UK-born Londoners, are your friends mostly British or mixed?

[Comfortable8520]

Random curiosity question for those who were born in the UK, and currently live in London.

How mixed are your friendship groups in terms of background or where people originally come from?

I've lived here for 17 years and recently noticed that many of my close friends are also from abroad. I'm wondering whether others find their social circles naturally end up quite international, or not really. Would be interesting to hear people's experiences.

By friendship I mean people you genuinely consider close friends, those you would meet outside work or structured settings, stay in touch with, invite to your home, rely on for support, etc., rather than just friendly colleagues or casual social contacts.

You are unreasonable = I'm British born and have plenty of close friends from all over the world.

You are NOT unreasonable= I'm British born and most of my close friends are from here.

I am in London. Of all my friends, close friends (and even colleagues), very few are British born.

I mean have you tried to make friends with British born people? It’s a two way street, you’re equally responsible for your friendships.
You have also moved to a suburban area that may people move to when they’re at the settling down stage of life, having kids etc and they already have full social lives and aren’t really attempting to meet new people.

I'm an internal immigrant to London. I'd say most of my friends here are British born but at least 50% have non-British heritage. I also have plenty of non-UK born friends too - France, Israel, ME, US, Aus etc

Thanks for sharing this! People say I ask strange questions here but I'll ask nevertheless - is there a reason you preferred (or it happened naturally?) to be close friends with British born people mostly?

Has to Google what that means

Thanks Flocke. Can I ask why? (If you know the reason)

Born in London in the 70s, only moving north a few years ago.

My degree in London was International Economics, and most of the students on it were from the continents of Europe and Africa. I kept a lot of those friends.

Over the decades, I've had a fair few jobs, and my friends made at work are literally from all over. English, a lot of Trinidadian, Jamaican, American and Canadian, Romanian, Polish, Russian, Ukrainian, Chinese, Indian, Moroccan, you name it.

I feel lucky to have been brought up in London and to spend so much of my life there. Just isn't for me these days. Sometimes in the north, people will tell me they've never met, for example, a black person before, and it is mind blowing. My partner's cousin is black by marriage, and partner's stepsister's daughter cried when she met him, and stated that that was the reason. The girl was around 4 at the time. Crazy.7

Definitely people in my area are trying to make new close friends. I have quite a few examples of this. It'a also full of people moving in and out, all the time (but not crazy dynamic, of course).

I have tried to be friends with British born people, in the same way as with everyone else. I don't know how to precisely describe it but on certain level I feel like there is a wall between us. Although we are going out, having fun and being invited to things from time to time I feel some sort of depth in relationship is lacking.

Sorry, not sure how else to describe it...

I'm British born and British heritage and lived in London for many years although I don't live there now. My husband is Russian so I knew a lot of Russian people in London. My two closest friends were Taiwanese and Pakistani I was also friends with Scottish, Irish and Iranian people. Now we live in Scotland and most of my friends are Scottish.

Thanks! Have never been in such areas of the UK as was always drawn to London

My husband is London born and bred. He has a mix of british and international friends. He has quite separate groups e.g primary schol neighborhood friends are all british, whilst post grad uni friends are mostly international.

Londoner born and bred (Irish parents).
Very mixed friendship group.

My four best friends of many years are all London born and bred with various backgrounds - one White British, one mixed Irish/Nigerian, one mixed Irish/Mauritian and one Jamaican. My school mum friends are Turkish, Algerian, Albanian, Indian, Italian.

My husband is a born and bred Londoner of Guyanese/Jamaican parents and has a very mixed friendship group, too.

I’m in my 40s and grew up in a very diverse inner London area. It was usual to mix with all sorts of different people and cultures.

Scottish born Londoner here - I would say it's a big mix but most friends I've made in London are overseas. My husband is Australian so lots of those, then Romanian, South African, Brazilian, Portuguese, Mexican, Italian, Kiwis, Ghanaian. Also lots of 2nd gen friends who are British with Indian, Pakistani, Nigerian, Cameroon, Sri Lankan, German backgrounds. I grew up in an area without a huge amount of immigration but actually a lot of my close school friends have ended up with people who've immigrated here or are second gen. I'd say it's very mixed and my experience of making friends has been very different to yours in that everyone is from all over the shop!

Our friendship circles are pretty mixed. The two families we are closest to are both originally from Romania. They are awesome human beings. Hard working and really nurturing to their kids and their kids friends and just incredibly understanding and patient. We also have a family we are very close to who is a British Muslim who married an Egyptian Muslim. They are so much fun. I don't think they are very strict in their faith- they fast at Ramadan but she doesn't cover her head and we always share a bottle of wine together when we meet up. Otherwise my old school friends who we meet up with are all British, distance means we see them less frequently though.

Thanks! You give me some hope x

It is strange to be in a country for so many years and never become a close friend to someone who was born here.

But it’s largely because they have deep friendships already, they already have relatively local family, they have friends from childhood, they have family friends. Many people in their 30s actually aren’t looking for new deep connections unless they’ve moved to another country and need to build their life.

That maybe an issue specific to you. In 12 years of living in London I not only can pop in unannounced to see my English friends but I have keys to most of their houses, sat countless pets and children, slept on their couches after a relationship breakdown and hosted them on mine in similar circumstances. And never once a question about my nationality came up.

It did throw me! The whole "never seen a black person". They mean no harm. They just never met any.

A good 75% of my primary school (80s) was black, so that is what was normal to me. A few of the boys went on to play for Chelsea FC. My secondary school was more of a mix, predominantly white but with some Mexican girls, and a lot of Europeans. It's when I went to uni with the international course I mentioned that I met lots of different nationalities.

I love the north but it was extremely alien to me that so much of it (NE) had never seen black/Asian people. But it is rapidly changing now. In the last 2 years there's been a huge upsurge in all sort of nationalities moving here. I love it!

Don't think so. See how many people replied on this thread that their close friends are mostly/only British born...

Also, it's hard to imagine under what circumstances this could be only "specific to me"? What do you mean by that?

I hate to say this... but I've lived in London all my life and all of my close friends are white British. Most of my friendships are with people I went to school with and there was only one black guy in my whole year... who is a friend, but not a close one.

It plays the role, I agree. I do still people moving here from Midlands or other parts of the country and looking to find new local friends.

Ah ok. All your close friends are from school times? Have you always stayed in the same area? If so, that makes sense...

Yep, always stayed in the same area. Some of my girlfriends have a mixture of husbands, but they aren't my close friends.

I haven't lived in London for 30 years but most of my friends were white British then. DS now lives there and his friends are much more mixed, although as he works in hospitality he does meet a lot more people from all over. I would say that all his close friends are white British though. Birds of a feather..?