

Absolutely not! Phone on charge in our room or in living room from 9pm during week, 10pm on weekends. All his friends are the same with varying times - he will often say he can only talk to x till 8pm or whatever, so I feel like we are still in the safe zone with his peer group being on the same level.

Dd14, no phone in bedroom after 9.30pm (downstairs charging). iPad allowed in bedroom overnight but on screentime so the only apps that work are for audiobooks and white noise in case she has trouble sleeping. She doesn’t protest this, and says that only one of her friends has her phone overnight, and worryingly often sends messages at 2/3am.

No, definitely not. But from what I can gather from how much they seem to message and try to FaceTime at 2am 🙄 a lot of her friends do. But those friends who do definitely don’t have the sort of parents whose parenting I’m aiming to emulate!

No. My 14-year-old hands it over without issue at bedtime.

Older sibling was allowed their phone overnight after GCSEs.

Just to offer another view- mine have their phones overnight and are actually pretty good at self regulating and going to bed during the week- they are up later gaming/on phone during the holidays and at weekends.

when they were at primary school their phones were downstairs and they were constantly pinging with notifications.

This is really sad. We should be asking WHY children are so addicted to their phones that they need to be physically close all night! It has really all gone much too far and we need to backtrack.

Indeed, we keep the phones in our room and it needs putting on sleep mode or it lights up like a Christmas tree through the night 🙄 I’m sure a few of those parents think their kids aren’t touching their phones.

My DD usually voluntarily handed her phone over at bed time until she went to uni 😂

There was never an argument about it, you hand over your phone and if you argue you don't get it back for the next day as you are showing me you are too immature to have it. It was the condition of having the phone.

If they are sleeping then why would they need a phone? They don't. Case closed.

The temptation is if they wake up they will check their phone so the temptation was removed.

Not on school nights, but she does over the weekend/school holidays.

She works bloody hard at school and is a very high academic achiever, and a generally lovely person. We allow her to enjoy her leisure time as she sees fit (within certain limits obviously).

Another no but no prying from his hand. The phone locks down at 9 or 10 (a couple of his activities finish at 9/9.30 so those nights it's 10 so he can get home with it still active). He doesn't have SM (apart from WhatsApp if that counts) and I can check / restrict his YouTube usage. Calls/ video calls with mates but haven't had any issues with him or them pushing limits (phone times out after 2 hours total usage) but we are fairly rural so it can be difficult to meet with friends during in holidays so I'm usually happy to extend time available.