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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

SEND - children’s needs to be reassessed from year 6 2029?

883 replies

missbish · 23/02/2026 06:07

Are they taking the piss? After the struggles parents have trying to secure support for their child, they’re then going to threaten to take it away once they’re due to go to secondary? Ds goes to secondary this year so I don’t think it will effect him but I am so angry for those it does effect.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Kirbert2 · 24/02/2026 18:38

Avantiagain · 24/02/2026 18:36

"The issue is is parents can’t win really
people don’t want money spent on our children because “ there is no money “ although let’s be honest there is other people they could target than disabled children but then they also don’t want Sen children disturbing their own children’s education …. Families like ours will always be the problem."

Someone will be along in the minute to say there is no point in educating some children and their parents should just keep them at home.

Happens all the time on threads like this unfortunately.

Avantiagain · 24/02/2026 18:38

To add ' because that is what they get carers allowance for'

Getting the bingo going.

Lougle · 24/02/2026 18:41

DD1 is going to cost the State so much. If she had been placed in the right secondary school, she would have thrived. But she was placed in the wrong school because it was half a mile closer. It was the wrong school profile for her needs and she was completely unable to cope. Now she has a psychiatrist, a psychologist, a learning disability nurse, she's just been assessed by an educational psychologist, a SaLT assessment is underway, the LA have had to commission a private OT assessment. The EP has told me today that only a completely bespoke and individual education provision will meet her needs. Not cheap. All because the school she should have gone to was ½ mile further away.

Shinyandnew1 · 24/02/2026 18:44

Haribos22 · 24/02/2026 18:30

The issue is is parents can’t win really
people don’t want money spent on our children because “ there is no money “ although let’s be honest there is other people they could target than disabled children but then they also don’t want Sen children disturbing their own children’s education …. Families like ours will always be the problem.

Schools can’t win either-we fight for money for those children but by the sounds of it, they might not even get an EHCP under the new order, let alone a special school place.

It doesn’t sound like there will be any winners.

StartingFreshFor2026 · 24/02/2026 19:13

SleeplessInWherever · 24/02/2026 18:33

My son was this child.

He was shoehorned into an EYFS mainstream placement and spent most of his time hiding in the cloakroom or attacking those around him. We were told multiple times a week he’d bitten, scratched, kicked either an adult or another child.

He’s 9 now and still has limited communication, he’s currently in his bedroom shouting the letter E. For no real reason. He’s still in pads, still smears, still bites.

There’s no way mainstream would have coped with him long term, and there’s no way children like him should be kept there or sent back.

I think we have the same child!

Haribos22 · 24/02/2026 19:20

Shinyandnew1 · 24/02/2026 18:44

Schools can’t win either-we fight for money for those children but by the sounds of it, they might not even get an EHCP under the new order, let alone a special school place.

It doesn’t sound like there will be any winners.

I wish I could believe this but it’s not the experience a lot of my circle witness with our own children in mainstream schools and they got a lot of money for mine when she was there … did they still not follow her EHCP … nope and that included a fully funded 1-1 they they took advantage off.

Shinyandnew1 · 24/02/2026 19:35

Haribos22 · 24/02/2026 19:20

I wish I could believe this but it’s not the experience a lot of my circle witness with our own children in mainstream schools and they got a lot of money for mine when she was there … did they still not follow her EHCP … nope and that included a fully funded 1-1 they they took advantage off.

Well, as SENCo, I know that I have fought tooth and nail for our pupils to get the right support and funding and it nearly broke me. I have resigned and sadly looking forward to it being someone else’s problem going forwards.

Araminta1003 · 24/02/2026 19:49

Are boys with complex SEND statistically more violent than girls with similar complex SEND? And will this translate to special school being reserved for more boys and ending up sexist potentially? A lot of girls will harm inwards rather than outwards. I cannot see how they will be able to accommodate violent SEND needs in mainstream as it will be a safeguarding issues vis a vis other pupils.

So it is just a question. Also, I guess teen boys are stronger etc. How are they going to make sure it does not end up sexist?

Lougle · 24/02/2026 19:55

Araminta1003 · 24/02/2026 19:49

Are boys with complex SEND statistically more violent than girls with similar complex SEND? And will this translate to special school being reserved for more boys and ending up sexist potentially? A lot of girls will harm inwards rather than outwards. I cannot see how they will be able to accommodate violent SEND needs in mainstream as it will be a safeguarding issues vis a vis other pupils.

So it is just a question. Also, I guess teen boys are stronger etc. How are they going to make sure it does not end up sexist?

DD1 started special school in 2009. Special schools had 75% boys then. I looked in to the statistics and she represented 1 in 250 as a 4 year old girl in special school.

71-73% of EHCPs currently go to boys.

So it's already far less likely that you'll find girls in special school.

Fearfulsaints · 24/02/2026 19:56

Araminta1003 · 24/02/2026 19:49

Are boys with complex SEND statistically more violent than girls with similar complex SEND? And will this translate to special school being reserved for more boys and ending up sexist potentially? A lot of girls will harm inwards rather than outwards. I cannot see how they will be able to accommodate violent SEND needs in mainstream as it will be a safeguarding issues vis a vis other pupils.

So it is just a question. Also, I guess teen boys are stronger etc. How are they going to make sure it does not end up sexist?

Ehcps are already awared to about 70% male. My friend daughter needed an autism specialist school and none took girls until year 3 so she just had to wait (i believe there are a couple that take girls now but parents have to weigh up the boy heavy envonment and risk of sexual assault. Its one of the eotas drivers noone dares say out loud.

The new suggested special provision packages do actually include an inward presentation though.

(I'm not suggesting all boys with sen sexually assault prople btw! Its a risk in mainstream too but there is more balance in numbers)

ExistingonCoffee · 24/02/2026 20:03

Araminta1003 · 24/02/2026 19:49

Are boys with complex SEND statistically more violent than girls with similar complex SEND? And will this translate to special school being reserved for more boys and ending up sexist potentially? A lot of girls will harm inwards rather than outwards. I cannot see how they will be able to accommodate violent SEND needs in mainstream as it will be a safeguarding issues vis a vis other pupils.

So it is just a question. Also, I guess teen boys are stronger etc. How are they going to make sure it does not end up sexist?

SEN support, EHCPs and SS placements already has a sex issue.

At a population level, males are far more likely to be at a school SEN Support level. The gap is narrower in some types of settings, such as secondary state schools, than other types, but there is still a gap. Males are far more likely to have an EHCP. Most SS are boy heavy to one extent or another. There are far fewer single sex special/specialist schools for girls than there are single sex special/specialist schools for boys.

SleeplessInWherever · 24/02/2026 20:04

Araminta1003 · 24/02/2026 19:49

Are boys with complex SEND statistically more violent than girls with similar complex SEND? And will this translate to special school being reserved for more boys and ending up sexist potentially? A lot of girls will harm inwards rather than outwards. I cannot see how they will be able to accommodate violent SEND needs in mainstream as it will be a safeguarding issues vis a vis other pupils.

So it is just a question. Also, I guess teen boys are stronger etc. How are they going to make sure it does not end up sexist?

It’s definitely unevenly weighted, and the impact of boys strength and aggression is already much higher. Our son is 9, but in age 13-14 clothes, and even I’d admit that when he “goes,” he really is a force to be reckoned with. He’s already removed from the environment for the wellbeing of the other kids when he’s in meltdown at school, I dread to think what they’d be able to do (or not do!) with him in mainstream.

Our KS4 boys in the PRU were another level. We had 4 girls out of a cohort of 85, and they were more likely to abscond, bring in substances, break things, or need some sort of pastoral/welfare support. The boys used to take bets on how many grown men it would take to restrain them, like it was a game, and bring in weapons.

I’d imagine, the packages of support should look different because their needs present differently, particularly as they have at least included inward presentations.

BlueandWhitePorcelain · 24/02/2026 20:17

Haribos22 · 24/02/2026 18:30

The issue is is parents can’t win really
people don’t want money spent on our children because “ there is no money “ although let’s be honest there is other people they could target than disabled children but then they also don’t want Sen children disturbing their own children’s education …. Families like ours will always be the problem.

My LA does a consultation with taxpayers every year about priorities for spending. IIRC, they are asked to vote for their top five choices in ranked order. The last consultation, the top priority (as per 55% of respondents) was spending on helping children achieve their potential!

BlueandWhitePorcelain · 24/02/2026 20:21

SleeplessInWherever · 24/02/2026 17:47

Sorry, my post was in agreement with yours, and was intended to suggest that the PP poster you were responding to doesn’t like facts and figures, because it doesn’t help their hyperbole.

The noun was LA, however 😂

I quite agree that posters without a clue should look at facts and figures, and not post things that aren’t reality, however (admittedly sarcastically!) I was agreeing with you.

Sorry - I was not expecting humour on a SEN thread in AIBU!

drspouse · 24/02/2026 20:32

Fearfulsaints · 24/02/2026 19:56

Ehcps are already awared to about 70% male. My friend daughter needed an autism specialist school and none took girls until year 3 so she just had to wait (i believe there are a couple that take girls now but parents have to weigh up the boy heavy envonment and risk of sexual assault. Its one of the eotas drivers noone dares say out loud.

The new suggested special provision packages do actually include an inward presentation though.

(I'm not suggesting all boys with sen sexually assault prople btw! Its a risk in mainstream too but there is more balance in numbers)

Edited

My DS is in a boy heavy and older teen heavy SEMH school. We want him in a resourced provision in a mainstream school. An EP has said he would be "more vulnerable" in mainstream. We disagree for exactly this reason - the pupil profile. There are many more risky pupils in his current school.

Sassiskt · 24/02/2026 20:42

Araminta1003 · 24/02/2026 19:49

Are boys with complex SEND statistically more violent than girls with similar complex SEND? And will this translate to special school being reserved for more boys and ending up sexist potentially? A lot of girls will harm inwards rather than outwards. I cannot see how they will be able to accommodate violent SEND needs in mainstream as it will be a safeguarding issues vis a vis other pupils.

So it is just a question. Also, I guess teen boys are stronger etc. How are they going to make sure it does not end up sexist?

This is exactly what’s happening in Scotland. A few years further down the inclusion pathway and violent attacks on
pupils and teachers have risen exponentially, anxiety is soaring and educational standards are plummeting. It’s all coming your way. We are the canary in the coal mine and it isn’t pretty at all.

Lougle · 24/02/2026 20:45

DD1 got very good at football! I remember her going to a soft play with a football area. She asked some mainstream boys if she could join in. They sneered and said no. She obviously had SN and was a bit wobbly. One of them missed the ball and it started to roll away. She booted it over his shoulder. He stared at her and said "you can play...."

Tarkadaaaahling · 24/02/2026 20:50

N0m0rerain · 24/02/2026 14:19

So you’re happy with children with significant needs not being properly catered for in classes alongside your children without any need?

Happy, no. Accepting yes, if that's what our nation can afford

SleeplessInWherever · 24/02/2026 20:54

Tarkadaaaahling · 24/02/2026 20:50

Happy, no. Accepting yes, if that's what our nation can afford

Can you tell that to every parent who comes on MN to ask how to get SENd children from their child’s class?

They’re not wrong, btw, but accepting isn’t the norm.

Tarkadaaaahling · 24/02/2026 20:57

drspouse · 24/02/2026 14:30

My DS has epilepsy. He needs way, way more in medical input than other children. Is that also unfair? Should all children have a certain amount of medical money available to them and if they use it up, tough, they die, whereas other children can spend it on, I don't know, 1:1 coaching in a sport or superfoods or going to a spa? Honestly, I have no idea how much his care including inpatients adds up to now but I doubt a well child of his age could possibly spend that much even on sports/food/swimming/well-being groups and under your proposed scheme he wouldn't get any of those.

Likewise, my daughter doesn't have an EHCP but she is quite a poor reader for her year. Should they not put in any reading interventions for her because the good readers in her class don't get them? Or should they spend the school money on her reading, but then buy aaaaallll the books that the good readers could read plus pay for them to go to hear an author speak and maybe to see the play of a book but my daughter DOESN'T get that because her "pot" is spent on extra reading lessons in the library? Also, which of those would encourage my daughter to try harder in reading - just the reading lessons, or maybe the reading lessons for her, plus a cheaper author visit for all the children in the year??

How about the scenario that's happening right now for many kids, where there's no money for the TA for the reading intervention for kids like your daughter who needs a bit of catching up with reading.... Because so much is going on your son's 100k a year fees?

Tarkadaaaahling · 24/02/2026 21:00

Lougle · 24/02/2026 15:20

I wouldn't hold your breath. There are 513,000 teachers in England. The £200 million for 'making sure every teacher has the expertise to teach children with SEN' equates to about £390 per teacher. What sort of training do you think £390 will buy?

It won't be bought 'per teacher'. A school will pay perhaps 10,000 for trainers to come to their school and maybe do two full days of training with 30 staff in a group. Economies of scale.

drspouse · 24/02/2026 21:01

Tarkadaaaahling · 24/02/2026 20:57

How about the scenario that's happening right now for many kids, where there's no money for the TA for the reading intervention for kids like your daughter who needs a bit of catching up with reading.... Because so much is going on your son's 100k a year fees?

That's not what's happening though. Maybe the good readers aren't getting their special trips to the play but she is getting her reading intervention AND he's in an expensive school.
We don't want him in an expensive school by the way but no other school will take him.

Kirbert2 · 24/02/2026 21:01

Tarkadaaaahling · 24/02/2026 20:57

How about the scenario that's happening right now for many kids, where there's no money for the TA for the reading intervention for kids like your daughter who needs a bit of catching up with reading.... Because so much is going on your son's 100k a year fees?

and in the new scenario do you really believe that TA's will be free to do reading intervention with children when the class has children in it that would otherwise be in a specialist school?

Lougle · 24/02/2026 21:06

Tarkadaaaahling · 24/02/2026 21:00

It won't be bought 'per teacher'. A school will pay perhaps 10,000 for trainers to come to their school and maybe do two full days of training with 30 staff in a group. Economies of scale.

Listen to yourself. "Two full days of training". Is that what you think it takes to be trained to teach children with SEN?

EasternStandard · 24/02/2026 21:09

Sassiskt · 24/02/2026 20:42

This is exactly what’s happening in Scotland. A few years further down the inclusion pathway and violent attacks on
pupils and teachers have risen exponentially, anxiety is soaring and educational standards are plummeting. It’s all coming your way. We are the canary in the coal mine and it isn’t pretty at all.

This is so bad. I’m surprised it’s not causing more backlash. I suppose people feel stuck with what politicians put on their dc.