To have said something to ex?

[Oliverloverr]

So ex see’s our 2 DC every other weekend. The kids have started to get upset due to the length of time between visits to their dads so I raised the issue with him and he said he would get back to me on it. My daughter (9) came home from
her dads this weekend really upset and just said she didn’t want to say bye to her dad, why couldn’t he just keep them for an extra few hours? He bought her a gift explaining how much he loved her and told her to hug it when she kissed him (in my
opinion it is all bollocks as actions speak louder than words). If he really missed them he would attempt to see them more, he is just a Disney dad.

Nowhere near enough information. How far away does he live, is it court ordered, what are his working hours, and yes, how have you both behaved during all this? Have you stopped him seeing her any times, do you refuse to do any transportation? As I said, far too many variables for a clear-cut answer here.

How is your co-parenting relationship with him? Would you be happy for him to have them more? Logistically is this possible? IE, does he live near enough to have them on a school night.

Are you able to have a productive conversation with him about it? If he had them more nights, you might lose some CMS payments, is that going to affect you?

He doesn’t Live too far away and works really long hours. I am absolutely happy for him to have them more (even 50%) I would happily do the transport but he refuses to tell me where he lives. I would even help him out if it meant he saw them more.

He literally hates me for whatever reason. I am blocked, my mother is blocked, I don’t really have any way of contacting him unless he calls me.

It isn’t court ordered no, I have also never ever stopped him from Seeing them.

Whose idea was every other weekend? With his hours is it viable for him to have them more without telling you where he lives? How long have you been separated?

We have been split now for around 18 months. My point is he could see them more if he really wanted to.

He hates you, hates your mother and won't tell you where he lives.

Why?

You say 'for some reason' but you must know, surely?

He used to see them 2 days in the week but we agreed it would be better for every other weekend as he would get 2 full days with them rather than them being at school

I mean, he got together with his best friends sister a week after he left so I was understandably angry but he accused me of being a psycho. My mum on the other hand hadn’t said a single word to him since we split

So you’re the one who said every other weekend then and basically dictated when he’d see them?

I suspect he feels a tiny bit guilty when the kids tell him they miss him, but he doesn't really want to be bothered seeing them more, so makes out it's down to you. Seems a common way to behave for a lot of divorced dads

So he can realistically with his work hours? Will he not consider going back to the 2 days in the week in addition to every other weekend?

She said ‘we’ not ‘I’

Generally parents prefer EOW because it means they both get weekend time with the DC which is important when you’re at work and they’re at school all week. What I will say is he should be using his annual leave to spend substantial time with them in the school holidays and since he lives close, perhaps he could collect them from school more and see them that way.

He finishes work at like 7pm so it is unrealistic. He could have them on another day at another weekend all he has to do is call and ask and I would never say no. I just hate that he says he misses them to them but doesn’t actually do anything about it

Is it ok to let him take the children and you don't know where they are going? That would worry me greatly, esp as he's blocked you. Surely that's not right?

There isn’t much I can do about that?

Not sure. I'd get legal advice here if you can.

Legally I don’t have to know where he lives. Him blocking me I suppose is his choice. It’s all very odd I agree

in the beginning he probably blocked me for understandable reasons. I was really upset with what he did to us now I would only speak to him if I had to.

How do you communicate with him? Is it just face to face when he drops the kids off?

Yes, it is very odd and uncomfortable. You could apply to the courts I guess. Wondered if it was ok to ask him to communicate in emergencies via someone else, like his mum?

Anyway, best of luck with everything.

I suppose he would call me in an emergency as I haven’t blocked him.

When my daughter calls him on her tablet I will ask him to call me if I have to discuss something important.