Anti social behavior or boys being boys

[ChocolateSqueezyyogurts]

I received a phone call from the police today but was in work so didnt answer. They left a VM saying they would call me later (obviously I was confused and concerned why) they rang back a couple of hours later to say my 16 year old DS and a group of his friends have been caught on CCTV playing football on a local astro turf pitch and the club has reported them for anti social behaviour.

The club think the boys have climbed over the fence but the boys are saying the gate was left open and they know they shouldn't have been on there but they didnt think anybody would know.

The police officer said they wanted to visit each of the boys at home to explain that they are being let off this time but to issue a warning.

Ive obviously told my son not to do this again but I think young lads this age are probably always pulling stunts like this and to class it as anti social behavior is a bit much.

I suppose you’d have to see the video really, playing football where they’re not supposed to be I’d class as trespassing but if they were being really loud and rough I’d say antisocial. We have a football pitch nearby and when people are walking around it I’ve seen kids play a little on it, I suppose the difference is that the club minds

Astro turf is very expensive.
Playing on it with the wrong footwear can damage the surface. And actually cause injury to those playing.
So this wasn't a negligible thing to do. They could have caused expensive damage and possibly hurt themselves.

If you obviously don't take his irresponsible behaviour seriously OP no wonder he thinks he can do what he likes regardless of negative consequences.

Sounds like your son and friends were well in the wrong. You need to let Police and talk to him yourself. I don't buy into 'boys being boys' which actually means zilch and is an excuse mostly used by parents of kids getting into trouble But if Police keep catching them doing antisocial or similar it will not be just a telling off. You need to fix this

Regardless of wether they jumped a fence or walked though the gate they knew they wasn't allowed to be there and they did not have the permission of the landowner to play football there, doesn't matter if they thought anyone would find out fact is they've done wrong and it is antisocial behaviour as it would be considered both rowdy/inconsiderate behaviour and trespassing.

Hopefully they'll not do it again and think before they do stuff in the future.

I couldn't get too excited about this. Explain to your ds the fragile nature of AstroTurf, and tell him not to do it again.

I wouldn't worry op. It sounds like the local community copper has some time on their hands, hence the personalised visits.

I'm really not a fan of the 'BWBB' saying. But the 'incident' sounds pretty mild so beyond sternly telling ds not to do it again, my (private) thoughts would be 'meh'.

There is no such thing as boys being boys. That's just an excuse for parents to justify their kids poor behaviour.

but I think young lads this age are probably always pulling stunts like this and to class it as anti social behavior is a bit much.

So you think "boys will be boys"....

Its not your place to say it wasnt Anti social behaviour; because it wasnt your property. You dont get to minimise the impact because it doesnt seem that bad to you. The impact is defined by the one who was impacted, not by the mother of the boy (being boys). So yes YABU. Let the police come down their talk; and reinforce that they were in the wrong, not "boys being boys".

No it’s not boys being boys.

Its kids trying their luck doing what they shouldn’t. All pretty standard but the have been caught and as much as pushing the boundaries is pretty standard human behaviour the were caught in CCTV and therefore will suffer the natural consequence.

I despise ‘boys will be boys’, it has been used to excuse sexual assault and even rape, it is used to excuse poor behaviour by male members of the species when they don’t need any more excuses. I say that as a mother of boys.

That aside, I wouldn’t be too worked up about the police calling it anti social behaviour. The kids did wrong, they knew they were doing wrong but sis it anyway, the gate being open is not an excuse, the club were unhappy and the police are going to talk to them but not take it further. Seems reasonable to me.

I'd listen to what the police officer said and make sure that any damage was paid for. If there wasn't any damage then I'd probably just follow up with a "that wasn't a smart thing to do, was it?" kind of talk and then leave it there.

It's not so much a boys will be boys thing as a teenagers sometimes make poor decisions and by that age I see my role as more to encourage better decision-making rather than haranguing them for the bad choices.

This would've been a better thread to start after the police have been round to tell them exactly what they saw on the CCTV.

Not sure what good it'll do before that.

Seems massively OTT getting the police involved. The police are probably resenting having to deal with it but probably have a duty to the club who reported it. Teenagers (not just boys. Girls will be girls and do this type of shit just as much) are going to get up to stuff like this. It’s a rite of passage. Nothing will come of it, but at least they know not to climb over (or walk through the open gate) of this particular football ground again.

I agree with this 100%.
If any damage has to be paid for, obviously this should come from your sons money, not yours.

Boys will be boys shouldn’t ever be a thing. It’s always a cop out for poor behaviour.

They entered somewhere they shouldn’t have and were pissing around enough that the place called the police.

I mean normally you’d tell people to leave. So either they did and the boys ignored them or they were possibly acting in such a way the staff member felt uncomfortable approaching them.

Or possibly the people monitoring the CCTV work in an out-sourced property management call centre miles away and just phoned the police as a matter of course. There are lots of possibilities.

Boys will be boys is sex-specific bollocks, but this does sound like kids being kids and not really appreciating the potential problems with what they did.

I would want to be clear that they didn't break in though as I think that would be more of an intentional boundary crossing, whereas I could believe that an open gate didn't seem 'as bad' if I knew that they wouldn't appreciate the issues surrounding playing on AstroTurf etc (which I wouldnt have known about either TBF.)

Can’t believe people still say ‘boys will be boys’ 🙄

Fair point though the companies I know either send their own security team or call a member of staff that’s a key holder and they attend.

Only time police are normally called would be if it was deemed unsafe to attend.

Bit odd to send out your cctv work to a company that don’t have people available to attend.

A bit of responsibility for his actions wouldn't go amiss and is a reminder him and his mates can't do what they like.
And mum asking is it a case of bbb doesnt help as it's a get out of jail card.

Just having monitored CCTV costs way less than having monitored CCTV plus attendance cover.

Trespass and a warning - seems a wholly proportionate response.

Mothers and their sons 🙄

It’s not at the more extreme level of antisocial behaviour but yes, breaking into an AstroTurf pitch and mucking about on it - bearing in mind that most people will have to pay to use them and they’re expensive to use repair and maintain - isn’t something they should get away with. The response was appropriate. Also there’s no way the gates were open and they thought it was OK and you’re naive if you think that’s the truth.

‘Boys will be boys‘ isn’t a thing. Boys aren’t hardwired to behave like tossers and pretending that they are is what actually does make them into tossers.

Playing sport with intent hardly seems like the crime of the century. But yes, he needs a good telling off for trespassing regardless. My brother got into far worse scrapes but has since turned into a fine upstanding member of the community, so all hope is not lost. Keep him in studying for the weekend to make up for it. If there is any damage, they should fix it or pay for it.

Would you be happy if you came home to find some kids you don't know playing in your garden? Or maybe a stranger sitting on your sofa watching your TV? It's no different. Whether they climbed in or walked in, it was private land, they shouldn't have been there, it was disrespectful and they were trespassing. Hopefully this will give them a wake up call.