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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I going to fail probation

279 replies

Greenraintoday · 21/02/2026 07:16

I'm getting worried, half way through probation, have had 3 unavoidable bouts of sickness ( all different cases and not disability related) been late in to work 4 times and have been reminded to answer emails that I forgot several times

In my defense I have had alot going.on in personal life and this has impacted me

AIBU to think I should be given another chance ?

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 21/02/2026 11:19

PearTreess · 21/02/2026 10:17

Was her sickness evidenced by a doctor's note?

No. Before she was ill she was clearly getting sick and was clearly not completely over it when she returned.

I don’t expect someone to see a doctor with a cold/flu virus.

I don’t view sickness as some moral failing.

chubbaa · 21/02/2026 11:20

If you’ve been there less than 6 months they can get rid easily. If you have performance issues before probation ends added to all the other bits that will strengthen their case

LIZS · 21/02/2026 11:21

Greenraintoday · 21/02/2026 10:17

I have childcare issues which is why I am late and sickness is due to colds and flu , have just not been well enough to go in

I am doing my best but don't see that these are deal breakers, don't I have more rights now under the new workers bill anyway?

No none of that gives you leeway from your working contract. There may be “time off for dependants” policy but that is normally to arrange care in an emergency not for ongoing issues and poor timekeeping. Do your coworkers behave similarly unreliably?

LadyLapsang · 21/02/2026 11:21

I haven’t had a member of staff on probation for years, but if I had doubts I would just extend your probation to 9 or, exceptionally, to 12 months.

Greenraintoday · 21/02/2026 11:23

Ok thanks everyone, I've taken alot on board from the comments

OP posts:
Ewock · 21/02/2026 11:23

I'm not saying this to be horrible, but childcare issue are not your employers problem. They have employed you to work specific hours which youve agreed to. Its on you to make it work.
Being off for colds, my work would not be impressed sometimes you need to dose yourself up and get through.
Add in illness, being late and not answering emails why do you think they'd want to keep you on?

BoredZelda · 21/02/2026 11:23

I wouldn’t be bothered about sickness, but being late and not doing the job is the bare minimum.

chubbaa · 21/02/2026 11:25

I’ve had real flu twice in the last 20 years. You should be going in with a cold during probation unless you’re asked not to

TerrysCIockworkOrange · 21/02/2026 11:25

Greenraintoday · 21/02/2026 10:17

I have childcare issues which is why I am late and sickness is due to colds and flu , have just not been well enough to go in

I am doing my best but don't see that these are deal breakers, don't I have more rights now under the new workers bill anyway?

These are garden variety life issues that a huge majority of working people have to manage. Doesn’t meet my definition of “a lot going on” so trying to play that card wouldn’t get you very far, if anything it would further highlight you as being unreliable!
Can’t see that you will pass from what you’ve said, assuming your employer is actually on top of things (I’ve worked in environments where probation periods were so woefully unsupervised people passed by default because of poor management). In their shoes I’d be unlikely to extend it either, unless you came to me with a robust plan for how things were going to change, and before your probation ended

Womaninhouse17 · 21/02/2026 11:28

Millions of women have childcare issues. It's no excuse. You don't seem to consider the responsibility you owe to your employer.

StephensLass1977 · 21/02/2026 11:33

don't I have more rights now under the new workers bill anyway

Oh and there we go. Nope, I'd get rid of you in a heartbeat for that comment alone. You've just shown that you're a taker and not a giver.

stclementine · 21/02/2026 11:35

Greenraintoday · 21/02/2026 10:17

I have childcare issues which is why I am late and sickness is due to colds and flu , have just not been well enough to go in

I am doing my best but don't see that these are deal breakers, don't I have more rights now under the new workers bill anyway?

Sorry but they absolutely are deal breakers. If you can’t organise childcare during your probation then you are giving the message to yojr employer that you will be unreliable and always late, flakey and off for childcare issues. Also not responding to emails js a definite red flag and off with a cold….really? Get your arse into work. So yes, you’ll fail this probation amd no manager in their right mind would give you an extension when they can go back out to recruit someone more reliable.

superchick · 21/02/2026 11:47

It depends what the job is. I'm a manager in the public sector and we are desperate for staff who are emotionally resilient and have a certain personality type to do the work. If I felt that you fitted the bill I'd extend your probation period to see if you could pull it round.

Vicliz24 · 21/02/2026 11:49

Probation is probation for a reason. You need to perform exceptionally during it to prove you’re the right person for the job . Lateness and an inability to perform to the required standards is definitely a deal breaker. There are huge amounts of people unemployed who would gladly fulfill the requirements that you’re not doing. Hardship I know but true . Probation is your time to shine .

HoskinsChoice · 21/02/2026 11:51

Greenraintoday · 21/02/2026 10:17

I have childcare issues which is why I am late and sickness is due to colds and flu , have just not been well enough to go in

I am doing my best but don't see that these are deal breakers, don't I have more rights now under the new workers bill anyway?

OK so I think with this you've fully outed yourself. At least I really hope you're a troll, you cannot be this entitled? Sadly, even if you're a troll, I don't think this attitude is that unusual these days.

Childcare issues are the employee's issues. Not the employers. You are being paid to start at your contracted time and finish at your contracted time and work hard in between. If you can't do that, you're not grown up enough to be paid.

Flexibility is earned. If an employee demonstrates that they are a competent, committed employee then flexibility around contractual terms is often happily given. But if you start a role being consistently late and then start claiming employee rights you don't stand a chance in this job or future ones. Whether you're a troll or just entitled, grow up.

BigYellowBus · 21/02/2026 11:55

Greenraintoday · 21/02/2026 10:17

I have childcare issues which is why I am late and sickness is due to colds and flu , have just not been well enough to go in

I am doing my best but don't see that these are deal breakers, don't I have more rights now under the new workers bill anyway?

This would be a real red flag to me. It's often easier to deal with long term sickness than unreliable workers who are guaranteed to to have a few days off each month and who take it for granted that's the norm. Several colds in a few months would ring major alarm bells

As for childcare issues - have you discussed this with your manager and asked whether your hours can be adjusted?

Miggledyhiggledy · 21/02/2026 11:55

Greenraintoday · 21/02/2026 11:23

Ok thanks everyone, I've taken alot on board from the comments

Better luck with your next thread.

HoskinsChoice · 21/02/2026 11:57

superchick · 21/02/2026 11:47

It depends what the job is. I'm a manager in the public sector and we are desperate for staff who are emotionally resilient and have a certain personality type to do the work. If I felt that you fitted the bill I'd extend your probation period to see if you could pull it round.

So as a manager in the public sector, you have an employee who isn't performing, has taken 3 sets of sick leave in the space of a couple of months, when she does come in, she's late and she thinks all of this is ok and that some random employee rights will back her up, you're still thinking you might extend her probation. That's the public's taxes you're wasting there. It's little wonder the public sector has a reputation for being so poorly managed!

Iwantsandybeachesandgoodfood · 21/02/2026 11:57

I got ill a week into a new job. I went in anyway and luckily my boss found me and sent me home. Most importantly for me, they’d seen that I was willing and trying. This is where I think it doesn’t look good @Greenraintoday. You don’t seem to have gone out of your way to try and make it work.

Using childcare as an excuse for lateness is poor; millions of parents have to juggle that daily.

Why on earth would you not check emails? Surely that’s the most basic and easily done part. It’s all self-inflicted OP so I think your only chance would be to hold your hands up and admit you’ve seriously fucked up but are willing to do x, y and z to make it work and ask for an extension on your probation.

Geenie1207 · 21/02/2026 11:59

saltandvinegarpringles · 21/02/2026 10:54

What grace do you think they owe her, exactly?

She can't be arsed to turn up on time, doesn't respond to e-mails and has had three periods of sickness before she's even passed her probation.

Maybe some human kindness…

Being a mum is hard, they are usually doing most of the unpaid childcare (pick ups and drop offs) and I think a nice employer would understand that.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 21/02/2026 12:02

Geenie1207 · 21/02/2026 11:59

Maybe some human kindness…

Being a mum is hard, they are usually doing most of the unpaid childcare (pick ups and drop offs) and I think a nice employer would understand that.

All the other Mums in the workplace who put plans in place to make it work, shouldn’t have to pick up the pieces when OP is off sick with colds/late/forgetting to reply to emails

superchick · 21/02/2026 12:05

HoskinsChoice · 21/02/2026 11:57

So as a manager in the public sector, you have an employee who isn't performing, has taken 3 sets of sick leave in the space of a couple of months, when she does come in, she's late and she thinks all of this is ok and that some random employee rights will back her up, you're still thinking you might extend her probation. That's the public's taxes you're wasting there. It's little wonder the public sector has a reputation for being so poorly managed!

We have 10 vacancies at the moment in my office for entry level positions that we can not fill. As soon as we get someone in they either leave to get a better paid job once they've been trained up or they move up the ladder within our service. The pay is atrocious for the complexity of the job. I wouldn't get rid of someone that I thought could do the job longer term for the reasons mentioned.

I have no control over pay but I can give people some flexibility around childcare if they need it.

Gazelda · 21/02/2026 12:07

Geenie1207 · 21/02/2026 11:59

Maybe some human kindness…

Being a mum is hard, they are usually doing most of the unpaid childcare (pick ups and drop offs) and I think a nice employer would understand that.

shes half way through probation. So she’s been employed there for a max of 3 months. Possibly a lot less.

nice employers who don’t tackle 3 sickness absences, 4 lates and several work mistakes in this short space of time won’t stay in business very long.

Mt563 · 21/02/2026 12:08

Greenraintoday · 21/02/2026 10:17

I have childcare issues which is why I am late and sickness is due to colds and flu , have just not been well enough to go in

I am doing my best but don't see that these are deal breakers, don't I have more rights now under the new workers bill anyway?

Hope you don't display this attitude at work!! If one of my employees thought turning up on time and doing the basics (answering emails) wasn't important, they'd soon be out.

Isometimeswonder · 21/02/2026 12:15

Pricelessadvice · 21/02/2026 07:19

Lots of people have things going on in their personal life.

If you can’t even make the effort for your probationary period, when you know you are being monitored, god knows what you’ll be like as a full employee.

I’d let you go. Sorry OP.

Yep. As a line manager I'd be hoping you'd be let go before being made permanent as I doubt we'd see much improvement

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