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AIBU?

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Original poster

Partner moving rooms round

30 replies

Sheeparemyfriends · 22/02/2026 20:51

Partner moved lounge round to accommodate his stereo and speakers. Said he wanted to see what it looked like, but won't contemplate moving it back. I'm digging my heels in as he didn't listen when I said I didn't want him to as it would look rubbish. The problem is, he will only do what he feels like doing. We've no carpet on the stairs, or door on our room as he won't do it, get anyone in and won't tolerate me arranging it. Don't even get me started on the rest of the house. Now I'm the baddy for being upset and refusing to engage with his man cave. Am I being unreasonable? If so, how do I climb down from my viewpoint?

OP posts:
Owly11 · 22/02/2026 20:55

Just move it back?

Original poster
Sheeparemyfriends · 22/02/2026 20:57

Owly11 · 22/02/2026 20:55

Just move it back?

Furniture is too heavy and don't want to get son involved. He already feels bad enough for helping

OP posts:
MeridianB · 22/02/2026 20:59

Is the is an isolated incident or is he usually overbearing?

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 22/02/2026 21:00

Is it both your homes? How long as he been living there?

The problem is, he will only do what he feels like doing
That doesnt sound like a good partner.

won't tolerate me arranging it
wont tolerate wtaf!

BlessedCheesemaker · 22/02/2026 21:00

You have no bedroom door?

TomatoSandwiches · 22/02/2026 21:01

Stop living with him.

mzpq · 22/02/2026 21:02

Sheeparemyfriends · 22/02/2026 20:57

Furniture is too heavy and don't want to get son involved. He already feels bad enough for helping

Show quote history

How heavy is it that you can't move it on your own?

As for the carpet and door if you can't sort that yourself (and door hanging is very difficult), then arrange for someone to do it when he's at work.

What's the worst that can happen?

Are you scared of him?

Original poster
Sheeparemyfriends · 22/02/2026 21:02

G

OP posts:
Original poster
Sheeparemyfriends · 22/02/2026 21:03

Furniture is too heavy and don't want to get son involved. He already feels bad enough for helping

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 22/02/2026 21:03

MeridianB · 22/02/2026 20:59

Is the is an isolated incident or is he usually overbearing?

Did you even read the post?

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 22/02/2026 21:07

What would happen if you just went to the carpet shop and booked someone to come and do the carpets? Does this house belong to you both, or just one if you?

Are you afraid of him?

SarahAndQuack · 22/02/2026 21:07

How did you come to decide on the original layout?

I think it's a tricky one - he shouldn't have told you he was trying it out if he actually just intended to change it and wasn't being honest. And not wanting you to arrange someone to come and hang a door is weird (I am assuming you are in agreement the door needs hanging!). But ... he does have a right to an opinion on what's where, surely? So what are the possible compromises you'd accept for his stereo/speakers?

Coconutter24 · 22/02/2026 21:07

won't tolerate me arranging it

I’d arrange what I wanted and tell him I won’t tolerate living in a house with jobs half done

hollyandribbon · 22/02/2026 21:10

For his stereo and speakers… was this a joint decision purchase or did he just buy them and move the room around?

SarahAndQuack · 22/02/2026 21:12

hollyandribbon · 22/02/2026 21:10

For his stereo and speakers… was this a joint decision purchase or did he just buy them and move the room around?

Would also like to know the answer to this one!

Original poster
Sheeparemyfriends · 22/02/2026 21:15

SarahAndQuack · 22/02/2026 21:07

How did you come to decide on the original layout?

I think it's a tricky one - he shouldn't have told you he was trying it out if he actually just intended to change it and wasn't being honest. And not wanting you to arrange someone to come and hang a door is weird (I am assuming you are in agreement the door needs hanging!). But ... he does have a right to an opinion on what's where, surely? So what are the possible compromises you'd accept for his stereo/speakers?

A very close relative died a month ago and I'm just not in the mood for faffing about with anything tbh. He knows all this. As to am I afraid of getting someone in? Not afraid but he's difficult.

OP posts:
SarahAndQuack · 22/02/2026 21:16

Sheeparemyfriends · 22/02/2026 21:15

A very close relative died a month ago and I'm just not in the mood for faffing about with anything tbh. He knows all this. As to am I afraid of getting someone in? Not afraid but he's difficult.

Show quote history

I'm so sorry. Absolutely understand that. In that case, yes, he's absolutely being a pratt and he ought to knock it off.

Original poster
Sheeparemyfriends · 22/02/2026 21:17

hollyandribbon · 22/02/2026 21:10

For his stereo and speakers… was this a joint decision purchase or did he just buy them and move the room around?

I knew he was replacing the speakers. Didn't realise it would entail room change.

OP posts:
Bananalanacake · 23/02/2026 06:33

Who owns the property you live in. Could you have a relationship but live apart. I refused to ever live with boyfriends for this very reason. But I understand everyone has different circumstances.

LucyLoo1972 · 23/02/2026 07:50

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 22/02/2026 21:07

What would happen if you just went to the carpet shop and booked someone to come and do the carpets? Does this house belong to you both, or just one if you?

Are you afraid of him?

I was similar to OP and my husband wouldnt do things. I have no clue why I dint just do them. I ended up having a pscyhtoci breakdwon

LucyLoo1972 · 23/02/2026 07:55

Coconutter24 · 22/02/2026 21:07

won't tolerate me arranging it

I’d arrange what I wanted and tell him I won’t tolerate living in a house with jobs half done

My DH is the same and a hoarder and it broke me completely

LucyLoo1972 · 23/02/2026 07:55

Bananalanacake · 23/02/2026 06:33

Who owns the property you live in. Could you have a relationship but live apart. I refused to ever live with boyfriends for this very reason. But I understand everyone has different circumstances.

did that work ok? I think I need to live separately to my DH

rwalker · 23/02/2026 07:57

It’s a difficult one because you want your own way and he wants his own way
your as bad as each other
you both need to compromise

DeltaVariant · 23/02/2026 07:59

LucyLoo1972 · 23/02/2026 07:50

I was similar to OP and my husband wouldnt do things. I have no clue why I dint just do them. I ended up having a pscyhtoci breakdwon

Show quote history

My lazy as fuck ex essentially did this too. He was working as little as 3 hours a week and still did fuck all. I was working 70 or so (full time work, part time uni plus advanced apprenticeship) it broke me entirely.

Dont tolerate this selfish bullshit. Speakers are not a priority when there’s basic jobs like a door missing!

FrustratedatDawn · 23/02/2026 10:06

hollyandribbon · 22/02/2026 21:10

For his stereo and speakers… was this a joint decision purchase or did he just buy them and move the room around?

I was involved with my DH verrry fancy speakers and stereo upgrade from going to the shop (for a listen in a living room setup) and agreeing where everything was going to go in our home.

Your DH/DP is a prick. Sorry 😔

PS sorry, aimed at the OP.

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