A 9yr Old Shouldn’t have Toilet Accidents

[BeBlueCat]

Dh’s sister and her family drove down and stayed with us last weekend. On the first evening, SIL discreetly asked me for a plastic bag and wipes for DN. It was obvious what had but I didn't say anything, thought it was a one off.
Next day we're at the park, kids run off to play. They come back and she pulls me aside saying he's had another accident and they need to pop to the loo to clean up. She looked embarrassed but seemed like was it was a routinely. I assumed he must have a medical condition.

I managed to ask her about it later and she was very blase. Said it happens when he's overexcited or if he "puts off going". I asked if they'd seen a GP or anyone about it and she just said "Oh no, he'll grow out of it” And that it had gotten better recently.

I was shocked. Surely a child having accidents at aged 9 is a huge red flag for medical attention? And If it happens at school? I can’t began to think how embarrassed he feel about the whole thing. I did want to say something more but didn’t in the end, not wanting to over step.

I think this is a really serious issue that needs proper attention, not a wait and see approach?

Maybe your SIL just doesn’t want to give you all of her son’s medical information? He’s entitled to some privacy.

You are right.

He needs to be assessed by an OT, and his GP needs to be aware and working on this.

It will affect this boy horribly in school if this is allowed to continue.

It is not normal at all.

Agree.

There are a lot of people here with very weird ideas of what family relationships should consist of.

In my experience this sounds like constipation but also apparently kids with ADHD often put off going to the loo.

but yes at 9, hopefully they are getting advice. It is worth saying something like oh my friends son is exactly like this and a GP was able to refer them on to services that completely changed everything.

Something casual and non judgmental.

This is simply not true. My son has been on Desmopressin since 6 for night time urine accidents. There’s various medication and bed alarms available. My son now sees a paediatrician every 3-6 months.

Not all GPs or consultants dismiss it.

Serious issues need to be addressed promptly.

Or some people here have a child like OP's nephew and know just how frustrating and largely unhelpful advice is from well meaning family members.