Anti social behavior or boys being boys

[ChocolateSqueezyyogurts]

I received a phone call from the police today but was in work so didnt answer. They left a VM saying they would call me later (obviously I was confused and concerned why) they rang back a couple of hours later to say my 16 year old DS and a group of his friends have been caught on CCTV playing football on a local astro turf pitch and the club has reported them for anti social behaviour.

The club think the boys have climbed over the fence but the boys are saying the gate was left open and they know they shouldn't have been on there but they didnt think anybody would know.

The police officer said they wanted to visit each of the boys at home to explain that they are being let off this time but to issue a warning.

Ive obviously told my son not to do this again but I think young lads this age are probably always pulling stunts like this and to class it as anti social behavior is a bit much.

Unless they were shouting and screaming at 3am, the neighbours would be pathetic wet wipes if they complain about teenagers playing football on a football pitch.

‘Damaged by not wearing the correct footwear’
The world really has gone mad! This must be one of the most pearl clutching posts I’ve ever read on MN..and the bar is high there!
If it’s so damaging to wear trainers (which will v likely be what the kids were wearing) rather than football boots then why are half the kids allowed to wear trainers at my DD’s weekly football sessions?

The criminalisation of kids behaviour is a bit 🙄
Playing football on a football pitch when it is not in use should be totally normal. and teenagers meeting to play together is a great thing, much better than being stuck at home playing video games.
Teenagers belong in the public space as well.

We have a group of youths currently running amok in the early hours of the morning knocking on doors, frightening the elderly etc. I can see which parents on here would be excusing it as boys needing to be boys.

I’m assuming the club has CCTV for a reason

They aren’t doing anything like that though 😂

They are playing football on a football pitch!

Exactly, always pulling stunts like this doesn’t make it right. Most of us manage to get through teen years having fun without doing anything antisocial.

Why do people keep comparing this to something totally different? I don’t agree with the phrase ‘boys will be boys’ either but I agree that ‘kids will be kids’. Of course knocking on doors and scaring elderly people or vandalising property is wrong and should be punished. But these boys weren’t doing anything like this - they’re actions weren’t even disturbing or annoying anyone

I don’t think that’s true. Can you honestly say you and no one you knew ever did anything anti social as a teen?

@Fearlesssloth how do you know they weren’t disturbing anyone?

I help with a youth group. There are rules on how many hours the venue can be used by this group and others so as to not cause too much disturbance for the neighbours

I said most of us, I definitely knew of people who did stuff but they were the rough kids.

Has OP confirmed what time they were playing?

To me the act of using the football pitch for it's intended purpose but just not paying for it is more theft or trespassing than ASB?

But tell him to take whatever punishment is given and apologise and move on. Tell him to offer to pay the owner of the pitch the fee it costs to use it?

It's not really for you to question it as he's clearly done something wrong. But yeah. It's definitely on the milder scale of what I would consider could constitute ASB. Unless they damaged the pitch, it was very late and they woke up the neighbours etc.

Does the cctv show them climbing in, or walking through an open gate, or opening a gate to get in? Whatever way they shouldn't have been in there although climbing in would be worse. They are only getting a warning, which seems fair.

I’m not convinced that any criminal offence at all has been committed, so I don’t see that any more than a “warning” could be given in any event.

I suppose the other question is does this happen a lot, children climbing in and fooling about and maybe causing damage, your lot may be the ones who got caught and the owners want it stopped.

I don't like boys will be boys, that's just an excuse.
Talk to DS, explain it was wrong and he could have got hurt or damaged the pitch. The police obviously aren't overly worried and are just going to let them off with a warning.
All seems a bit OTT but it's not my property.

Massive Under reaction from you. What are they going to break into next? I would be reading the riot act. Who the fuck do they think they are that they think that they can access private property which such disregard.

I think there are a number of issues here:

• Astro is expensive and needs to be maintained. If it is normally locked then there is a reason. It should be used in a regulated way, whether that is by the club or if hired out, as a booked facility.
• The right footwear (that might be trainers but it might not) is important and so are aspects like no chewing gum, no pets, no smoking or vaping. Your DS and his friends may not have been doing these things, but the club needs to protect its facility.
• I think it’s a good thing if the police are taking this seriously. I have had involvement in a number of sports facilities and it is really wearisome how they are abused by “just kids being kids”. A cricket club my DC played for regularly had its pitch (which unfortunately was not lockable) damaged. Athletics tracks have also fallen victim to having mud dragged over them and inappropriate footwear worn on them. All of this means that those who pay to take part in the sport there cannot do so until the issue is fixed.
• There is also the safety aspect. Usually YP would be supervised on the facility or at least if they hired it, would have to agree to some basic safety regs. Just going on and playing when they shouldn’t could lead to issues. What if there had been an accident? Would the club be to blame?

If he and his mates want to play football they should find a public park and go there. Or hire the astro in a proper way.

OP I think both you and the police are right in this instance.

Boys WILL be boys. Perhaps the people who don't think so haven't had much male input in their lives.

However, letting the local copper in your home to tell him off won't hurt either.

He did something wrong, he'll be told off, situation over, move on.

But there's been no mention on vandalism?

Surely if the club have cctv they know if the boys climbed over or the gate was left open? I would want an answer to this as for me both are different on how I would deal with it.

They were the fun kids you mean. Getting up to a bit of mischief isn’t a result of bad parenting, which you seem to be suggesting by saying it was only the “rough” kids

@plentyofsunshine but we need to stop the excuse of boys will be boys. Parents of sons need to stop using this phrase

I think it's important to nip it in the bud the minute teenagers start with the attitude of doing what they want just because they can. They were trespassing.

Please don't excuse bad behaviour with "boys will boys". Yes they will be from time to time so they need reminding to behave themselves.