Dh makes me look/sound stupid in front of children

[Pokemongirlx87]

Probably not the right title but not sure how else to word it

Dh is always trying to make me look stupid/silly in front of our children (9 & 5)

Examples are he asked me what an abbreviation for something was earlier, I got all but one word right and then starting saying how stupid I am for not knowing and how our 9 year old is obviously smarter than me

Other example was i didn't rinse the plates to his standard the other day before putting in the dishwasher. They were rinsed but had small amounts of gravy still on, apparently they should be sparkling before going in the dishwasher, so he went on a 20 rant about useless I am at everything and how our youngest is better at housework than me

He calls you stupid. In front of your children. Completely unacceptable. My guess is that he's a wanker in many other aspects of your relationship.

He sounds like a twat and it’s not behaviour I’d be able to tolerate in a relationship but if you see some redeeming features that make you want to stay with him then I’d just stop responding. When he tests you with an acronym just say ‘interesting question, have you considered googling it?’ Don’t play the game.

This is unacceptable behaviour on your husband’s part.

Also he’s wrong about the dishwasher. You’re only supposed to scrape food off, not rinse. If you rinse the plates the dishwasher doesn’t work efficiently.

He sounds unkind.

He’s horrible. Don’t let your children think this is acceptable

So you married a miserable twat who hates you. Not unreasonable.

Kick him out

He may have put a pretence on before he had her trapped. It’s not uncommon

the only unreasonable aspect of this post is the way someone who is supposed to build you up and cherish you seems to do exactly the opposite. Berating and demeaning you and doing it in front of your children is completely unacceptable
Guessing these anecdotes are the tip of the iceberg.

What's the origin of DHs passive agressive hostility towards you?
I'd say it's not acceptable. Honestly he needs to be hit on the head with the babys cot ( just kiddin-violence is wrong).
Ask him why is he with you if doesn't respect, love and cherish you?
Sorry for the reaction there.

Should You Rinse Your Dishes Before The Dishwasher? We Asked an Expert

Well this might give him something to think about for a start.

Why is he doing it? Is he jealous that the kids prefer you? What does he say when you ask him why he does it?

Yes this is probably just an example of some of the behavior that annoys me but its constant

Interesting article about rinsing. Though even if I show him this he'll say its rubbish and argue with the professional people who wrote it. He has to be right. Even if he is wrong

He sounds a horrific twat. Your children will be learning this behaviour from him. Is this the way you want them to treat future partners or be treated by future partners because they perceive it as normal?

he really hates you. Why is he still there if you're so useless and stupid?

You don't have to live under the irrational regime of a tyrant - that's what I'd compare it to. Prepare your exit asap 👍

He doesn't sound like he likes or respects you. Do you want to stay married to a man that puts you down and tries to humiliate you in front of your children?

This sounds abusive and absolutely not ok. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I think you need to consider leaving before your children are too much older.

Who cares, just dump him. THIS IS NO WAY TO LIVE !

I think abusive is the word you’re looking for. Think how damaging it is for the kids as well. This is unacceptable op. How dare he

Firmly tell him to shut up or get out. Don’t put up with his crap, stand up for yourself.

Think of the example he’s sorting for your children. They’ll grow up to think that’s acceptable.

He is treating you with open contempt, which is terminal for any relationship.

He thinks he’s better than you - but it’s not enough to just think that, he has to demonstrate it by crowing in front of an audience. He really wants to lean into his superiority and get everyone else onside with his view that you’re a useless idiot, even when that audience is just your young (and impressionable) children.

DH and I have quite a sarcastic, piss-takey relationship and in our family nobody gets away with anything - you get to feel the full force of your own idiocy in every situation. It’s blunt but humorous, never done to make people feel small or hurt or bad about themselves, and apologies are quick and sincere if that line’s ever crossed.

It doesn’t sound like your husband would ever apologise to you, OP.

Why are you with him Op? Has he always been this way? If he can't sort himself out, I'd be out of there, taking the kids with me.

I was going yo say this. What kind of idiot is he. Im surprised he's still alive and you havent got a brand new patio!!
You dont treat the mother of your children like this.

Eh this is domestic abuse!
this is unforgivable
time to divorce this man, contact women’s aid for help with planning this if you need.
absolutely do not tolerate this crap at all and stop teaching your children that this is an acceptable way to treat another human being