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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lost it in the parking lot

44 replies

SmudgeButt · 27/02/2026 18:07

Dreadful day on Wednesday which I keep thinking over. Sorry but I'm writing this out of my system hopefully. Very long.

I was heading back to my car with my groceries and had loaded up and was getting in to my car when the couple in the next car arrived. I was parked quite close to their car (passenger sides both) and so the woman ended up standing right at the front of their car waiting to get in. I backed up slowly, aware of her, how close their car was, that I had another big car on the other side I couldn't see past, moving but very cautiously.

Suddenly there was a woman walking close to the back of my car so I slammed on the brakes and gave my horn a beep as if to say "Hey! Careful!!". First mistake.

She scooted around my car, inserted her head in my passenger window (warm day so windows were open) and started shrieking at me that I had tried to hit her. I said something like "you surprised me, I couldn't see you easily" and she continued to shriek about me being stupid for not using my review mirrors. And I said something dumb like "don't be an idiot!" Second mistake.

So still with her head in the window she wound up and smacked my wing mirror and shouted "look!! now you've hit me! you've hit me with your car!" And so I didn't respond with much dignity and said "oh f off, you're an idiot!" Third mistake.

She then starts shouting to the gathering crowd that I tried to back over her and that I've now hit her again with my car. She's going to call the police, she's going to collect evidence. And I respond with a polite "Oh for f sake, why don't you just f off, idiot!" or words to that effect. Losing count of the number of mistakes I made.

She then has walked off a ways so she can start taking pictures of my plate, my car, me. And as I have room now to finish reversing and start going forward so I can leave the parking lot. Unfortunately that means driving towards her. She walks away again and then suddenly turns and lunges towards the car as if to make it look like I was trying to drive in to her. I replied with a surprisingly modest "oh lady, just get out of my way".

At this point she runs around to my side of the car and reaches toward the window. I thought she was going to grab me but I think in fact she may have been trying to take my picture. She's still shouting, I'm shouting back and quite frankly she's so aggressive it's really scary. At this point some bloke that had been getting in his car about 30 feet away runs up and shouts in the passenger window " You're disgusting, really disgusting!". I was very scared and upset but the way is clear so I drive out of the parking lot leaving them all there. It was after this point that I discover that she had hit my side mirror so hard it had been closed, like you do when parking.

Now to be clear - I never hit her. Maybe she felt intimidated when I was driving towards her, that wasn't my intention it was simply to try to get away from her as that was the only way out. I have been the victim of road rage in the past where someone took offence at me being in front of them on the road and when we stopped at some lights jumped out of her car and opened my door and tried to drag me out. Maybe I was reliving that in some sense, I don't know.

I'm not proud of my reactions but hers were way over the top aggressive in my opinion. Not expecting much sympathy but just didn't think of a better way to deal with things at the time. I guess I should have just closed my windows and turned off the engine and wait for her to leave but I didn't think of that at the time.

OP posts:
tripleginandtonic · 27/02/2026 18:10

For real? The onus is on you reversing in a ' parking lot" to take care , no need for the beeping horn or swearing. A hand up and an apology was the only correct course of action Yabvu.

NotThatSerious · 27/02/2026 18:13

Honestly I would have reacted the same as you op. Yes when reversing it’s our responsibility and whatnot but also your not an owl with your head on a swivel. There was no need for her to react like a lunatic and she would have got a firm “fuck off” from me.

doitwithlove · 27/02/2026 18:15

Do you have a front/rear camera? If so this would have caught everything that happened

StormyLandCloud · 27/02/2026 18:20

Hopefully the supermarket has CCTV so anyone can see what actually happened if she did go to the police. When reversing in a car park I usually stop for people walking behind me, but
it’s not always obvious, or possible to see everyone. I’m sure nothing will happen but be polite if the police do knock at the door

JacquesHarlow · 27/02/2026 18:22

Before everyone gets in and gaslights you with “it’s your fault”…

this person was clearly looking for a fight.

YANBU.

SunnyRedSnail · 27/02/2026 18:24

You were reversing carefully and she walked behind a reversing car without paying attention, and then had the audacity to blame you. Probably on her phone.

Then the whole hitting your car thing? She sounds utterly deranged!!

I wouldn't have sworn at her but I would certainly have had a go at her.

Rhaidimiddim · 27/02/2026 18:29

JacquesHarlow · 27/02/2026 18:22

Before everyone gets in and gaslights you with “it’s your fault”…

this person was clearly looking for a fight.

YANBU.

I agree. She was very unreasonable to get so aggressive so quickly.

SoSoLong · 27/02/2026 18:29

She's a loon. Sure, you shouldn't have beeped your horn at her, but everything after that, she deserved.

mollypuss1 · 27/02/2026 18:35

If you had done nothing wrong why did the bystander feel the need to step in and get involved? I’m not saying your version is incorrect but those witnessing the incident obviously viewed it differently.

beeautifullif3 · 27/02/2026 18:37

Can you not reverse into parking spaces ?

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 27/02/2026 18:38

She was a loon, however it’s really worth working on your startle reflex so you don’t go at the horn and brakes.

I say this because I have the same instinct and it’s a bit inflammatory. I am trying to do stress relief activities to bring down my general stressiness so that when things get tense I react more calmly. It is better.

Between my car shrieking ‘look out!’, and my own system screaming ‘careful, what’s that, brake’, it’s very mentally noisy while I’m reversing.

johnd2 · 27/02/2026 18:41

To be honest it sounds like both of you are extremely easily triggered and you both managed to escalate it from a non event to a full on argument where no one comes off well.
It sounds like you've realised how you could have dealt with things better, hopefully she is doing the same!

Anxioustealady · 27/02/2026 18:43

Did you feel pressured to rush because of the woman waiting?

TofuTuesday · 27/02/2026 18:44

Is this real? It sounds absolute madness.
of course you shouldn’t beep at someone walking past your car. You should reverse into a parking space anyway.

Parsleyforme · 27/02/2026 18:50

I think beeping wasn’t the best thing to do but the woman sounds deranged and like she probably would’ve kicked off even if you hadn’t beeped. I’ve seen videos on social media of people launching themselves into cars or pushing someone and claiming that person pushed them. They’re not well and other people can see that in person and on video. Was the guy who shouted at you with her?

popcornandpotatoes · 27/02/2026 18:50

I don't think you've done anything wrong from your description. Are you in the US? Sounds like some kind of scam tbh, trying to making it look like she's been injured

TsunamiTsunami · 27/02/2026 18:51

You were both aggressive unnecessarily but she sounds quite bonkers. The random guy getting involved at the last minute is also weird. It must have appeared differently to him somehow...? I would move on and hope not to hear anymore about it or see her ever again.

Are you in the UK or the states?

pilates · 27/02/2026 18:55

You were unlucky to have had an altercation with a nutter. Draw a line and move on. Next time don’t engage and apologise as there are a lot of weirdos out there.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 27/02/2026 18:55

tripleginandtonic · 27/02/2026 18:10

For real? The onus is on you reversing in a ' parking lot" to take care , no need for the beeping horn or swearing. A hand up and an apology was the only correct course of action Yabvu.

It also says in the Highway Code that pedestrians should not walk behind a car with reversing lights on. Plus it's just common sense not to. Yes, you should be looking all around as a driver but you can't always see people when they appear from behind a larger car.

tripleginandtonic · 27/02/2026 18:58

DeftGoldHedgehog · 27/02/2026 18:55

It also says in the Highway Code that pedestrians should not walk behind a car with reversing lights on. Plus it's just common sense not to. Yes, you should be looking all around as a driver but you can't always see people when they appear from behind a larger car.

She wasn't on a road, she's in a carpark. You should expect pedestrians and act accordingly.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 27/02/2026 19:00

tripleginandtonic · 27/02/2026 18:58

She wasn't on a road, she's in a carpark. You should expect pedestrians and act accordingly.

You should expect cars reversing out and fucking wait for a minute if it's in the middle of an maneouvre and the driver may not see you, unless you have a death wish. And read the Highway Code. It's much more likely that a reversing car would hit you there than on the road.

JacquesHarlow · 27/02/2026 19:02

DeftGoldHedgehog · 27/02/2026 19:00

You should expect cars reversing out and fucking wait for a minute if it's in the middle of an maneouvre and the driver may not see you, unless you have a death wish. And read the Highway Code. It's much more likely that a reversing car would hit you there than on the road.

Edited

Why the cursing and the excessive criticism?

I agree that many people make a meal of reversing in this country, but are you saying that even if the OP did, the response was proportionate?!!

throwing yourself at a car, shouting at the driver…is this now ok?

The OP didn’t strike her or even near-miss her.

WonderfulSmith · 27/02/2026 19:03

When you reverse in a car park it’s on you to look out for pedestrians.

(Or as chat GTP would have it ‘backing up in a parking lot’. You should specify British English.)

DeftGoldHedgehog · 27/02/2026 19:04

JacquesHarlow · 27/02/2026 19:02

Why the cursing and the excessive criticism?

I agree that many people make a meal of reversing in this country, but are you saying that even if the OP did, the response was proportionate?!!

throwing yourself at a car, shouting at the driver…is this now ok?

The OP didn’t strike her or even near-miss her.

If you don't like "cursing" this is the wrong site for you. Also I'm not defending the pedestrian.

Megifer · 27/02/2026 19:05

One thing ive learned about peds in car parks is they lose all road sense and men get a rush of testosterone (yea yea namalt etc etc) when they see a woman in any type of "incident"

I find a silent shake of the head is quite satisfying and always ensure I have my phone handy to record weirdos.