Why is it so hard to lose weight but so easy to gain weight

[Appleday11]

I have been trying for the last two years to lose weight. It took me about six months to lose three pounds. Then I went to my parents for Christmas, ate more than I usually would and I put on three pounds in one week. Three months later i havent been able to shift the three pounds. I go out walking every day, I go to the gym three times a week. I eat pretty healthily. I only let myself have snacks one day a week. The rest of the week is soup, salads, chicken etc. I hate the mental exhaustion of trying to lose weight.

Why does it take so long to get weight off, but so little time to put weight on.

I've been doing the Michael Moseley Fast 800 12 week sugar diet to keep DH company as he was borderline diabetic.
The first week was very hard, no sugar or refined carbs (not many spuds either). I usually end up at 900-1100 calories per day, so my weight loss isn't as swift. There's various recipes in the book.

I'm a creature of habit so my breakfast is oats (2 dessert spoons), full fat Greek yoghurt (2 dessert spoons) and one desert spoon of nuts/seeds (200kcals).
I have soup for lunch (150-180kcals) it usually has chicken, ham or beans in it.
That leaves 400-600 calories for dinner and a couple of cups of tea.

I'm used to it now so don't feel particularly hungry. But key for me is having a cup of tea the second I walk in the door as that was prime snack time. I had three stone to lose and have lost a stone and a half. I seem to lose just about two pounds a week although it was quicker at the start.

Good luck OP, I've had lots of false starts over the years, but I've found something that is working for me.

It’s not, people just find it easier to eat more than eat less.

Are you eating a lot of protein and drinking a lot of water?

ramping both of those up will hopefully make a difference.

I've got a few pounds to lose. I tend to do a lot of DIY or cleaning to keep busy or i just eat less.

I don't eat less AND move more.

Generally eating less means no breakfast, maybe some chocolate rice cakes for lunch and then normal but large dinner like salad, soup, chilli, curry & rice and no dessert or sweets. Tbh once I'm in the swing of it, it's fine. I have a low energy wfh job so it's not like I need loads of calories.

Fasting has been the most simple way for me. I don't need to give it brain space. It gets easier once you're a week or two in. For me its been a quick and efficient way to lose weight.

I can highly recommend Noom. It does exactly that - gives you a structured weight loss and eating psychology course alongside calorie counting. I found it eye-opening.

I don’t know, I find the opposite to be true

It's hard because we're an animal who's evolved to survive the ever present threat of starvation, and now we live in completely different circumstances. You're finding it really hard work to exert willpower, but deliberately restricting oneself in the face of high calorie food is not a trait that humans had any use for until very recently. Hence most of us aren't very good at it.

Here’s an example of what I think OP is talking about - it relates to epigenetics. https://www.ohsu.edu/school-of-medicine/moore-institute/dutch-famine-birth-cohort
“Children whose mothers were in utero during the famine were heavier at birth, while those whose fathers were exposed in utero were heavier in adult life – suggesting different epigenetic influences according to the sex of the parent”

Hey OP it was a shame the poster who was being sneery at you didn’t condescend to explain what was wrong with what you were saying! Simply, genetics is about the code in your DNA. Our genes can be affected by our parents’ experiences before our conception IF there is something which causes DNA mutation in their egg or sperm cells, like radiation. This could potentially then be passed on to our own children too through the DNA ‘instructions’ in our own eggs or sperm.
We can also be affected by experiences in our own lifetime, including within the womb, which have lifelong effects but don’t alter the code in our DNA - they aren’t genetic changes. For example foetal alcohol syndrome. So if your mother is starving it would make sense that would affect the environment in the womb and maybe affect how your body regulates itself with hormones in future.
Lamarckian theory was mentioned. Lamarck was the guy who, pre-Darwin, thought evolution occurred because changes during an animal’s lifetime got passed on to their offspring, e.g. giraffes’ necks stretched from reaching up and their offspring were born already having long necks like their parents.
Darwin realised this isn’t how evolution works and came up with the correct theory of natural selection - there is natural variation in the population and a slight advantage to, e.g. giraffes with longer necks would mean that they had, on average more offspring, which would gradually change the population over time. Although Darwin couldn’t explain everything about his own theory as they didn’t know about genetic inheritance back then (or to be accurate the very first research had been done but Darwin never got to read it!).
Sorry this is a bit of a tangent for a weight loss thread, but I hope it makes sense.

So how can you be in calorie deficit and still not lose weight?

I always found this the big contradiction in the calories in Vs out. If you say you still aren't losing with a calorie deficit (like some pp) then you get the 'starvation mode' thing thrown at you or told you aren't eating enough or you are lying/wrong about your calories. Which is it?

If it's just maths then 'eating too little' shouldn't be a thing, you would just lose more weight.

All this..particularly for women over 40 there are many hormonal factors at play. Im sure you have calculated your TDEE. In my experience it is even lower than suggested. It takes a lot of work and not much food to stay at your ideal weight.fasting works well for me..have you considered microdosing with montjaro..you may have less side effects.

I find this a useful explanation. She’s a well respected neuroscientist.

She explains what we think of as ‘starvation mode’.

I weigh everything, nothing goes in my mouth untracked or uncounted. I’ve lost three stone, admittedly this last half a stone is taking its time but the science is calories in should be 500 under your tdee. Just because you think you’re eating healthy doesn’t mean you are in a deficit.
it’s tedious, boring and I’m fed up to the back teeth of it tbh but it does work and I’ll likely be doing some form of weighing and counting forever to stay at the new weight

I eat twice a day; lunch and supper. For lunch I eat a big salad with cheese and then I eat two yoghourts and a big slice of homemade vanilla pudding (almond powder, eggs, raw sugar, a bit of flour and 3 vanilla youghurts) with jam. For supper I often eat pesto pasta with lots of peas and cheese, a youghurt and 50 g of dark chocolate.

I always get really full by my meals- if not I take another youghurt. And I never get hungry btw meals. Not hungry in the morning so I guess I'm doing intermittent fasting without effort. But I hate being hungry and couldn't possibly skip a meal.

46 and bmi 20. @Appleday11 Try it OP for 2 weeks. I don't think there is one size fits all- I couldn't count calories because it's so boring and I also couldn't live without my chocolate😅

Your grandad was born with the genes he had before the Nazis starved him. The starvation didn't change his genes.
I've lost 1st 2lbs and kept it off. I'm back to being a size 10. I did it through calorie deficit and lifting weights. I'm 60. Aerobic exercise does nothing for me. Lifting weights in the bedroom for 10 minutes every single day toned things up, pulled things in and burned calories . Eating good things is important but the portions have to be right . Eating huge portions of good stuff will keep you just as fat as smaller portions of bad stuff

Lost over 5 stone and roughly maintained it for over 4 years now. I tracked everything through MFP, wore a Fitbit or Apple Watch every day religiously. Got a dog in 2020 which helped massively with activity levels between work, dog walks and weight training at a gym 5 days a week I average 20-25k steps a day unless poorly and no longer track food actively at all. I have AuDHD and Arfid however so way more aware of calories than the average person! I think sub consciously my brain keeps track.

I read what your eating and it's carbs. bread and pasta will do it every time.

Stop with the carbs and your weight will drop.

carbs raise insulin levels and higher insulin levels will stop you loosing weight.

I have to eat about 1400 calories to maintain my weight of 62kg. I know this because I’ve done it for over a year.
Any more I start to gain weight but eating under 1500 I maintain. I actually probably maintain at 1300 because sometimes I eat a bit less other times a bit more so evens out. I track every thing that goes into my mouth.

It's partly because we hold a reserve of liquid. This is why, often if you start a diet from a position of being overweight and having been eating freely, you can have a huge loss in week 1 - half a stone or more. Your body uses up that reserve before it starts using up fat. The reverse is true - if you have been on a diet and suddenly eat freely, your body will stock up that reserve so you have a big gain literally overnight.

In both directions, it settles down into a steady loss or gain if you continue on the same eating course.

Naturally, it is psychologically easier for most people to gain weight than to lose it, because most people enjoy food, and fat and sugar both make food more tempting and palatable so it plays into comfort eating, celebration eating and so on - most people would find a plate of chips or a piece of cake more tempting than a green salad.

Genetics also play a big part in this - some people are programmed to feel full more quickly, so they eat less, some people have a more muscular build, are taller etc. so their bodies burn more energy even at rest.

Also on epigenetics: your genes themselves don’t change due to life experiences. But what can change is the set of instructions that tell your cells which genes to turn on or off, and what “level” they should be set at. There is some evidence that these altered instructions can be passed down the generations.

The problem here is not just dieting with the food aspect
It's attitude and positive thinking you have to also change your mindset !!
If u really want to do it really look inside yourself and see what your doing and this is the hard part being honest with yourself !
I lost 3 stone with slimming world it's not a diet it's about making the right choices it's a lifestyle change in a year I gained back some and super struggled to get it off .
So I tell u what a did I was honest with myself that I hadn't been on it 100 %and admitting that was super hard !
I stuck to plan last week 100% got on the scales and I had lost 6 1/2 pounds I was shocked I didn't feel like I had lost any I had been eating really well filling up on all good foods not once did I feel hungry last week ! If u want to make change this is how x
Hardest part is being in the right mindset good luck x

I learned this doing a science degree at uni, before fitness influencers or indeed Instagram, even existed.

It’s obviously more complicated than just that but we are biologically guarded against being underweight due to how we evolved. We now live in a world where high fat and sugar foods are in abundance.

It doesn’t take much to show the evidence, the proportion of the population that are underweight versus overweight speaks for itself.

I don't follow your logic, sorry.

You say actually people can eat too few calories to lose weight, then back this up by saying the number of overweight compared to underweight people in the population is evidence, then say we are in a world where high sugar and high fat foods are in abundance.

The logical flow in your writing really implies we have an overweight population due to the foods we have normalised (this is true) but you attribute being overweight to people eating too few calories?

I will need the dots joined up.

Weight loss, diet and exercise seems to me to be totally individual. What works beautifully for one person won't shift a pound for another (excepting total starvation of course). I run four miles five times a week, cycle for 45 minutes 7 days a week, do a hour of Pilates a week spread over three twenty minute sessions. And I can only eat one meal a day or I start to put on weight. And that meal has to be low carb. I'm BMI 21, 9 stone at 5'6 but because I am 65 my body wants to do as little as it can get away with. So it's like I have to FORCE my metabolism to work, despite its reluctance, otherwise if I stop I start to gain weight and taking time off exercise makes my weight start to shoot up.

For other people, doing what I do would make them lose weight too quickly. For me, it's maintenance.