To rarely cook from scratch?

[Timberss]

I have two children. I work full time, so does DH. We don’t earn a lot so can’t afford to hire help, so everything’s on me. DH does lots round the house but works away for weeks at a time.

I drive the kids around to their after school activities, try to keep up with the washing, cleaning etc, but to cook as well as cleaning up on top of all the other jobs that need done, I am finding impossible.

I used to enjoy learning to cook. My parents didn’t cook much other than spaghetti bolognese, but when DC were younger, i would try some different recipes. I’m just too exhausted now and too run ragged!

Can anyone relate, or am I just a bad mum!

You also have different generations posting. I am 61, so I was brought up in a 'cooking from scratch' household, so that is the normal way to cook from me.

Looking back over the OP's post, it seems that she grew up in convenience household, and is carrying this on.

I don't batch cook, or prepare several meals from a basic mix. I cook because I enjoy it and take pride in providing for my family in this way. I have the basic skills required to eg, not let chopping vegetables faze me.

I don't enjoy cleaning, and have never taken my children to after school activities. I don't see the point in cleaning the house when you have been out all day. Children don't really look back on wistfully to what they did after school.

Depends what you’re talking about when cooking “from scratch”. We have a “rubbish” meal once a week on a Friday (chicken nuggets and chips). Takes 20 mins in oven. On another day we have spag bol (basic version - onion, mince, mushrooms, Passata, herbs) - also only takes 20 mins. I don’t really see the difference in time. The chicken nuggets for us is a “treat” once a week. It’s not a time thing and the only “prep” is cutting an onion and mushrooms. You could even get pre chopped of this was a deal breaker.

Oven cooked chicken breast (with little olive oil and salt) with mashed potato and veg. Like a mini roast dinner. Again 20 mins.

I class from scratch as ingredients that aren’t already processed and honestly yeah you should be trying to make sure most of your food is that.

I find it quicker to cook and a lot healthier. But the main reason will be financial. If you planned your shop around batch cooking then tou would save a lot of money. If you kids only ever think food comes from the freezer then you’re also missing out on educating them about food and widening the foods they will eat. Is anyone in the household overweight? Do you still have fruit and veg as part of daily diet?

asking people “am I a bad mum?” is a bit immature. You’re obviously not a bad mum based on this but you do seem to like to justify it with excuses like working full time and driving kids around.

i think it would be easy to start with 3 nights a week home cooking, you could batch cook for this. The busiest 4 could then be freezer food.

I almost never cook from scratch - I'm autistic have sensory issues around food and need things that are safe and predictable, otherwise I'll gag (or be sick) and chuck it in the bin. Once I've gagged on something, I can't eat it.

I live off stuff I can put in the air fryer, soup, jacket potatoes and frozen veg, sandwiches (sometimes toasted), fruit and packet snacks. My blood tests are fine, I'm not deficient in anything and I walk 18-20k steps a day.

Like a PP said, MN is not representative of the general population so don't make people on here make you feel guilty. There's a reason supermarkets are full of ready meals, freezer foods and convenience snacks and it's not because it's there for show. Most people buy this stuff.

This. No one can be arsed with long winded fancy recipes day to day but making stuff can be quick, easy and cheap.

It is lazy though. It’s either lazy from a time perspective or lazy from an education perspective. I work full time and manage it (most nights - let’s say 5/7, but most breakfasts and lunches are low UPF too). It doesn’t mean you have to create complicated dishes but it does require some level of planning and knowing which foods are low / no UPF but convenient (reading ingredients, researching).

I also don’t ascribe to the let’s all pretend someone doing a fairly bad job is still doing their best because they might be, but their best isn’t a particularly high standard. I’m not sure the OP is bothered by what one random person on the internet thinks so it’s a moot point. Objectively though, feeding your kids convenience food most of the time is pretty lazy

As I say, her resources, time, energy,support etc etc are different from mine, yours and everyone else on Mumsnet. You choosing not to take that into account is clear.

You don’t know if you’ve made her feel
worse - it’s not a moot point - that you may have is the point. However to you she’s simply lazy.

It’s awful to sit in judgement of someone whose life you have no idea about who is stating she’s struggling.

Did posting that make you feel better?

To be fair, the now-vanished OP did ask if others thought she was a bad mum (which I interpret to be lazy). She clearly isn't lazy overall as she spends a lot of time ferrying her children around and cleaning, and is not sitting on the sofa eating chocolates all day.

I can see what the TPA is saying - that she is mentally lazy. It's a case of where your family values sit and how you prioritise these. We all have weaknesses - a big one for me is putting laundry away and doing household admin in a timely fashion.

I would suggest that the OP is not completely happy about never cooking, otherwise she wouldn't have started this thread. My advice would be to get a couple of recipe books that seem to be right for your family or helpful websites, and have a goal to make 2 meals from scratch a week, at the beginning.

Good luck, OP.

I seriously doubt there was any self-gratification.

Then what was the purpose of it other than to make OP feel like shit?

I rarely cook full stop i hate cooking.
It either take away or something from a packet.
But i do live a lone.

We don't know how the OP feels. Don't project your personal issues.

No issues here, I just don't think it's necessary to call someone lazy based on that OP. It's just being unkind for the sake of it.

Stop feeling guilty OP - you and your DH work and I’m sure you’re doing the best for your kids. Things may change ongoing and you have more opportunity to cook differently than you do now.

Depends on what you are eating, and if there is fresh produce available - fruit, lean meats, veg etc. I try to give my child as much fresh produce as possible but it’s not always possible and sometimes it’s frozen pizza, carrots, chopped up tomatoes and grapes!

How many after school activities are you driving the children around to? Can you car pool ?

I had a limit as to how many activities the kids could do. Mainly because everyone gets too tired and ratty and as you say, then you don’t have time to do things back home. if they wanted to try something else, then they had to wait until the end of the current season or drop something. Having said that, they were pretty good bunch and generally happy to be home most afternoons from school..

She asked a question and I answered. Just because the answer isn’t sugar coated doesn’t mean it isn’t a valid opinion, which was asked for. Self gratification would have involved me posting about how fantastic I am, which I did not

Try cooking like your grandparents - meat, potatoes, veg. The former gets put in the oven; the others get boiled. Prep time is 5 min max and you can do other things while they cook.