To rarely cook from scratch?

[Timberss]

I have two children. I work full time, so does DH. We don’t earn a lot so can’t afford to hire help, so everything’s on me. DH does lots round the house but works away for weeks at a time.

I drive the kids around to their after school activities, try to keep up with the washing, cleaning etc, but to cook as well as cleaning up on top of all the other jobs that need done, I am finding impossible.

I used to enjoy learning to cook. My parents didn’t cook much other than spaghetti bolognese, but when DC were younger, i would try some different recipes. I’m just too exhausted now and too run ragged!

Can anyone relate, or am I just a bad mum!

Cooking from scratch can be super quick if you need it to be!

No, I never have! I didn't say I always cook from scratch though. I was very much team YANBU - you were the one telling op how to cook from scratch and then mentioning foods which I would not think of as cooking from scratch.

It isn't a competition - what you cook sounds totally fine. I'm sure what op cooks is fine too

Cooking from scratch is a huge time commitment. It involves careful planning, shopping, prepping, cooking and cleaning. And it’s relentless. Very hard to achieve consistently for parents who work full time and especially if you are solo parenting. But it’s a tricky one because you don’t want to feeding your kids crappy food like takeaways, ready meals, pub grub, etc. So for their sake you need to find a balance and figure out how to cook cheap and easy meals.

Hi there

I’d love to know what veg protein you prepare in your air fryer, and how you do it, if you don’t mind sharing!

I cooked “from scratch “ (hateful expression) for the family for 20 years but not saying that cause I want a medal, but just that there are short cuts

and easy meals

most of the time basic stuff like boil some salad potatoes (unpeeled) in salted water, cook some broccoli or green beans, fry up a pork chop or some chicken, tadah you have a meal.

i found having a rice cooker helped. Often do stirfry with rice. Or pasta with a simple sauce and salad.

What sort of meals do you eat OP? It does not have to be complicated recipe, just food

You were the one sneering that none of what @Wooky073 mentioned was, in your view, "cooking from scratch" apart from the potato wedges. But I'm glad to see that now you've been called out on it you're taking a different position.

You’re not a bad mum at all @Timberss 👍🏻☺️
I also work FT, have a DH who works at sea for weeks at a time, only 1 DC but I’m also the main carer for an elderly relative. I also am unable to drive for medical reasons so have to factor in walking time to school, activities/extra curriculars, work etc. So I get it, life is busy 🫠

Batch cooking is my saviour. One morning a week (usually the day after my shopping is delivered), I spend a couple of hours cooking with DS and we make big batches of 3 main dishes - eg, bolognese, chicken curry, lentil & sweet potato curry, chilli, chicken casserole, beef stew, sausage & bean casserole etc. One will be on the go in the slow cooker and the others on the hob.

Depending on what I have in, I’ll sometimes make a pot of soup too.
I portion it all up into “adult” and “child” portions so that it’s easy to grab depending on who is eating that night and there isn’t waste if I’ve frozen a family size portion and DH isn’t here for example. Each dish will usually make 8-10 portions.

We pretty much live off of these when DH is away and I’m working. I just lift out however many portions we need the night before and defrost them. Then when I get home it’s a case of heating it through and maybe cooking some rice/pasta.
I bulk out each one loads with veggies so not only does it give more portions - but I know DS is getting plenty veg.

I try to cook fresh on my days off - tray bakes are always popular here as I can fling them in the oven for half an hour while playing with DS and I’m not having to stand over the cooker. Also useful just to use up any veg left over from the week. Or I’ll make whatever we fancy and if it’s freezable then I double up on it and freeze the rest in portions.

The next week I’ll cook a different 3 dishes so the freezer is always stocked with maybe 8/9 different dishes that we can pick from.

So in total I cook 3 times a week at most. And it means that after work/activities etc that I don’t really need to think or try and put a meal together. Also really handy for the nights where we’re home for a quick dinner then straight back out the door to clubs etc.

If you read my post I’m not suggesting that anyone with a family who is also working full time can ‘cook from scratch’ as it takes longer and working parents don’t have the luxury of time.

what I am doing is suggesting some hacks to reduce processed foods, batch cook fresh from scratch when time available and use hacks to reduce ultra processed food which can also not be too time intensive. Not sure what turkey twizlers have got to do with it.

if you have any tips you would like to share to help others that would be great.

Can you switch the priority to cooking over cleaning? Can the DC drop to 1 club?

Hardly sneering - just clarifying, and I haven't changed my position at all if you look at my initial post.

Yes, balance is definitely helpful as you say, but I actually did read your post. You said you had to cook convenience food when you were "in survival too", which I read as you assuming op cooks convenience food, when I didn't get that from her op at all. I was merely clarifying, but it is clearly a sore point for you and Gaspard there so i will leave you to it 👋

As long as they have the calories, vitamins, fibre, and other nutrients needed then it's fine

Don't let perfect become the enemy of good

Oh thank goodness - I was beginning to think I was the only person who cooked basic food! I live alone so eat frozen chicken, fish, tinned fish etc. (I don't eat much meat) and boil some potatoes and other veg., as well as use frozen peas, corn, beans, spinach, stir fry etc. None of this takes long and is easy.

If you never model cooking, are your kids going to follow in your footsteps?

Cooking from scratch is hardly difficult. You just need some go-to recipes.

You can also assess the time spent on other things that are seemingly more important to you.

I have also always been extremely time poor (lone parent for many years and very demanding job with long hours) but ultra processed food just doesn’t do much good for my digestion so I have always made basic meals even when I had little time - often batch cooking on the weekend too. But dd and I are quite happy to eat the same meal several times a week.

Here’s one idea from when I was F/T working mum: batch cook mince and onion. Sauté a couple of chopped onions in a little oil in the biggest pan/stock pit you have. Add at least 1kg minced beef, cook until no pink bits left. Cool. Divide, put in bags or boxes, label them Batch Mince and freeze.
You will have the basis of bolog, chilli, meat pie etc. jus Rol ready rolled puff pastry is brilliant.
it used to be a lifesaver for me at least two weekdays.

Here’s one idea from when I was F/T working mum: batch cook mince and onion. Sauté a couple of chopped onions in a little oil in the biggest pan/stock pit you have. Add at least 1kg minced beef, cook until no pink bits left. Cool. Divide, put in bags or boxes, label them Batch Mince and freeze.
You will have the basis of bolog, chilli, meat pie etc. jus Rol ready rolled puff pastry is brilliant.
it used to be a lifesaver for me at least two weekdays.

The OP is doing her best. They both work FT and her husband works away for weeks at a time.

To dismiss her as “lazy” is really mean. She sounds the opposite of lazy. She sounds tired and overwhelmed and doubtful of how well she’s doing.

You probably made her feel a whole lot worse. We all do the best we can with the time, energy, ability, money and support resources that we have and that looks different for each one of us. Her resources will not be the same as yours or mine or anyone else on here.

so what do you eat?

Personally, i believe nutrition is a higher priority than clubs or cleaning

perhaps cut back on the clubs during the week

Yes i think the majority of familes live like this when working with small children its only on mumsnet that cooking from scratch is made into a big thing.

If everyone is cooking for scratch like mumsnet like to make you believe why are companies like dolmio, aunt bessie,birds eye and mccains thriving.

Mumsnet is not representative of the general population.

100% when I come on here its like i live on a different planet. People struggling on their 100k income, upf being the devil, feeding a family of 4 with a small chicken for a week. Everyone going no contact with family after the slightest inconvenience.

My saving grace for this was when DS1 got big enough to cook. When DH was away, DS1 used to cook things like wraps, sausage tray bake, pasta and a sauce so we could all eat when I got in. I then spent me evening driving them round (drop off DS2, drop off DS1, collect DS2, home for 35 mins, then collect DS1). I hated those nights, but the days DS1 just shoved beige stuff in the oven was much harder to keep going through the rest of the evening, and I felt crap the next day.
You may actually feel better and have more energy if you devote 20 mins a night to cooking sonething.

Just start small if you can so on a Sunday make a huge batch of bolognaise, then freeze in portions. Take a portion out before you go to work, one can go with pasta, add a tin of beans and chilli for another and have with tacos etc. tray bakes ate also so easy and quick especially if you get pre chopped veg. Just aim for small changes. You are so busy.