To be grateful that I have never defined myself by money.

[Differentforgirls]

Loads of threads on here regarding income as the be all and end all. After Andrew being arrested I’m so grateful I have always defined “success” as having good relationships with my family and friends regardless of money. Who wants a dysfunctional family and circle of friends like he has?

I’d rather be relatively skint but happy.

AIBU?

its clear he also loved status and exploited it

I mean, I earn decently and plenty of people assume it was because I chased money - I do like financial security (and buying nice things!) but mainly I love the career and skills I’ve built myself - after coming from a family and upbringing where ‘we’re not like those people’ was often thrown around and I assumed I’d never be smart enough to go to uni and have a high-paying job.

Definitely not just rich people who can be dysfunctional 😂

So sad eh?

He's royalty, of course he valued status.

You are not wrong op, mega rich or important people always seem unhappy, maybe chasing something drives you to aquire money or status.

Financial security is important though, although if you always have great relationships maybe they can be your safetynet in life.

I agree and you should be proud of yourself.

I mean that there are people whose money defines them. Both my children earn good money but they don’t make it their be all and end all.

Agree 😊

He didn't ask to be born in his position. Don't get me wrong, that has nothing to do with what he's being accused of, but being a royal of course defines who he is. Being whatever he is being accused of being is a different issue.

But it's not a "success" when it's literally your environment, you are not a "success" because you are born in a First World country.

People who have worked to arrive where they are should be proud of what they achieved, doesn't hard work define you a bit? Same with winning sports competition, it's all what goes behind that defines you, or part of it.

You define yourself by whatever you want. I don't think having good relationship with friends and family is enough for me, but we are all different

You can have both you know , it’s not an either or

who wouldn't love the status?

People are so hypocritical, but when who wouldn't love the freedom that money gives you, unlimited resources, immediate access to any medial treatment you might need, the best education for your kids.

Exploiting your status in a deprived way is a different issue, but many people who are born privileged are perfectly decent, and hard working. They just don't make excuses for being born where they are.

Do you make excuses for being born in a safe Western Country, or do you just take it as a given, and find something else to complain about?

I think theres a difference between defining yourself with your money / appreciation of what you have / feel entitled to what you have.

Andrew is a spoilt entitled fucker.

Andrew has had access to levels of wealth most people can never dream of.

That is a very different thing to financial security.

My granny lost a tiny baby girl because she lived in a time and place with no free healthcare. She couldn't afford the doctor's bills. She died of dementia in her 80s, but that lost baby was crystal clear in her mind to the end.

Saying money doesn't matter tends to be a hallmark of privilege ime.

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It does matter. Your poor granny 😢. But what I’m trying to say, obviously badly, is that it shouldn’t define you.

I'd love to define myself by money but I don't have enough 😁

I don’t really get the equivalency between the disaster that is Prince Andrew exploring his status as ‘chosen by god’ child of royalty, and your average mumsnetter aspiring to a slightly better quality of life via earning a decent income tbh.

I like having money, money solves so many of lives problems. However health and happy relationships are the most important thing. I know lots of lovely happy people who are very well off. Being wealthy doesn’t make you obnoxious any more than being skint does.

Life is much easier if money is not an issue. I have been a CP social worker for 20 years, so I will never be rich and I was widowed at a young age and living on only my income was a constant source of stress. In the real world (outside mumsnet where a household income needs to be far above the national average), I have been fortunate in that my income has been enough to keep us solvent. I have had years of frozen pay and we are certainly not well off but I see relative poverty every day. This is not only financial, but includes poverty in terms of life chances due to many factors No one wants to admit it, but a luck plays a huge part for most people when it comes down to it.

I’m so grateful I have always defined “success”

there.

But have you ever been really, truly skint?

It's not much of a flex to start a thread congratulating yourself for being morally superior to the Andrew formerly known as Prince.

Agree. Husband and I both worked in fields like you and saw the awful lives some people are born into.

And yes, years of pay freezes then 1% pay rises didn’t help!

Yes.

OMG OP these are my thoughts exactly. Twice in the last month or so I’ve had people say ‘I don’t know where I went wrong’, even though they stay in detached houses, own business. But they aren’t quite as rich as their friends and that’s a bugbear.
I’m in a two bed end terrace. It’s all a state of mind. Sure I’d be happy in a detached house with a bigger garden for the dog to run around in, but I like my little house. It’s a cosy haven. I find people can focus on the negatives, when they should appreciate what they already have and focus on the little things that bring them happiness and contentment instead 😁🌸.

I'm not seeing these threads tbh.

Or perhaps, I'm not reading then the same way you are

Both my children earn good money but they don’t make it their be all and end all.

It's easy not to think about money when you have it, as you and your well off children know.

Come back when you're below the poverty line.